16 Year Old Daughter sat on fathers knee. Disgusting?

I’m 30 and at the weekend I laid on the sofa with my head in my fathers lap (using him as a pillow basically).
Not weird at all.

What in Hades?? 👀😳

It’s lovely you have a wonderful relationship with your girls dp sounds jealous and unhinged tbh I mean sick and faint?

my dad was a bit of a creep and I don’t speak to him let alone have cuddles I would never assume the worst of a daughter and father sharing affection, it’s lovely and something I didn’t have. Your gf is odd I would swerve her

When I reached about 10/11 my father started (physically) pushing me away if I went to hug him or sit on his lap. He thought it was 'wrong'. Our relationship never really recovered. Don't be like my dad.

It’s a bit sad that she thinks this and she needs to understand that there are different types of touch, many of which are wholly fine and appropriate. It’s ok to be on guard against inappropriate touch but seems that she has them confused. She could Google it but for starters there are differences between:
Friendly touch
Loving touch
Sexual touch
Fixing touch
Accidental touch
Hurtful, aggressive touch
Space invading touch
Problem touch
etc etc. obvs this list isn’t the be all and end all and sexual touch can be both wonderful or problematic, but at least it shows the breadth of touch. I think it’s sad that people are now so worried about being accused of inappropriate touching that they draw back from any of it but I guess that does make things safer.

Strange reaction. There must be a back story.
I often sat on my dad’s lap to watch telly as did my Dsis.
also when we went out somewhere or to bed we hugged and kissed both my parents.
It’s the most natural thing in the world to show affection to loved ones.
I wonder what has gone on in this ladies life to cause such a reaction.

I wish my son was more huggy!

I think your partner's reaction was odd. My first reaction when I read your post was that this says more about what might have happened to her, than what you were doing.

Whilst you should not put your partner's feelings above the loving relationship you have with your daughter, if you are going to continue the relationship then I think you need to get to the bottom of it. If she has suffered some form of abuse - or perhaps it happened to a sibling or a daughter - then this is something that is, understandably, going to trigger it. So it might be that you carry on with the relationship, but confide in your daughters that displays of affection should be kept to when she isn't there to start with, and hopefully if your relationship with your partner continues then she will become more comfortable with it.

But if there is no reason for this reaction - other than being a nut job who sees vice when there isn't any - then I would think twice about carrying on.

Not sure I really know the difference between sitting on someone's knee or on their lap. To me they mean the same thing. It's not like anyone actually sits just on someone's knees specifically.

What's disgusting and inappropriate is her! Run

Me too!!!! It is one of my favourite pictures! And at 34, I still have the most wonderful relationship with my dad. My husband thinks it is lovely how close we are and hopes that he has as fantastic a relationship with our daughter as she grows. Sorry OP but your partner sounds at best jealous and at worse like she is trying to drive a wedge. My dad had a girlfriend like this who hated him being so involved in mine and my sister’s lives…. Notice the use of ‘had’.

Sounds like a normal loving relationship you have with your DD. Your partner’s reaction is unusual, sad and doesn’t bode well for the future.

she is relaxed and safe in his company.

exactly as it should be

Completely normal. Her reaction is utterly ridiculous. One of my favourite pictures of my Dead Dad and me was me sitting on his lap aged around 18 probably.

I sit on my dads knees and I'm 28!

Get rid. She's fucking weird.

I ment to say there could be something in your Partners background the way she was brought up or her past,
Gives her the visceral Ick feeling at the sight of you being affectionate to your daughter

I think your Partner could / or got some serious issue /issues that are unresolved,

The real issue here is it going to make you feel uncomfortable or Arkward to feel yourselves in your own home @RedFlags1

For your own Sake
I think you need to seriously Consirder is this the kind of relationship or Partner I want in my life and my children's lives too@RedFlags1

It can be disgusting if a older male relative makes young women sit on his knee and gets a sexual thrill from it. Many women have this kind of trauma in their history. It is possible she finds it 'triggering' but more likely she has half understood stories of other people's abuse and that's why she can't tell the difference.

Clearly hugging cuddling (even in a chair) sharing settees etc is normal and affectionate behaviour between you and your daughters.

I would consider changing the girlfriend rather than stopping showing affection to your daughters

Jealous for sure she wants to be the total centre of attention.

My DD is only 14, but the same size as me and often lies on the sofa and cuddles my DH - well, uses him as a pillow! He’s pretty cuddly and she is relaxed and safe in his company.

Caveat though, my mum has extreme anxiety about everything and anything under the sun. She could've read cases of men molesting their daughters, got it into her head as another thing to be neurotic about, and although that worry is now no longer applicable as I'm grown up, is suffering from its hangover impact.

So it could just be a paranoia thing rather than a childhood sexual abuse thing on your partner's part.

Or maybe your partner frequently watches porn, or has come across it to a large extent. The whole sexualisation of teenagers, or even daddy and daughter thing is a big thing in porn, I think...

Sick? Faint? What a load of melodramatic nonsense. I have a picture of me sitting on my dad’s knee when I was 18. He was probably in agony 😀

Knee is OK but lap is weird for obvious reasons.

My dad likes to give me a kiss (not a quick one, more of a smooch) on my head and my mum gets really disgusted by that as apparently it's not done with adult children... But when I was young she used to frequently ask me if my dad had molested me (which really messed me up). For the longest time I was absolutely convinced she underwent CSA or something, but I do believe her now that that's not the case. So really not sure why. She's quite affectionate herself.

Hi Op
Even though I didn't grow up in a particulars affection demonstrative family background,

I think your Partner attitude is slightly quirky

What you described I dont see anything weird

I think your daughter is getting a bit too old for hug on the knee at 16 yrs

That could be just way I brought up,

I think there could be , something in her background way she has been brought up or something in her past

Don't let it affect your lovely relationship with your daughter,

Also rember the fact she your daughter has a good strong healthy loving relationship with you her Dad

Is a real good thing,

Cause of this your daughter when she starts to date,
She will have a higher self cofindence about herself,
So she will less likely put up with any boys , who are Arseholes types,

This obviously includes when she is grown up and she dates men too

Be proud of that

As obviously you are her primary role model of what she should or shouldn't put up in any Relationship, @RedFlags1

One day when she gets engaged and married..

You will be able to breath a sigh of relief,

That by being the way you just Are

Your future Son in Law will be one of the good guys in this life,
Like the way you sound @RedFlags1 too

When you see your Quirky slightly Odd Partner

Please 🙏 tell her what i said to you on this mumsnet thread too

It be quite interesting and telling what she 🤔 about my comments here too

This also made me wonder if your partner had a traumatic experience growing up.

Not disgusting at all. Really sweet.

I’d be wondering , though, whether there’s some sort of abuse in yourDP’s past that has made her overreact in this way.

Ok that last bit cannot be serious??????? 🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