How do I make myself like the cat again

Agree. Especially if our cats are indoor. I didn’t do a test as I got my cat at the same month I got pregnant but my few friends did and they were “clean”.
But I completely understand the fear. Pregnancy and the first months after make us a different person

what a vile person you are

Don't assume you're immune OP. It's often said that cat owners will have been exposed to toxoplasmosis already as many on this thread have repeated. It wasn't true for me, I have had cats my entire life and never bothered washing hands after touching them, have cleaned up poo and prey umpteen times, but I chose to have a blood test to check when I was pregnant and I'd never been exposed. That meant DH was on litter tray duty.
I'd be checking cat is healthy first off OP with the vet.

It's quite normal to go through a phase of seeing pets as a threat during pregnancy/post partum. It's just a bit taboo to talk about. It needs to be talked about more so less people rehome pets for a temporary issue.

My baby is 5 months old now and adore my cat again, but until DS was about 3 months old I saw him as a threat to DS which was so upsetting.

Get the cat to the vet OP and find a groomer to sort out the bum hair. Get the poo problem sorted now before baby arrives.

The question is why did you ever have a pet in the first place? People like you just reinforce why it is that I prefer animals.

How long did you have to wait to love your cat again? I’m at the same situation right now. But I only have one cat and feel so sorry for him

How long did you have to wait to love your cat again? I’m at the same situation right now. But I only have one cat and feel so sorry for him

Im not an animal person in general, however to each their own. Happy New year!

Take the cat to the vet to check there aren't any issues making it harder for her to clean herself. It could be physical or psychological or both - upheaval and stress and change can make cats wee where they shouldn't, as can some medical issues.

And then, have her groomed regularly (eg every 3 months minimum) including a "hygiene trim" or as we call it, her Brazilian... A nice shave all round the rear. They can also brush out a lot of the loose fur much better than you will be able to. Some groomers will come to your house which makes it much more convenient and less stressful for the cat. Your vet will probably have some recommendations for groomers, or ask on local groups.

You're clearly not a pet person. OP is, she just needs to tackle her irrational anxiety about one specific cat out of three.

A healthy cat doesn't wee all over the house for no reason, so your experience is not typical of cat ownership in general.

I'd try and leave it a bit longer and see what the cat is like when your child comes along. Cats can form very close attachments to some humans so she still might change. 🤷🏻‍♀️

I had two cats from a rescue, a mum and her 1yr old son. The boy cat was loving and affectionate and loved snuggles but the mum was cold and aloof and seemed to hate humans and spent all her time finding places to hide away.

When I had DS a few years later, mum cat suddenly changed overnight. She adored him and would always be nearby. She'd sit right next to him on the pillow when we read his bedtime story and lie next to him all night. She still wasn't keen on DH and myself though and wouldn't be cuddled by us. 😂

DS was 6yrs old when she died and distraught with grief. A couple of years later we had 2 more kittens (a brother and sister) and the male one this time, decided that DS was HIS human and slept on his bed. DS is a teen now and keeps his bedroom door closed at night but the boy cat still sleeps on the spare chair in his study whilst DS is gaming or doing homework. If DS is watching tv, the boy cat will snuggle down on his knee. His sister cat prefers me. 😊

Why on earth would I? I now have a lovely clean, pet free home it's wonderful.

Christ.

For one thing, OP hasn't indicated that she cant afford to bring the cat to the vet.

Secondly, bringing your pet to the vet is part of being a responsible owner, it's a basic standard of care.

I sincerely hope you never get any more pets.

No, vets bills are the last thing needed when a baby is due. - its more hassle than it's worth. I took mine to PAWS the same day she peed in my ready to go hospital bag, after months of trying everything. The stress wasn't worth it. The cat is now rehomed, and my home is clean, cat pee free and we're all happy. Win win.

You've probably been exposed before, you can pay for a test to find this out.

Generally it's only young cats you need to be worried about as cats also become immune after infection.

Sorry that’s probably no help and totally irrelevant I think my point was if you’re unhappy then rehome

Years ago I had MIL dog dumped on me. She was extremely unwell and hospitalised long term begged dh to have her dog (2 year old spoilt untrained puppy). I said to him no - he told me there’s no choice it’s his mum and her dog and he was doing it. He worked full time !!!! I said I’m not looking after it to be told ‘you’re at home every day with dc - you will’ I made it clear that if he did that I’d take the dog to a vet or shelter and get it rehomed. In the end I did just that and SIL had to go and pick him up

Why haven't you taken her to the vets? Cats don't actively enjoy having shit on them, as they are very fastidious. There is probably a medical reason.

Can't understand. Why on earth one one cat out of the three be dangerous to you?

That seems unreasonable, they are all as clean/dirty as each other, even if you can't see it.

OK so various aspects to this question

Re toxoplasmosis - not all cats carry toxoplasmosis oocysts, it'a phase and cycle - it's worth researching where and when and how they exist so you can be fully informed. Then even, it's a matter of being clean and tidy which I'm sure you are and washing your hands etc if you've handled her.

Regardless, your body should deal with any invasion - it's rare for a body to be unable to deal with toxoplasmosis as usually it means you're quite badly immunocompromised.

I once had fully blown toxoplasmosis because my immune system wasn't working and this led to me being mistakenly diagnosed with several completely different (and scary) illness before lymph node surgery and biopsy cleared the whole issue up. So I do know a little bit about what I'm saying here.

Re her grooming, lack of, you can encourage a cat to start grooming themselves a bit better. Or if she's in pain, elderly, restricted movement, or simply isn't going to 'get it' then you'd need to regularly and very gently begin to start grooming her with a comb, little wire brush, and some soap. Also cut away as much hair as you can from the area - buy sharp hairdresser scissors and / or a little buzz shaver. Also if her poop is runny, not firm, which is causing the problem, then think about experimenting with her food as cats should pass a firm stool, this helps keep their anal glands clear.

Does she have good access to a litter tray and do you have multiple litter trays, if not, make sure to put more down. In theory there should be one for each cat plus one in any home.

Finally, I would say obviously it sounds like you're not fond of this cat and that's really upsetting but one can only deal with the truth. You can try to adjust your attitude. Do try to come to see her as a vulnerable little being who needs your help and depends on you for her life and can't speak for herself in human language and can't pick up the phone and ring herself assistance. Be kind to her no matter what and try to take her under your wing as it were. If you really can't, then keep asking around to rehome her, ask animal charities to rehome her, etc.

How easy do you think it is to rehome a nine year old cat?

Of course it's sad but I think the OP should make a bit more of an effort to actually care for the poor cat and address her anxiety.

I think it’s sad that although the cat has a home she’s not adored by the family. So would it really be so bad for her in the long run if she was rehomed somewhere that actually wanted her?

Indeed, amazing how many people just "get rid" instead of actually caring for the pet they've taken ownership and responsibility of.

It's disgraceful.

And how exactly do you suggest OP "gets rid"?

The answer here is to bring the cat to the vet to determine if there is a reason why she's having difficulty cleaning herself.

Also OP your anxiety is not rational. You've already been exposed from having cats previously.

I would suggest trip to vet for cat to exclude any bowel issues or reasons such as pain that she can't groom properly. Cats hate being dirty and this will be upsetting the cat.

Then a lot of grooming for the shedding. You will prob have to experiment to find the most effective brush that the cat also likes. Some of mine have loved the Furminator which is brilliant but some can't stand it.

Scratching - more scratching posts and a Feliway diffuser.

Given you have lived with cats a long time, you will have had years of exposure to toxoplasmosis assuming any of your have it.