Neighbour rang the police on us!

The only time I've ever screamed and shouted at DH was when I found a pigeon flapping about and dive bombing me in the bedroom.
Birds indoors terrify me and I thundered down stairs shouting at him to get it out. Ran outside and concerned neighbours were by front door about to rush in and save me!

Lovely!! If you read the post you would see the reply from the OP explaining she has dyslexia.

Mumsnet the place you come to for support and get judgement.

I'd rather have an argument with my husband and explain to my kids that life's not all sunshine and roses, than seeth quietly and take my frustration out on a stranger on the internet.
Judgement is so easy from behind your screen.

Mumsnet
Our aim is to:
Make parents' lives easier by pooling knowledge, advice and support.

Should change this to
Our aim is to:
Make parents' lives harder by being superior, harsh judgement and no support.

I’m curious - why is a hot tub unreasonable???!

What a horrible post

Op. Instead of keeping up the aggression just go round and say you’re sorry you both disturbed her. I understand you’re tired but not everything needs to be a fight.

of course standing shouting at each other when small kids in rhe house for ten mins isn’t ok . Don’t make it her fault and then have a go.

I hope things start to get easier for both of you. You need to start to come up with a plan where you can sleep. So ear plugs, take it in turns etc .

the AIBU is about the police being called - not that the OP and her DH are tired and their baby is a bad sleeper.

So was the neighbour being U to call the police when she heard a 10 minute screaming match and a baby crying? no she wasn't.

Does she have form for calling the police for "trivial" things? we can't judge, OP seems to think so. So possibly the neighbour is BU but i don't think so.

OP has a hot tub- VVVVU (sorry, OP, that's just how it is)

on to the reason for the screaming match: OP you need help that is for sure, is there any way you and DH can "tag team" in the day to sleep/play with the baby? Can you reduce your working for the business hours to entertain the baby more and take pressure off DH that way? (or, since I'm a modern type of gal: perhaps your DH could do that)

I hope it all calms down soon, OP

@Lonelymum27 you should know that neighbours with close proximity gardens, like new builds, hate hot tubs too.

Her motivations don't change the fact of your behaviour.

Shouting rows are not good for anybody, especially DC.

'Nutter' calling the police on people who are either behaving anti socially or at genuine risk of harm? Yes, the neighbours the problem...

She didn't know why you were shouting.
As PP said, if you'd been having seven bells knocked out of you you'd have been glad of her intervention.

Whether she was right or wrong to have called the police about the other couple has nothing to do with that fact. You are conflating the 2 events to try to reduce your own part in it because you are embarrassed.

Going round to hers this morning won't relieve that embarrassment.
Try resolving arguments without shouting at each other.
If your neighbour could hear you, god knows what DS was feeling about mummy & daddy losing it with each other.

It is striking that you so often read people say on Mumsnet they’ve never argued with their partner when out in the real world it’s considered to be completely normal, expected, healthy even. 🤷🏻

She probably could not hear every word of your arguement.
If the estate is full of screaming gimps, blimps and chimps yelling at all hours of the day and night, it needs a lot more people calling in that sort of inconsiderate behaviour.
As others had said if you or your children were being beaten up, abused you would presumably be grateful someone gave a care about it.

OP, you sound like that neighbour we’ve all had to suffer/endure at some point 🙄

So sorry that the majority of these comments are so mean OP☹️ You know your neighbour and your situation better than anyone commenting on this thread, please don’t feel worse by what has been said to you by strangers who have absolutely nothing better to do than to shut down a mom who is clearly going through a hard time, on a website made solely for parents to support one another. I hope the sleeping issue will improve quickly for all of you. As for the neighbour, don’t give her the time of day, it will make her worse. We’ve all experienced the busy body of the estate/street - if you haven’t it’s probably you.
Sending you lots of love x

ps can’t quite understand how buying a hot tub makes you a nightmare neighbour?! I would love one!

If the police blue lighted it around then the neighbour must have really bigged up what she heard.

Or OP is minimising with her '10 minute argument, we're fine', and it was really longer, louder, nastier. We have no way of knowing who is the more reliable narrator. OP identifies herself as desperately sleep deprived, which will affect perception as well as judgement.

my neighbours scream and shout every evening just about. But you can tell when he gets violent, because she screams differently. So i call the police.
Every. Bloody. Time.
Unfortunately, despite the bruises, black eyes and number of occasions that he gets carted off by the police, or one of them leaves in an ambulance, or how much the DCs cry at them she won't leave.

And i will continue to call the police every bloody time. Because 2 women a week are killed by a current or ex-partner. And I'm never going to apologise to anyone - least of all those two - for doing it.

If I had claimed those things were the same, you would have a point.

I think the OP got lost on her way to netmums. She won’t find much sympathy on mumsnet!

You had an argument that was loud enough for your neighbour to hear. Presumably it also sounded pretty intense for your neighbour to call the police. Just be glad she's looking out for you.

You said it far more eloquently than I could!

There’s arguing respectfully and there’s screaming at one another loud enough to traumatise a child and disturb the neighbours.

So you live in a new build, which you acknowledge has no sound proofing qualities so ‘you can hear everything’, and yet saw fit to have a screaming argument that you must have known your neighbour could hear? that’s rude for a start, no one wants to listen to that, not your neighbour and certainly not your children. Most of the population have experienced sleep deprivation at some point, I have a baby myself so I know how it feels… this wouldn’t have happened to me.

Use it as an opportunity to reflect on what you did to cause it and making positive changes in your life… and leave your neighbour in peace for goodness sake!

Not loudly enough for The Police to be called

That's true. We have to wait till they're grown up to fully see in what ways we screwed up.

That said, the options aren't yell at each other or never disagree.

The third option is to discuss an issue, exchange views, listen to one another and reach an agreement, compromise or agree to disagree! That is the best way you can teach your children how to 'argue'. You show them that people don't always agree and you show them how people deal with that. No shouting required and no sulking and passive aggressive manipulation either. Just healthy discourse.

(I was a hell of a shouter in my youth. I had to retrain myself!)