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AIBU?

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Original poster

Changing room etiquette

38 replies

mfbx5sf3 · 04/03/2023 09:29

I take my son to a swimming lesson on a Saturday morning. There are three large communal bays in the ladies and a clear sign that says children and boys can use only use bay 3 and the other two bays are adult only. Recently when we are getting changed after swimming a lady (late 60s/ early 70s) has started coming into the bay full of children, stripping off and standing in front of the large mirrors where the hairdryers are and blow dries her body head to toe. Literally dries her hair, lifts up her breasts to get underneath, dries her pubes and bends over to do down her legs. This means if you have small children and would like to dry their hair you need to position them next to the lady so they get quite the eye full. AIBU to think this isn’t really appropriate? There’s tons of room in the adult only bays (practically empty) and the third bay is always packed with all the children who have been in lessons. The mens room has a sign in their third bay asking only adults with children to use that bay during lessons. WIBU to ask for he same consideration in the ladies?

OP posts:
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ilovesooty · 15/01/2024 03:19

I imagine the OP has addressed the issue in the past 10 months.

LightDrizzle · 15/01/2024 02:42

Wafting your pubes in public with a hairdryer isn’t acceptable. I’d ask the management to put signs up.

Maybe she was a fan of Desperately Seeking Susan back in the day and decided to take it a step further.

delboy76 · 15/01/2024 02:37

You say on occasions she sometimes has other younger women with her. Do they do the same as her and come in naked to use the same drier? If yes, it could be as mentioned before, common practice from wherever her home country is. I have visited a few countries in my time mainly in Europe, not necessarily spas, but using the toilets sometimes can be a bit hairy. Often they're not labelled male or female, just toilets. Some larger ones have urinals and a couple of cubicles. And it has happened a few times to me when using the urinals that women have come in and used the cubicles. Some standing around waiting for a free cubicle or even looking in the mirror and adjusting their hair. All this going on whilst I'm still doing my business.

StrawberryJam4Ever · 04/03/2023 12:23

I suspect she’s a perve. But in saying that when my German neighbours mother used to visit her she’d do the gardening topless. I sort of admired the old bird in a way, but I was still 😳 to begin with.

Sharktopus · 04/03/2023 12:22

More like hinting at old age senility as an excuse as opposed to downright exhibitionism.

Yeah, because once women reach a certain age, they all go senile, right? Straight out of the ageist misanthropy playbook.

Paslaptis · 04/03/2023 12:20

I don't understand the horror of her drying her whole body with the communal hairsryer. It's energy inefficient and probably monopolises the dryer for longer when others may need to use it, but presumably she's not actually touching her body with the drier.

But yes, ask for sign for the women's. It seems to be common sense just based on crowd size that whoever can use the adults' during lesson time does use the adults'.

dinmin · 04/03/2023 12:19

Is it possible she can’t read English and therefore doesn’t realise that that bay is the kids one (I appreciate it’s not kids ONLY but you can’t move the kids to another whereas she can move there!)

M08my · 04/03/2023 12:13

Yanbu, drying between your legs with a communal hairdryer is v gross.

I also like being very dry but I sometimes use a spare flannel just for that and then it goes straight in the wash when I get home.

Definitely mention it to the staff so they can put a sign up saying hairdryers are for your head only.

Original poster
mfbx5sf3 · 04/03/2023 12:09

@Justtryandstaycalm75 they section off two lanes for the kids lessons and there are two lanes for adults to swim. There’s also jacuzzis and steam rooms etc that people can use and are around the pool.

OP posts:
AgnesX · 04/03/2023 12:09

Sharktopus · 04/03/2023 11:45

It's interesting that the two examples cited here both stress the age of the person - it's almost as if this thread was designed to illustrate the hatred and fear young women have of older women that's being talked about so much at the moment:

www.theguardian.com/books/2023/feb/27/hags-by-victoria-smith-review-welcome-to-the-age-of-rage

More like hinting at old age senility as an excuse as opposed to downright exhibitionism.

Justtryandstaycalm75 · 04/03/2023 12:06

mfbx5sf3 · 04/03/2023 11:57

@PlaitBilledDuckyPuss for these classes there are no parents in the water so it’s just the children changing.

So why are adults from the general public in there with the children's lesson?
I've never known that before.

PlaitBilledDuckyPuss · 04/03/2023 11:59

mfbx5sf3 · 04/03/2023 11:57

@PlaitBilledDuckyPuss for these classes there are no parents in the water so it’s just the children changing.

Got you. Yes, that is strange behaviour in that case.

Aftjbtibg · 04/03/2023 11:59

@Sharktopus there’s wrinkly old skin and then there’s someone bending over while naked….

Original poster
mfbx5sf3 · 04/03/2023 11:57

@PlaitBilledDuckyPuss for these classes there are no parents in the water so it’s just the children changing.

OP posts:
Aftjbtibg · 04/03/2023 11:57

Even without my kids there I’d feel that was yuck but totally inappropriate when there’s kids and you could do it away from them

Sharktopus · 04/03/2023 11:55

Oooh! Just noticed that she's probably foreign too - well, obviously, they're not like us, are they?

Sharktopus · 04/03/2023 11:53

Justtryandstaycalm75 · 04/03/2023 11:51

It could be that she is in the early stages of an illness that causes confusion.
I would say she needs help preserving her dignity as well as protecting the children.

Absolutely - children must be saved from seeing from old, wrinkly skin. mustn't they? Will no-one think of the children!

caramac04 · 04/03/2023 11:52

As a more mature woman I would not be subjecting children to my naked body. I wouldn’t have done so when I was young. I was open with dc when young but more discreet with dgc when we have had to share a changing room when they were very young.
Its great the woman is not ashamed of her body but I don’t think she should be drying herself the way she is, she should use her towel and be discreet.

Justtryandstaycalm75 · 04/03/2023 11:51

It could be that she is in the early stages of an illness that causes confusion.
I would say she needs help preserving her dignity as well as protecting the children.

PlaitBilledDuckyPuss · 04/03/2023 11:51

Am I right in thinking that parents/carers dry and change in this bay alongside their children, or is it only children who use it alongside parents who haven't been swimming?

Original poster
mfbx5sf3 · 04/03/2023 11:47

It’s not.

OP posts:
Sharktopus · 04/03/2023 11:45

It's interesting that the two examples cited here both stress the age of the person - it's almost as if this thread was designed to illustrate the hatred and fear young women have of older women that's being talked about so much at the moment:

www.theguardian.com/books/2023/feb/27/hags-by-victoria-smith-review-welcome-to-the-age-of-rage

KateAusten · 04/03/2023 11:44

Pass the sick bowl

Original poster
mfbx5sf3 · 04/03/2023 11:41

She has on occasion had two younger women with her (40sish) who I’m fairly sure are relatives. I don’t think they are from the UK (are not speaking in English) and I’ve wondered if they possible are from a country where you find a lot of spas where people are walking about naked. It’s not the nakedness/ blow drying itself that was really concerning me. Although I personally would prefer not to use a drier that had just been used to dry a strangers genitals. Mainly the close proximity to all the children when there’s no need to be/ their eye level is an unfortunate height! I just don’t think she wants to do the extra few steps to the next bay when she comes out the shower.

OP posts:
UndertheCedartree · 04/03/2023 11:23

It's strange that she doesn't want to use the sections with no children in. At my gym in the ladies there is 3 sections, one is marked adult only. I have to say it's not unusual to see people using the hair dryer to dry their whole body like you describe. I always use the family changing room when I have my DD with me as they have separate cubicles with a shower in.