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Original poster

DH took woman's number

137 replies

stripytiger09 · 27/03/2023 00:21

Am I being overly dramatic?
DH went out with work colleagues this afternoon to watch the football and have a meal, and then went to the local pub when he got back for one final beer while I was travelling back from seeing family.
He was pretty drunk when he got home, told me a bit about his evening with his colleagues and then fell asleep on the sofa.
He's lied to me previously about stuff but he's never cheated. I had a weird gut feeling, something was off, so I decided to have a look at his phone. Nothing untoward aside from a phone number in the Notes section with a woman's name, time stamped at the time he was at the local pub this evening.
What am I meant to do with this info? Confront him? If I confront him then I'm telling him I looked at his phone, which I'm now severely regretting!!

OP posts:
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Rosietheravisher · 07/07/2023 23:01

Ffs I keep posting on dead threads…

Rosietheravisher · 07/07/2023 22:58

TheObstinateHeadstrongGirl · 27/03/2023 00:50

It’s not irrelevant what’s on the phone. He’s cheating on OP.

She snooped for a reason and thank god she did - so weird you think that’s worse than cheating. Have you cheated and got caught out and done that “OMG you’ve invaded my pRIvaCy” nonsense that cheater alive to do to gaslight their poor other halves?

If he’s cheating why did he just get the woman’s number tonight? Surely he’d already have the number?

Regholdsworthswaterbed · 03/06/2023 10:58

snitzelvoncrumb · 27/03/2023 00:26

I would change the number to one of my friends numbers and see if he contacts her.

What a woman! That's genius 👏

Cantthinkof1rightnow · 03/06/2023 10:43

@stripytiger09 did you speak to your dh? What was the outcome?

YukoandHiro · 28/03/2023 23:29

@Barleysugar86 In your situation I would have at least checked the expiry date to check that story was accurate

Anonymoususe · 28/03/2023 23:23

Add the number to your saved contacts then you can check the WhatsApp profile picture?

eastegg · 28/03/2023 23:03

Sux2buthen · 27/03/2023 01:56

@Barleysugar86 exactly. Your story reminds me of the time I came home and found my partner in bed with the lady next door. Her boiler had broken and she then fell into her pond and got very cold. DH immediately got her into bed and they shared body heat as any good neighbour would.
As soon as they'd finished dressing we all had a good laugh.

Grin

😂

OhcantthInkofaname · 28/03/2023 19:57

stripytiger09 · 27/03/2023 00:28

Thanks for a bit of solidarity! Was thinking I may get jumped on for snooping.

I changed one digit when I saw the number, but now worried that if I've jumped to the wrong conclusion and it's actually an important phone number then I've cocked something up! Oh lordie, I'm in a spiral!

I would have changed the name to George.

helpplease01 · 28/03/2023 19:43

I would change the number to one of my friends numbers and see if he contacts her.

Do this!

Missingpop · 28/03/2023 19:36

Delete it you daft mare; he’s not going to remember where he stored it he will just think he did save it properly without it he can’t call her; just check he’s not already called the number if he has block it & delete it if he hasn’t briefly call it then block it & delete don’t let it ring though just let it register;

C1N1C · 28/03/2023 19:04

This is where we find out she gave him the wrong number with one digit changed, and you just changed it back 😀

Jack80 · 28/03/2023 18:49

I would have took a pic of the number and texted them off my phone and seen who it was

Tratjymp · 28/03/2023 09:37

Tirrrrred · 27/03/2023 18:19

@Tratjymp I assumed the poster wasn't being sarcastic? Was she not?

Quite possibly a joke yes, but things like that do happen. At least so I've heard...

Ebony69 · 28/03/2023 08:53

Callmenat · 27/03/2023 10:16

Woman goes to pub and gets drunk. Male partner of woman goes through her phone finding the name of another man saved as a note. The man changes the number to his mate's as an elaborate trap. All his mates congratulate him on his sneakiness.

Sounds weird doesn't it............

