Aggressive school mum

Adding to above- keep a record of everything so far and show the school. Email as well as speaking to them in person, as then its all on their records. Make sure its seen by the Head and your child’s teacher.

I would send a message to the parent clearly stating not to contact you again in any form (phone or in the playground) and you will be informing the school of their behaviour. Then block the number.

Oh god I am having the same thing with my 11 year old dd. Had a minor falling out with a friend yesterday, both girls were as bad as each other as far as I can tell, both sulked for a couple of hours but were best of friends again by the end of school. Total non-event, but culminated in passive aggressive mother texting the class WhatsApp to let everyone know that her daughter had been severely bullied by another pupil in school, and that she would be speaking to the teacher as she wouldn’t want any other child to have to go through what her daughter was subjected to 😱😱😱. Teacher has phoned and said she spoke to both girls and from her perspective it was just a normal disagreement and all resolved, but this mum is clearly a loon and won’t let it drop. Dd is at after-school club today but I’ll have to see the mum tomorrow and have no idea whether to avoid her, act normal or give her hell about publicly accusing my dd of bullying. I think probably shutting it down is best - girls will be girls, teacher has sorted it, come to me directly in future if there is a problem, etc. But I feel really awkward so you have my sympathies OP!!

I would call the school, tell them a full account and if she is using threatening behaviour towards you, I would be inclined to ask the school to make her wait outside the gates and her child be brought out to her. No one should be worried about picking up their children from school. I would also be asking the school to do their best to keep the boys apart (difficult but they can encourage mixing with others).

You are behaving like an adult, she is not. Keep your cool, especially in front to the children

I hope it goes okay op. I would be keeping my child a million miles away from a family that thought text bombardment is an appropriate response to any school issue.

The fact that the kids had a scrap is a non-issue from the fact that as they don’t get on, they are best just avoiding each other.

But the fact that a parent is bombarding you with texts (harassment) and you feel anxious about a possible altercation at the school gates is something the school should be made aware of.

This.

What exactly does she want? What is she saying in her message?

It doesn’t matter what she says you have to look calm, relaxed and neutral.

I would simply say: ‘ kids will be kids, if you are concerned speak to Ms (teacher)’ and leave it there, if she persists, continue with the same answer.

’ I agree with you they are not getting along at the moment, children usually work things out in the end’

’ You seem worried, if might be best to bring up with the school’

I would just say very neutral answers. Even if your child is the problem it’s always better to raise it with the school. Don’t apologise, feel you have to explain. Just bright and breezy and quietly block the psycho. Any mother sending multiple texts for days needs to have their anxiety levels checked.

This. It's why block function was invented.

I would print off the conversation and email the school with a copy attached and ask that the bogs are kept apart due to the mothers aggression. Add that you will be involving the police if it continues.

Make it formal.

Block her number and refuse to engage.

She is unhinged.

Should she approach you, contact 101 for advice.

Children can fall out, but this is neither normal nor acceptable.

Far better to meet it head on rather than avoiding and it escalating.

I wonder what it is she wants? She sounds like anything could set her off but I would probably ask her one time. "What is it that you want?"

I think that this is the best type of response to give.
Some people just like to cause aggro and it's best to just disengage.

I think schools have enough to deal with already without being dragged into policing parental interactions.

If she comes up to you, say politely but firmly "please stop harassing me".

I would inform the school or their class teacher of the situation, I’d even show them the text messages to help explain the situation.
I’d then inform the mum that I’ve shared my concerns with the school and explained the situation and the best plan of action as agreed by all is for the boys to play separately.
If she carries on after that I’d block her number and if she keeps harassing you I’d take it further.

I don't think it is a nonissue.
She is harassing you.
I think you should screenshot her texts and forward to the school so that its on record. Tell them you've spoken to your son but worry her silly attitude is doing nothing to calm the situation and will rub off on her son. The school needs to know and needs to resolve it in the classroom - so that you can say, the school is dealing with it.
We had one of these at our school, the kind of person who likes to pick a fight. I kept out of her way as much as possible.

The situation will calm down when she finds something new to complain about,

I like this response.

If she comes up to you in the schoolyard and raises it, say that. Try and be standing with your other mum friends - and DON'T talk about this to them, at least not there, chat about something else. If she does accost you, the other mums will think she is a looney. She will be embarrassing herself, not you.

Let your children see how you would like them to behave

Could you ask a friend to walk to / from school with you, for moral support?

And don't engage with the other Mum

Been exactly where you are now. My child was the victim, being repeatedly picked on. I calmly spoke with said parent about their child, no hard feelings from my side. Was twisted to my daughter lying and everything being our fault, from how we handled it, to how it was affecting my daughter. Constant passive aggressive messages. I told her I was no longer engaging with her and blocked her. I avoid her at all costs, don't speak to her, do not engage with her and life is so much more peaceful. She is a nasty piece of work

Why would that be a good idea? Who wants to socialise with someone like that?

If she approaches you just say you can't stop to chat as you've got to get back home and you will speak when you have time later this week.

If she persists just keep reiterating it or say you wont discuss if shes raising her voice as there are children about and walk away.

Or just ring someone and be on the phone at the time.

Tell her that since the lads don't seem to be getting on it's best they avoid each other, no need to give a reason. If she raises her voice tell her you can see where the aggressiveness comes from.