Don't want to do nude selfies for my DH

Given he is a dependant you'll have to contribute to lifelong care and these costs will only go up !

Don’t do this! You can end up in a whole lot of bother. Be the squeaky clean one! Tit for tat is not the right way to go.

OMG def no more pictures, how can you be sure he won’t be posting them on the internet or possibly even selling them? And make sure this is brought up in your divorce somehow so he’s told anything he already has needs deleting. Or better still sneak his phone and delete them.

definitely see another solicitor and get rid. Run OP! 💐💐💐

Honestly OP, you know this is disgusting.

Yes, you may have to pay some spousal maintenance if your income is such that you can easily house and provide for yourself and the DC and have loads left over, also depending on the severity of his disabilities.

But wouldn’t that be preferable to living like this? What’s the price of your self esteem?

Just remember: if your relationship further deteriorates, those pictures will end up on the internet.
NEVER, EVER send anyone nude pictures of yourself.

As has been said, try and delete any that he may already have, though if he does use them against you, then the revenge porn laws are pretty robust now.

I've come across this "maintenance for the partner" lark myself and I avoided it thankfully but I had to pay out a lot by other means. I think next lifetime I would quit my job and go on the dole and then divorce him and watch him try and get maintenance.... then I'd get another job when everything was signed and sealed.

You’re already supporting him if he’s living in a house you are financing because he can’t work, surely even if you did have to pay spousal maintenance it would be better than what you’re doing now? A small financial burden would surely be better than the emotional burden of being pestered and coerced into sexual activity (whether physical or virtual) you don’t want?

Go and see another solicitor he sounds Revolting

You are Not obliged to support him that is what PIP is for If he's disabled and can't work this was poor advice.

You need to leave him this is not normal behaviour

Say you will send some if he sends some of him to you first then get him to do some unflattering poses then dont send him any so he can't blackmail you with photos as you have some of him too

Don't divorce if you don't want to (although your legal options are worth re-exploring).

Just live apart together and separate all your finances apart from the essentials.

Stop talking to him, having sex with him, sexting him. Just ignore him and get on with life.

You're not in a relationship. You have a dependent. And you need to get rid.

Your DH is gross. What does he do, just sit at home waiting for you to send you nudes while you’re on your commute to work and support his arse?! What the fuck?! I am enraged and disgusted on your behalf. LTB.

My Uncle divorced in 1989. His wife couldn't work due to health reasons. She never remarried or met/ lived with anyone else.They didn't have children and he never saw her again after the divorce. Because of this,he had to pay maintenance to her up to the day he died on February 12th this year. He was 89 years old and we worked out that he'd paid her nearly £40k over the years. In the 1990s he had 2 heart attacks and became unable to work so he went back to court to see if he could stop paying- he was then on DLA- and they refused. He'd remarried by then and took on his second wife's children but he still had to pay maintenance for his first wife.

This. You need to take charge here.

Please don't waste more of your life with this abusive clod.

What is the nature of his disability?

I would categorically tell him there wont be any more pictures, ever. You mentioned other coercive stuff too? That stops immediately as well. You arent his sex slave.

He needs to be told very clearly that if he sends those pics anywhere you will contact the police.
What a disgusting man.
Just get rid- I’d do it even if it cost me a bit. He’s a sex pest.

Block his messages. If he wants to speak to you he will have to call.

If you’re the only one working now, you’re supporting him anyway. So would you rather divorce with a risk of paying spousal maintenance or stay married, carry on supporting him financially and keep having to deal with him being sexually coercive?

Exactly. That would account for the constant pressure - he gets status from showing what he can make you do.

So, from now, today, no more sexting, no more photographs.

Do you sleep in separate rooms? Now is the time to go for that.

Search thoroughly for hidden spyware in your home.

Find out if his behaviour is illegal. Find out what he's doing that you don't know about eg the sharing. - Oh, someone has posted about coercive control. There you go.

No more pictures.
See another lawyer.
Buy him a ticket to Madrid to the Prado Museum to view works of Peter Paul Rubens - he might stay in Spain.

The court WANTS clean breaks! The court pushes hard for this. You choose ‘clean break’ on the form A when you’re filing for a financial settlement. I am divorcing and I self rep, by the way. You don’t need to pay a solicitor to tell you the bleeding obvious.
Divorce him. And set boundaries!! No wait, let me change that to congratulate yourself and celebrate setting boundaries around this horrible issue for the very first time! You did that! You rule! That’s fucking huge OP. 👏👏👏
Next stop: Divorce.
Listen to some podcasts. Stowe solicitors does a good one on Spotify. Karen Walker too. She does one on divorcing narcissists which is helpful for anyone who’s experienced any form of coercion. Just learn everything you can via podcasts (you may not need to spend as much on solicitors).

Look at it this way OP. If someone said to you, pay £500 a month and be rid of this horrible man forever, I bet you'd rip their arm off for the offer!

As @JKTrolling has pointed out, you are already paying for him. At least if you divorce you get the benefit of not having to live with him and be pestered constantly about sex.

You only get one life,

Why waste it on him,

Even if you do have to pay something in spousal maitence it be worth it to get shot of Manipulative abusive Prick of Arsehole Husband

You Need a different solicitor who specialises in this type of thing Separtion rights ect

He could use any intimate photo as a weapon or how would you know where they could end up,

This is classic abusive control

He sounds fucking AWFUL! Boke.

What kind of support do you think you have to give him when you leave?

You are ‘supporting’ him whether you stay or go. I’d go and let him look after himself. I doubt he’ll find another woman willing to send him nudes!