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AIBU?

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Original poster

Neighbour rang the police on us!

314 replies

Lonelymum27 · 20/03/2023 22:31

Miss busy body next door has just called the police on us! 10 minute argument and I went off upstairs to bed with DS. We’re both absolutely knackered DS isn’t sleeping so this has taking a toll on us and this is what caused the argument.

she’s rang the police on a few people on the estate before over nothing really,nothing I’d get worked up about.

police have just came banging down our doors and windows blue lights shouting police !gave us the shock of our lives left within minutes as they seen we was fine.

We feel absolutely humiliated now! AIBU to go round in the morning or should I just leave it?

OP posts:
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Queenfierce · 06/04/2024 16:50

I think your neighbour done the right thing and you shouldn't shout at each other infront of your child

Justsmileanwave · 06/04/2024 15:58

Hairyfairy01 · 06/04/2024 14:54

Are you ok justsmileanwave?

My neighbours argue constantly, screaming, shouting, swearing & smashing things up. We are expected to just ignore it and stay out of it when they wake us up at all hours and upset my kids.

Hairyfairy01 · 06/04/2024 14:54

Are you ok justsmileanwave?

Justsmileanwave · 06/04/2024 11:52

PinkButtercups · 20/03/2023 23:40

For them to come with their blues on they must've been pretty concerned.

Shouting is not okay and I'm sure you're aware of this now.

Everyone can have disagreements but shouting is crossing the line.
Especially in front of kids.

Hopefully you've learnt a lesson now but it's done. No point going round there she could see that as white intimidating.

Wish my neighbours would 😔😔

DreamTheMoors · 30/12/2023 23:24

Greenfairydust · 20/03/2023 23:35

Your neighbour has no idea of why you are shouting so loud.

You could be a victim of domestic violence for all she knows...and if you have a kid it is another reason for her to be concerned about what could be happening in your house.

What would you ''go around'' for? unless you are planning to apologise...

''When we got a new car and was selling our old one she told us to move it even though it wasnt effecting her. We bought a lazy spa hot tub in the summer she was slamming doors all day.''

Frankly, you sound like a nuisance/thoughtless neighbour.

You sound like that neighbour, honestly.
Always uppity, always peeking out the curtains, always gossiping and always looking down her nose at somebody else.

Check your own self out.

Whatsrightnow · 01/11/2023 20:29

Hi did social services come after? I'm just wondering as this happened to a friend of mine just recently.

Lifelessordinary1 · 23/03/2023 16:52

My neighbours called the local authority on me about the noise and i had a lovely chat with the LA people about the problem of serial complainers - if as you say she complains constantly about lots of people then the Police and others will know about her - and so will your neighbours who are presumably the people she has complained about before..

So they will all know what has happened and you will be able to have a good laugh about your mad neighbour.

DizzyLizzyKizzy · 23/03/2023 16:48

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Wow

nannykatherine · 23/03/2023 15:22

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Danielle9891 · 23/03/2023 13:16

I'd be honest if I heard the couple shouting next door to me and they had a small child, that could hear it all I'd call the police too.

Maybe go for a walk next time to calm down otherwise the police will probably tell your health visitor or get social services involved.

isitjustmey · 23/03/2023 10:08

Your neighbour did the right thing. She heard shouting and was concerned.

Honestly I feel sorry for your kid. It's gotta be hard for him hearing all the screaming and shouting.

We've had our fair share of sleep deprivation. Thank God we're on the other side of it now but shouting and screaming at each other doesn't solve a thing. It makes it worse. I would suggest you guys find other ways to communicate with each other. For the sake of your son, please stop, the both of you.

Heyhoitsme · 23/03/2023 08:22

The neighbour may have past experience of domestic abuse. She did right in my opinion. We've lived here 20 years and I have never heard any shouting. If I did I would be really alarmed and might call the police.

TinselTinsel · 22/03/2023 22:42

I wish my old neighbours had called the police when my ex was screaming and shouting at me. It was usually followed by him being violent so I would have been grateful, embarrassed but VERY VERY grateful.