This 💯

Tirrrrred · 28/03/2023 08:31

Tirrrrred · 27/03/2023 18:19

@Tratjymp I assumed the poster wasn't being sarcastic? Was she not?

WAS

Singularity82 · 28/03/2023 08:15

Any update op? Hope you’re ok

Tirrrrred · 27/03/2023 18:19

@Tratjymp I assumed the poster wasn't being sarcastic? Was she not?

Trez1510 · 27/03/2023 18:10

BellePeppa · 27/03/2023 14:22

The phone isn’t locked (or OP knows the pin) so in that respect her DH doesn’t appear to be keeping his phone private?

Possibly because, like me and millions of others, he has an expectation of privacy and trusts his partner to not snoop?

My phone has no PIN, but if my partner breached my/my friends' privacy by snooping on my phone it would be the end of us. Likewise, I would expect to be dumped if I ever snooped on my partner whether that was his phone, laptop or post.

Trust is the bedrock of any functioning/healthy relationshp, imo.

Tratjymp · 27/03/2023 14:59

I had fun with my hubby the other day when I came home from work to find an open/ empty condom wrapper on his floor (we haven't used them for nearly a year as ttc). He just laughed and said it had been in the side pocket of the bag he'd emptied out on his bed that day to use for the first time in ages.

How did he explain it still being oily?

BellePeppa · 27/03/2023 14:22

The phone isn’t locked (or OP knows the pin) so in that respect her DH doesn’t appear to be keeping his phone private?

BellePeppa · 27/03/2023 14:20

Famousinlove · 27/03/2023 12:07

To all of the people asking why OP looked in the notes section..
Do you have a smart phone? Are you aware that you can look at all of the open apps which show in order of last used?

I do have a smart phone but I didn’t know that.

MsDogLady · 27/03/2023 13:23

Have you learned any more about it, @stripytiger09?

Itsbytheby · 27/03/2023 13:16

I cannot imagine check DH's phone while he was sleeping off a boozy night. I also would never even think of checking notes. I too wonder if there is more too this because this doesn't strike me as a usual thing to do in a trusting relationship.

Trez1510 · 27/03/2023 13:15

Puppers · 27/03/2023 10:50

DH and I know the passcodes to each others' phones and often use them (to reply to texts while the other is driving, to look at pictures they took of the kids that day, to use the calculator or calendar because our own phone is on charge in the other room, to look on notes for the measurements I've saved for the new kitchen etc). I don't have anything on my phone that would be problematic for DH to see and I have no reason to suspect that he has anything weird on his. But I would feel very much like a line had been crossed if he started going through my messages with friends for example, or trawling through my notes with no reason. I'm a person in my own right and I'm allowed to have private thoughts and conversations, regardless of how mundane they may be. I afford him the same respect in return.

Show quote history

Absolutely this. The issue is trust i.e. we trust our partners to be faithful. Once we start snooping it shows we have our own trust and/or esteem issues.

I have messages on my phone from people who have told me things, not me and my partner.

So, if even for that reason only, I'd feel betrayed by my partner snooping and, by default, me betraying my friend's trust.

redskylight · 27/03/2023 12:40

serialthreadkiller · 27/03/2023 12:12

If this were the case with the number, surely he would have told Op that he had met someone in the pub that might be a suitable new cleaner? People are glossing over the fact that he was extremely silent over the time spent in the pub and yet verbose about the rest of the day. That's why she was suspicious.

Show quote history

People are not robots.

I went out on a night recently and bumped into someone DH used to work with (I also knew her very slightly). She said she'd love to catch up with him and gave me her number to pass on.

It wasn't until 3 days later that I remembered this encounter. And yes, I'd spoken to DH about many other subjects in the interim.

Am I also the only person on this thread who's had someone insist that you take their number despite your many protests and in the end you just take it to get rid of them?

I've had partners who distrusted me for pretty much leaving the house. If they'd started going through my phone on a hunch, I'd be leaving them.