16 Year Old Daughter sat on fathers knee. Disgusting?

*AND our daughters

What on earth!! Absolutely crazy reaction from her and I would be very insulted at the implication if I was you. I am in my 30s and would still cuddle my dad/ sit on sofa with him/ sit on his knee- as would my 30 year old sister (our daughters.)

Run @redFlags1, run for the hills!

Your new partner is, sadly, a bit of an odd one. Has a previous partner been weird around children or do you think that she is just jealous of your daughter?

She is gaslighting you and that's the hallmark of a narcissist, they'll twist it round to you. Get rid of this woman because she wants to create a rift between you and your daughter. She is jealous and she will destroy your relationships with your wider family.

If you ever married her, she'd ensure that her sons would be included in your will but not your children. Get rid of her because she's dangerous for your daughter.

I wouldn't want her around my children.

My girls adore their father.

Whilst they may not sit in his lap, they certainly would throw their legs on top of him when sitting on the sofa, or have an arm around him, head on his shoulder etc.

They are very close.

I think it's so nice to see.

I'm glad you will be cutting ties with this woman as she is obviously very unhealthy. Out of pure curiosity, is your daughter particularly beautiful? I wonder if this is pure jealousy

Totally normal and lovely It’s apalling that her mind sees it as disgusting..sick and faint yuk .. it’s her that’s distorting it and that’s her stuff .She will go in to destroy your relationship with your lovely loving daughters. You will be acting differently around them to avoid an argument if you continue this relationship and that would be devastating. My 6 ft 4 25 year old son sits on my knee on the odd occasion and gives me (his mum) a big hug and so does my adult daughter. I used to sit on my dads knee in my 30 s right up til he died. We are a demonstrative family with absolutely no history of abuse. Please don’t let her destroy this loving family for you

I have answered before, me being a daughter who sat on her dad's knees untill he got new knees 😅 But I want to add that the reaction of OP 's new partner is not necessarily caused by sexual abuse. My own mother always was very jealous of the bond between me and my father and often protested vehemently when I sat on his knees. She didn't like it when he gave me a compliment, a bit of attention, a nice word. I'm the spitting image of my dad, she never liked me. She adores my 6 (yes 6) siblings, but I was always the odd-one-out. I was loved by my grandparents (dad's side) and by my dad. He always claimed he liked his children whatever their age sitting on his lap. Hell, my own daughter sat on her grandpa's knees when she was 16, and she still likes to sit on my husband's knees. She's 37! When my dad got ill and couldn't defend me anymore she started saying she would prefer for me to be dead as she thought it difficult I was still around. My father died last year at age 90. I'm not in contact with my mother anymore.

I would not hesitate to get rid of a partner who in any way suggested there was something sexual or inappropriate between me and my kids. That would be the end for me.

Our DD is 19. When she's home, she'll lie on sofa me/her dad, she often sits on our knee to give/get a full blown squeezy hug. She's very tactile and it's like a family joke that she takes any opportunity to be made a fuss off. She's the only 'child' in our family and is the same with aunts and uncles.

We're a touchy feely family of italians - we were the same with our parents and extended family.

In your DP's defence, there may be some past trauma that is triggered but it still doesn't excuse childish sulking behaviour. You need to discuss this and reach a point where you're both happy - having to adjust your interaction with your DC is not an option, IMO.

And having read more of your posts, the issue is definitely with her. Even if it gives her the ick, as it probably would me, there’s nothing wrong with it. If anything she is gaslighting you (a term which is so commonly misused by people). She is trying to make you think there is something wrong and wholly inappropriate with you and your behaviour. It’s her issue. If it makes her uncomfortable then she can leave the room as I do with my DP.

Moody all night and feeling sick is an odd reaction. But I would also find the behaviour a bit off. Not so much in a sexual way. Or it being suggestive of anything untoward. Just would give me the ick a bit. My DP’s kids are very physical with him. They’re 10 and 13 and they play fight and tickle and roll about on top of him and the older one likes to nuzzle his face into my DP’s neck. Yes it’s nice they’re close but the behaviour gives me the ick and I have to leave the room. I certainly wouldn’t be moody with him over it though. They’re his children and he can behave how he likes!

🤮

I wondered how long it would take…

Only if you have a creepy brain.

Clicked ‘send’ too soon - however, gf’s reaction is OTT

In theory it seems ok, loving, affectionate etc. in practice it looks a bit off.

Then I’m afraid OP she doesn’t seem very nice! Maybe u need to rethink this relationship?

Brilliant reply Sandyhappypeople. It's good that you came in near the end of this post as yours really sums it up. So sorry for the lost time with your dad. ❤️

Ask her outright if she has suffered sexual abuse? Or seen it first hand? Then also ask her if she is jealous of your daughter?
how she reacts will say a lot but please put your daughter first.

Am sure this has been mentioned already but there was a thread not dissimilar to this one a while back . The OP discussed his partner m's reaction and she disclosed she'd suffered some sexual abuse in her childhood IIRC. It could be a similar situation here, depending on what she's got upset about before.

It's still her problem for her to address but could it be the same thing here?

Your partner sounds very weird. Run.

You are her dad she can sit on your lap when she is 40 too and it will be still fine.

this