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Original poster

16 Year Old Daughter sat on fathers knee. Disgusting?

464 replies

RedFlags1 · 11/04/2023 15:12

It was my birthday last month and I went round to my new partners house for a meal with my two daughters.

After dinner I sat in an arm chair in the sitting room and my 16 year old came in and sat on my knee and gave me a hug and said Happy Birthday Dad. She was on my knee for about 30 seconds.

My partner was moody all evening and then shocked me by saying that this was because my daughter had sat on my knee. She said that this was abnormal and disgusting, that she thought it completely inappropriate for an adult woman to sit on my knee.

She went on to say that this made her feel sick and about to faint.

I am stunned by this reaction to something that I see as completely natural and not at all controversial.

At home I will often sit on the sofa next to my girls (16, 20+, 20+++) and put my arm around them. I have never for one second thought this inappropriate, nor have they.

Can I ask, does anyone think that it is inappropriate behaviour or disgusting?

OP posts:
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Jochef · 02/04/2024 14:12

TheFormidableMrsC · 01/04/2024 11:31

What a weird comment. People come to this site every day for relationship advice. Fortunately the OP listened. What is odd about that?

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It’s not a weird comment, it’s my opinion.

Jochef · 02/04/2024 14:11

changeme4this · 01/04/2024 19:01

My first thought was it was the woman involved. Which is likely seeing OP showed her the post…

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I agree - it’s all too ‘wordy’ for a man…..

changeme4this · 01/04/2024 19:01

TheFormidableMrsC · 01/04/2024 11:31

What a weird comment. People come to this site every day for relationship advice. Fortunately the OP listened. What is odd about that?

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My first thought was it was the woman involved. Which is likely seeing OP showed her the post…

StormingNorman · 01/04/2024 11:36

Your partner is making something natural into something dirty. It’s because she’s jealous. I had this with my own SM. She thought it was inappropriate that I held my dad’s hand walking down the street when I was 12. I don’t think it’s that unusual for new partners to vie with daughters to be the main woman in your life…all this is only in her mind of course! Your daughter only wants the same relationship she’s always had with you.

TheFormidableMrsC · 01/04/2024 11:31

Jochef · 31/03/2024 17:25

I’m not convinced about any of it.
None of it ‘sits’ right

I don’t know why you would follow strangers advice about a relationship. Surely family or/and friends would be your first choice. Even the OP name is odd. Red Flag 🚩 sounds like a female talking too. Just my opinion, we are all allowed one.

What a weird comment. People come to this site every day for relationship advice. Fortunately the OP listened. What is odd about that?

SandyY2K · 01/04/2024 02:17

Glad to read that the relationship is over now.

I find a lot of men hang on to women, who are jealous and have issues with their kids. This often causes a breakdown in the dad's relationship with their kids.

Zfactorstar · 31/03/2024 23:50

KnackeredandWiser · 31/03/2024 23:09

She's a fucking weirdo. I'm 56 and my lovely Dad died when I was 23. I would give anything to sit on his knee again and to be able to hug him and to tell him how much I love him.

I'm a total daddies girl and I'm in my 40s. He's still around but I know I'll be devastated when he passes.

KnackeredandWiser · 31/03/2024 23:09

She's a fucking weirdo. I'm 56 and my lovely Dad died when I was 23. I would give anything to sit on his knee again and to be able to hug him and to tell him how much I love him.

rooftopbird · 31/03/2024 22:45

This is very weird, she's clearly jealous of your 16 year old daughter and is reacting as though she's a sexual rival. Your daughter is a child, not a woman.

I'd be out of there permanently.

Jochef · 31/03/2024 17:25

I’m not convinced about any of it.
None of it ‘sits’ right

I don’t know why you would follow strangers advice about a relationship. Surely family or/and friends would be your first choice. Even the OP name is odd. Red Flag 🚩 sounds like a female talking too. Just my opinion, we are all allowed one.

TwoShades1 · 30/03/2024 06:25

Seems very normal to me! I would love to sit on my dad’s knee (I’m 33) but he passed away nearly 3 years ago.

lul1 · 30/03/2024 06:20

I've never sat on my dad's knee ever or even hugged him. But I can see our youngest dd sitting like that with her dad at 16. She's 12 now. 14 dd not so much.

changeme4this · 30/03/2024 06:09

RedFlags1 · 30/03/2024 05:23

One of the comments was to the effect of "if you haven't already left her, what is wrong with you"
I kept returning to that thought often in recent months and am relieved that she is now out of my life, and out of my family's. I do wonder why I clung onto the relationship for so long in the hope of changing her, when it was obvious she'd not change.

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I think you have done the right thing. No woman in her right mind would question your love for your children including hugs and physical presence in their lives.

our Dd is at home this weekend and I managed a big kiss on her head and a hug. No one is above receiving a Huge at any age.

bubblesforbreakfast · 30/03/2024 06:07

There is something wrong about the way she has been triggered here. Either she is weirdly jealous, or there is past experiences in her life which make this behaviour seem wrong to her

Original poster
RedFlags1 · 30/03/2024 05:23

changeme4this · 28/03/2024 21:24

It’s great that you felt comfortable in reaching out for advice as well!

(esp. to a bunch of internet trolls with nothing better to do…) 😂😂😂

One of the comments was to the effect of "if you haven't already left her, what is wrong with you"
I kept returning to that thought often in recent months and am relieved that she is now out of my life, and out of my family's. I do wonder why I clung onto the relationship for so long in the hope of changing her, when it was obvious she'd not change.

OP posts:
changeme4this · 28/03/2024 21:24

It’s great that you felt comfortable in reaching out for advice as well!

(esp. to a bunch of internet trolls with nothing better to do…) 😂😂😂

Katemax82 · 28/03/2024 18:29

That's fucking pathetic tbh. Worse than my husband moaning about my 18 year son (also his son) laying his head on my lap with a cushion under. Your daughter is not some random other woman. If my dad were still alive I would do the same

howdoesatoastermaketoast · 28/03/2024 18:13

RedFlags1 · 28/03/2024 07:39

I am put in mind of the quote "When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time."

it's far easier to say than do but it is exceedingly good advice for us all I think

MumTeacherofMany · 28/03/2024 17:33

Her reaction is concerning

CustardySergeant · 28/03/2024 15:35

Universalsnail · 28/03/2024 14:50

I would end this relationship. She's jealous of your daughter. It won't go well.

He has ended the relationship. Read the OP's post at 07.34 today.

glowfrog · 28/03/2024 15:05

@Universalsnail @Bumblebeeinatree worth reading the OP's update. In all honesty it sounds like his partner was some of narcissist and couldn't stand the idea of him having a close and loving relationship with anyone else.

Universalsnail · 28/03/2024 14:50

I would end this relationship. She's jealous of your daughter. It won't go well.

Bumblebeeinatree · 28/03/2024 14:44

I wondered if the partner had been abused by a close relative at that sort of age and was getting flash backs, it does seem like a huge over-reaction otherwise.

TheFormidableMrsC · 28/03/2024 14:29

Well done OP. I truly wish my ex husband had been like a you and not so damned weak. Because of a jealous and controlling OW, my son no longer has a father. Well done for standing up for your girls, especially the youngest. She will learn a lot from that as she grows. Your lunatic ex can get to fuck.

enchantedsquirrelwood · 28/03/2024 11:52

Good to see you put your daughters first OP and all the best for the future.