Ketzele · 22/03/2023 22:34

Sleep deprivation is a horror and sent me as mad as badgers. But please don't have it out with her because you WILL have a screaming match and all your neighbours will think you are in fact the problem.

One day you will sleep again!

Noname77 · 22/03/2023 20:33

slimshadyfan · 20/03/2023 23:44

OP, i hope you are ok and that your baby is asleep now. My advice is to step away from this thread. If only we could all be as perfect as the previous posters? Wake up tomorrow after (hopefully) a good nights sleep and feel better.
Talk with you DH in the morning and promise each other that you won't give your neighbour a chance to meddle again.
There is a lot of snobbery on this thread and it is upsetting.
I only joined Mumsnet recently as I had a question to ask about my dog. I had so many wonderful and helpful responses.
Maybe stay away from AIBU in the future? It doesn't seem very nice to me, hope you are ok x

I totally agree. Name calling and eye rolling about them buying a hot tub. Who do people think they are. It’s fine to disagree, I think OP is being unreasonable to consider going to the neighbours door, but some of the comments on here are condescending and downright rude.

Crazycrazylady · 22/03/2023 19:48

Sorry op, you lost me at spa tubConfused

AllyArty · 22/03/2023 19:44

Call around and apologise and say nobody was hurt and u don’t want to fall out with her.

jmh740 · 22/03/2023 19:21

GrazingSheep · 20/03/2023 23:21

Do the police make an automatic referral to social services when they are called to sort out screaming and shouting in a house with a young child?

Yes

ellyeth · 22/03/2023 18:52

It's difficult to know whether an argument is becoming physical when you can't see what is happening. Perhaps this particular lady is either a busybody or someone who maybe has had experience herself or in her family of domestic abuse.

Surely it is better than the police are called if there is any suspicion that someone might get hurt. A friend I worked with said she would never call the police because it "wasn't her business" and "it's usually six of one and half a dozen of the other. I find that attitude more worrying.

Mumofthreeteenagers · 22/03/2023 18:26

ijustwannahaveagoodnight · 20/03/2023 22:59

Well stop bloody shouting loud enough to disturb your neighbours then. Ffs

This

Mandyjack · 22/03/2023 18:24

I would leave it TBH

GorgeousPizza · 22/03/2023 18:03

Toxic as hell and your username says it all.

cruisebaba1 · 22/03/2023 17:59

Lonelymum27 · 20/03/2023 23:00

We live in a new build so you can hear everything 😩

When we got a new car and was selling our old one she told us to move it even though it wasnt effecting her. We bought a lazy spa hot tub in the summer she was slamming doors all day.

I do sympathise though, we have a batshit neighbour, if someone over the road is doing maintenance on their house, she turns her music up! We have now cured her of this ( properties are detached) can’t wait to tell her we are selling up and moving to Spain!!!🤣🤣🤣🤣

TickyTacky · 22/03/2023 17:47

Yabu to want to go and deal with your neighbour, they did the right thing. Nobody ever helped when my mum was being abused, I wish they had.
But yanbu for having an argument while exhausted & stressed. It happens. I hope sleep gets better for you soon

CaribouCarafe · 21/03/2023 17:25

Sorry OP that you're going through a tough time but I agree with your neighbour on this one - it's not normal for people to shout at one another for 10 minutes, and there's no way they could tell with certainty that it wouldn't escalate. Imagine if in the heat of the moment one of you pushed the other down the stairs?

I've lived in apartments with thin walls for the past 10 years and have only heard couples shouting from the flats where I knew there was some level of domestic abuse. I called security each time and I don't regret it.

You may try and convince yourself that your children slept through your shouting match but I can pretty much guarantee they didn't - speaking as someone who had a shouty mother who used to bottle up all her rage and unleash it at my dad every night after we'd gone to bed. I heard everything and it was majorly unsettling.

My line in the sand in every relationship since is shouting - if someone raises their voice at me or makes me do the same to them then it's over. Been with my husband 9 years. Plenty of disagreements and heated discussions but we have never shouted at one another. Let alone for 10 minutes.

You need a strategy for getting some rest and once your sleep is sorted I think some level of couple therapy to identify better ways to express yourselves when you disagree for the sake of your kids (and your neighbours!)