Text to husband

It does seem a bit weird it’s the second time this has happened in two dif jobs, I’d want to know why he’s not putting a stop to it, why does he want you to meet her? Knowing you don’t want to. 🚩to me

@PEEDOFFFACE any up date?

Your Husband must be bloody gorgeous if he keeps having women throwing themselves at him, all without him encouraging it in the slightest.

show her how awkward it could be if you screenshot and sent to her husband with twice as many kisses!

Maybe you should agree to meet. Then say to her, my husband shows me all your messages. It's not something I'd do with a married man, how does your husband feel about it? And watch her body language and see how she responds. Yes, she may not be married but she will feel uncomfortable knowing he shares the messages, even if he doesn't. Maybe do this when you have a moment together without your husband.

Agreed.
If it's possible, I would definitely go!

🤣🤣🤣

Nah, she's taking the piss, knows he's married so it's you she's taking the piss out of. She sounds like she doesn't care for boundaries but your husband should be shutting her down ... down down!!! As for the hotel stay, are plus ones being invited? coz I'd be going and maybe having a quiet little word with the piss taker

You are not being unreasonable whatsoever. But the problem is him here -she might be crossing boundaries but it’s clear he’s not setting them, and from the previous situation it sounds like a pattern that he rather likes. Tell him to draw a clear line, it’s not okay that he can’t relate to a female colleague in a friendly way without keeping this flirty crap bouncing along. It’s wildly immature, and if it didn’t bother you then whatever, but since it does continuing to entertain it is disrespectful to you. She doesn’t get to use your husband for flirty entertainment, and he doesn’t get to pretend it’s nothing because it makes him feel good.

Unless your DH is 1990s George Clooney, then he is probably not as passive a partner in these two flirtatious relationships as he would have you believe.

How convenient that the first colleague happened to be a 'weirdo'.

He's flirting back and gaslighting you by telling u all about it and suggesting you all meet up (which is ludicrous). I think he is enjoying the attention from both of you

No you’re not because this is how affairs start with what people call “harmless flirting”. Your husband needs to tell these women to stop approaching him loud enough to embarrass them and make them go away unless he likes the attention and plans to do something unethical like violating his marriage vows. You say this woman is married too but “unhappily”, her own fault because I’m sure she never told her husband she was not happy and expected him to read her mind, you should inform her husband of what she’s doing with your husband because it’s called emotional cheating, send him the proof of the emotional affair and maybe insist on your husband either to block this woman on everything, which won’t really work because they still work together, or he leaves his job and finds another one or he informs HR and get her fired. If you don’t stop this now while it’s hopefully early then he’ll be having an affair with said co-worker.

She has crossed the line. I understand u don’t want to own up to snooping but her behaviour is not ok. And u need to do whatever it takes to stop her furthering her advances towards your husband.

Meeting her and her kids is a big fat no-no. She’s insinuating herself into your life and husband is going along with the program.

Tammy Wynette has entered the chat...

Your DH isn't shutting it down. So it sounds like he's enjoying the attention. I wouldn't be impressed if I were you OP and would be keeping a close eye on him.

One shouldn't strive and fight forever to save their marriage. But if you know you have done everything you can possibly do to keep your man and he still runs off with an adulterous bitchington, you know your conscious is clear.

However, just a few tweaks to improve your marriage may be all your husband needs to remember why he fell in love with you in the first place. Marriage is a commitment and people need to work at commitments to make them last.

Sure, sometimes it's only one partner who is doing all the work. I know this from experience. And by the time my husband (ex now) had figured it out and wanted to make the marriage work it was too late.

Don't flog a dead horse, but don't give up too easily either.

@Eowyn78 I like your take on it but it wouldn't work for me. I would let her have him as he's not worth having. Being married shouldn't be a struggle and having to be at the top of your game every day to keep your man. That's exhausting and if he's that way inclined he will cheat anyways because he knows you will forgive him and take him back. I'd rather be on my own that with someone like that.

I would treat it if the genders were reversed and if speaking to them does nothing then report it to HR. Just because he's a handsome man (must be by the sounds of it!) doesn't mean they should get like giddy schoolgirls. They need to get a grip and see he's happily married.

If you're the wife, he made a commitment to you. It's worth reminding him of that. Some marriages have turned around for the better when the wife has turned her husband's gaze back on her and taken action against any competition. It shows the husband that she still cares about him. That can be very attractive.

Why are people unfaithful? Because someone else has offered something they perceive is better. That other person may be speaking his love language, making him feel desired/wanted/needed. If his spouse is doing this then his eyes won't wander.

Alas, many marriages fail, but I think if one knows they did their utmost to salvage it, they played every card and it still didn't work, then their conscious is clear. It will be for the unfaithful partner to deal with the guilt and sin of not remaining faithful. And that's a horrible feeling to deal with.

@Eowyn78 I don't think it's that simple as fighting for it. You can fight as much as you want but if his head has already been turned you just end up embarrassing yourself being a pick me. I would not fight for someone who didn't want me or value our relationship less than a text message from some random.

It is the husband's problem. But if the wife doesn't do anything he will think it is okay to flirt with colleagues. I'm not saying it is fair. I am not saying it is right. But if you want your marriage to work you have to do everything to protect it, and then even if he ends up being unfaithful (which is utterly heart-breaking for his wife) then at least the wife knows she did everything in her power to protect her marriage. It's a small consolation, but when one has been utterly betrayed, having a clear conscious can help with the healing process. I speak from experience here.

My question is this (& has prob already been asked, but I’m not ploughing through 9 pages)- what the heck is she doing with your DH private phone no? He must have given it to her, surely. I think his behaviour seems as bad as hers, to be honest. Why would a man married to someone else start giving his number to another woman and presumably answer her texts? Where’s his loyalty to you? 🚩 definitely. He doesn’t seem to want to give her the big heave ho, that’s for sure.

@Eowyn78 spectacularly missing the point. Why should anyone need to turn his gaze? He shouldn't be looking or even want to look in the first place. This is a husband problem not another woman problem.

Challenge him, and turn his gaze from her, and slap her in the face. Well maybe not the last thing, but I have no respect for men or women who flirt with someone they know is married. Too many people have ruined marriages this way. Better to leave a job, than to risk destroying one's own marriage imo.