Neighbour rang the police on us!

I wish my neighbours had done it when I was married to my ex. He used to come home pissed and rant at me for over an hour sometimes, just constant abusive shouting.

I would always call the police now if I thought a neighbour was being abused.

Have a think about it ....

try laughing while you say it

Why would you call the police for a hot tub? I don't understand what the Crim is there? Annoying yes but are the police the right place for that?

Sometimes there are things wrong in people’s lives, unfortunately. The answer is not always to heap blame on them.

If people can't communicate without shouting then they've got something wrong with them.

I'd rather live next door to your neighbour than you.

Everything you have said so far screams it's my house I can do what I want. No consideration or respect for others around you, even when you admit that noise can be heard clearly by others.

It sounds like your neighbour has completely had enough. It's her I feel for.

If you go to speak to her it's an apology you should be giving.

It sounds like you're having a difficult time OP, might be a good idea to contact your HV and ask for help with DS's sleeping.

Also good to get in first and pre-empt a phone call or visit as police usually routinely contact social care HV & GP when they attend a "disturbance" if there are children present in the home.

Really glad you do call. I'd do the same.

How much, exactly, do you know about the OP’s life? You come across as a highly judgmental and unpleasant character.

Sure, OP might be struggling. Have you ever heard the saying ‘Never look down on someone unless you’re helping them up’?

I don't think you're being unreasonable. Unfortunately, crazy neighbours exist.

Ours has complained about our newborn baby crying and he texted me one morning claiming that our young son was shouting "No, no no" at his dad (in terror), followed by a loud bang and a shout, implying we were abusing our kids. In fact, our toddler was singing "Row, row, row your boat", and then our older son dropped his water bottle down the stairs and shouted to us 🙄

Before anyone says anything about us, he has also complained about our neighbour's kids (on the other side) playing football in the garden and the same neighbours watching samurai movies. We found this out because he was gaslighting us, claiming that he only heard us and couldn't hear our neighbours. We asked all our neighbours nearby about whether we were unusually noisy (we aren't).

So, basically, he is a total and utter moaning nuisance. They exist, sadly. The OP's neighbour may be one of them. Given the severity of some of the complaints he's come out with (e.g. implying we were assaulting our five year old), I am surprised he hasn't called the police!

10 minutes is a really long time to be shouting with children in the house loud enough to be heard by neighbours, 100%. The children didn't sleep through that either.

She doesn’t know that’s what you’re shouting about though 🙄

It sounds like you are really struggling to juggle everything at the moment. Maybe use the shock of this to kickstart any changes that are possible. I know it’s not your AIBU but you sound at the end of your tether.

Pp have suggested one of you concentrate on the business whilst one of you steps back from that to concentrate on the dc. Is that possible? Even for a few hours a day?

Sleep deprivation is awful, can you take shifts at night? One sleeps as soon as older dc are sorted and then takes over in the later part of the night?

Do you have any family who can give you a break? I didn’t have so understand not everyone does.

I think you are being naïve to think your older dcs slept through this, you say you were at the top of the stairs so I’m guessing outside their bedrooms. I think you need to talk to them and reassure them.

Ten minutes shouting at each other really isn’t normal, if you feel this brewing again can you walk away? Even go and sit in the car if you have one or something?

Our neighbours are usually fairly quiet, we hear the tv or music occasionally and when they hoover etc. A few weeks ago my teenage dc woke me to tell me she was worried because she could hear them arguing through the wall. I went into her room and they were screaming abuse at each other and she was crying. We were in two minds as to whether we should ring the police, in the end they stopped and we left it, but I “happened to” need to see if my parcel was there the next day so I could see her. Not to mention it but because I was worried and wanted to see she was alive. It really did sound that bad.

Your neighbour might be a nosy trouble maker or she might have been seriously concerned. I would call round and apologise and thank her for her concern, even if you have to stop yourself from saying what you really think of her. This might put her mind at rest if she is really concerned, and will throw her if she was trying to upset you so is a win win.

For all we know, the police blue-lit it there because their dispatcher could hear OP and husband through the neighbour's phone!

So if your husband was beating seven bells of hell out of you, or you were murdered or injured - which never, ever, happens to nice women living in new build houses who have MN accounts - that'd not be the neighbours business? Bottom line - if I can hear a violent argument going on next door, I am phoning the police (and have done in the past) and I don't care whether the two of you can't agree on the Eurovision entry or anything else. What you are arguing about isn't my concern. The casual ignoring of dometic violence in the country, until a woman is murdered or seriously injured when everybody wants to know why nothing was done about it, is my concern. If you don't want the police at your door, then keep it civil. It is not about being the neighbour from hell - it is about the fact that people need to stop ignoring domestic violence because it is none of their business.

• you’re. For the grammar police.

I've never had a shouting match with anybody, including my husband.

If I have an issue I'll talk to him about and if he disagrees we may have a more robust conversation but it has never, not once, devolved into shouting. What would that achieve?

I can hear normal conversations with all my neighbours side to side and above me when I am alone and at night. During the day with my daughter there is background noise so I only notice if they are loud. New build. London.
Sorry your tired and stressed OP I only have one child and am absolutely exhausted 90% of the time. Ignore the neighbour. I am sure you will try and be more quiet in future. Raising our voices happens.

I’m curious - why is a hot tub unreasonable???!

they're noisy, and often people have screamy shouty loud parties in them and disturb the neighbours. Are you new to MN 😁

tbh, I'm pretty live and let live, except that when my neighbours start fighting, I call the police. I live in hope that either he'll move out, or she'll leave him. It is a faint and probably vain hope. But i will not standby and have that going on next door to me without at least letting the police know. And there must be a tag on their address, because they often turn up while I'm still speaking to the police dispatcher.

YABU. You should be embarrassed and ashamed of yourself and I don't see any hint of that in your first few posts.

10 mins is ages.

It's taken me that to read this thread.

Why not go round and apologise for the racket and maybe you'll find she offers you a cupper and it'll be a whole lot of stress off your back.

I’m sorry you’re getting so much grief on here, OP — and that you’re not getting much sleep. My DH and I had some of our worst rows (often over nothing!) when our DD in particular was a baby, as she was a TERRIBLE sleeper. Lack of sleep is a nightmare, for all concerned. Hang on in there…

Personally, I wouldn’t confront your neighbour — unless she brings it up. As you’ve said, she’s called the police on others too, so this is something she clearly does, and I don’t think you’ll be able to say anything that will change her behaviour. Hopefully the police will get fed up of her soon.

I hope you have a better day today…

We’re not even at home all day unlike her. We had one little shouty argument on the night and I’m the neighbour from hell. Oh please

In your post about your recently started Amazon business you say that your baby cries all day long and is hell to deal with. Maybe your neighbour is at the end of her tether with that and the final straw was the row last night?