Don't want to do nude selfies for my DH

I was thinking this too

You need to speak to another solicitor OP.

Tell him to fuck off and if he asks for one more photo, you'll be blocking him on your phone for a bit.

Someone correct me if I'm wrong with this, but coercive control wasn't actually illegal back in 2016 when you first got legal advice? The advice you get now may be very different...

Oh fuck me. Get out of there.

You need more ( better ) advice, see a different solicitor.
I'd rather pay a lump sum over monthly spousal support but would still rather that than get texts like he sends, honestly made me gip, who does he think he is? 🤢

You only get one life. It isn't worth it. Get rid and see a different solicitor.

Spousal maintenance isn't awarded unless you earn a fuck tonne of money op. You may get awarded a lower % of marital assets in a divorce if you are the main earner, but he will also be expected to claim full benefits (and work on top if able to do something/anything to increase his income)

Get a different solicitor.

No more nudes.

Ltb.

Get better legal advice - the kids are older now as well

Not to add negativity to the situation, but before you action anything you may want to try and delete any photos he has of you stored on his personal devices.
He sounds like the type to use those against you if things don't go his way

I'm not a lawyer but surely you wouldn't be legally obligated to support him forever? At worst, you'd be obligated to support his household IF he had custody of the children but only whilst the kids were dependants.

I mean, cmon now, that’s as eugh as it gets. I have no words. 🤮

Nobody has to pay for life! Even when Jerry Hall got a divorce from Rupert Murdoch she got a lump sum. I wonder whether that's what you were most frightened of and that's what you thought you'd heard the solicitor say?

Go back to another solicitor. If possible, take a friend with you. This really isn't going to be the advice that you're going to be given, but you have to pay him forever.

I’d go to another solicitor. See if you can offer him a generous package for a clean break to get him to fuck off. I really don’t think these are common and wouldn’t he have to demonstrate that he’s been contributing to family life in some way wouldn’t he? I’m not a lawyer though so no idea. But definitely get a new solicitor. Are you very wealthy and thats why your lawyer thinks you will have to cough up?

What..!! Why would you do something you don't like doing?

What the fuck have I just read!!?

Whatever happens do NOT send him any more nude pics, you can’t even trust what he’s doing with them?

If you get the opportunity I would get his phone and have a look and make sure he isn’t sending them anywhere online and also delete anything he has stored.

Then LEAVE THE FUCKING BASTARD

Explore this maintenance thing again and even if you did have to do that, surely it would be less than you are contributing to the joint household now???

He is a nasty little man and does not deserve a second more of your precious life.

You could potentially have a police case for coercive control if you have evidence.

Echoing what others have said about seeing another solicitor.
Also keep your resolve to not send him pictures because you and I know that of you do manage to leave him, these photos will be shared far and wide

See a new solicitor. PM me for a recommendation (I am not a lawyer, but my divorce lawyer was excellent and I stupidly ignored some of her advice, wish I’d taken it now).
Start to document when he asks for things and his reactions when you say no, and keep saying no.

You need a much better solicitor.

Also do see another solicitor or see if the Rights of Women website has some sensible info on the legalities of the financial side.

I'd be worried about what he's doing/done with the photos. Is he sharing them online?

So if you leave you’ll be financially obligated to him. But if you don’t leave you’ll still be financially obligated to him and have to send him sexy photos against your will. It really does seem like leaving would be the better option. Even if you have to give him money, consider it your future happiness tax?

It definitely is a thing, MIL was granted a financial order which includes spousal maintenance at the beginning of this year. However, it's only likely to be explored as a last option. Do you own property/other assets jointly?

This is your one life.
It's not the same but I'm left paying thousands in debt that's not mine, it's my exes. I used to be so stressed about it but you know what if the price is freedom it's cheap.
He was an abusive prick, as Is yours. Try a new solicitor
Get rid and live again

I don’t think that’s true about you supporting him forever-maintenance for spouses is not really a thing anymore

You'd have to be earning a fortune to be paying spousal maintenance - it's very unusual to see spousal maintenance paid these days unless you're a very very high earner and even then it's unlikely to be for life. I'd be visiting a new solicitor for advice tbh. But even if you did have to pay sone maintenance, is that not a price worth paying? This is no way to live.