Sons girlfriends comments

Wow some of the comments on this thread are extreme. Someone actually posted ‘rude little cunt’.

OP She might be expressing her preference because she is overwhelmed (like some commentators have said), or because she is experiencing a full-on family Christmas that maybe she never got and it makes her sad, or maybe she never had a mum excited to see her, as you are to see your kids, but instead of being able to articulate that sadness it feels more like discomfort etc etc. If people behave in ways that seem off or odd, maybe mentallly offering a moment of grace to see if there is anything beneath what they say that might give context to the behaviour is a good thing to do. However the comments on mumsnet over Xmas I have to say are some of the most angry takes I’ve seen, which seems to say that there are a lot of hurting people out there, willing to hurt others because of it.

`randomers' not ransomers.

She's been a bit tactless but you can't expect her to feel as you do about your DC, excepting the one she's with, they are little more than ransomers in her life.

Yes, there's a big difference between quietly telling OP and making guests feel unwanted in OP's house

Let it go !
Shes probably overwhelmed (I would feel like this too).
Maybe she’s feeling a bit of an ‘outsider’ and it’s her clumsy attempt at ‘touching base’ with you and re-bonding - maybe !

When the son's girlfriend is living there rent-free yet still has no clue as to appropriate behaviour whilst a guest in someone else's home? OP's point is exactly right: it's not her house. Nor is it her family. She's there on others' generosity. If she finds things in her free accommodation are not to her liking then perhaps her own family would be more to her taste until the house returns to quietness; a matter of days or weeks at most (unlike the OP's commitment to house her until they've saved for a deposit).

In the circumstances, 'furious' isn't what I'd describe as an OTT reaction. Her sheer entitlement and repeated show of ill-manners are certainly not the way I was raised to behave under someone else's roof. But I'd recommend proceeding with caution. This is sometimes how the rot sets in with relationships between sons and their family of origin, and I would try not to alienate her if I could help it.

Is there an end-game to their moving out? If not, I'd start to make prompts to son (not his DP) about moving toward that goal.

OP: I entirely comprehend your feelings. You are not being at all unreasonable.

Think you're massively over thinking it... I doubt it was a personal attack.

She's living in you house and head, rent free.

Chill out. It's Christmas. You could write what's happening here.

Just make a few pointed remarks at her so she stops 'joking'. Usually shuts people up.

@StreamingCervix

That is of course assuming she has other family she can stay with.
Typical assumptions being made that everyone fits into your world view.

I quite agree. If this was my MIL I'd keep limited contact with her.

Just as no one is forcing her to stay. If she doesn’t like the conditions in the household, she’s free to leave at any time, perhaps seek peace and solitude at her own property/ with her own family.

I say all of this as a raging introvert who doesn’t love socialising, that doesn’t give me the right to be disrespectful to others.

I'd ,make a sympathetic comment and suggest that she takes a walk out for an hour or two to clear her head.

Yeah obviously.
Are you another one having a grinch like xmas or something?

@HotChoxs, are you the son's girlfriend?

No I can't. All I see is someone who gets tired being around people and expresses it to relieve the pressure. Wow, sue her for being human.

Is the OP some kind of generous martyr or something? She allowed her to live there so it's her home and she can say how she feels. No-one is forcing her to do this.

Can you not see that it’s a rather pointed comment to make in front of the very people you are suggesting are creating a busy house and disturbing her peace and quiet?

Its quite plainly rude and bad manners. Particularly considering the generosity the op is showing her, where’s the generosity of spirit from her sons girlfriend?

Numerous comments that she doesn't like a busy house and is looking forward to some peace and quiet. So what? Does she not exist?

I actually get the furious element, particularly as she’s made numerous comments infront of the whole family.

I’ve chosen not to go back to my parents home this year as my younger sister and boyfriend have moved in by stealth and he’s taken over to the point that I feel unwelcome there. This woman has vocalised to the op’s other children that she’s counting down for their departure. Let’s hope for all of their sakes that they have moved out by next Christmas.

Absolutely furious is just plain silly OP, but I could see how it would be a bit irksome if she kept at it. Ultimately she's made some joking comments that the house she is living in is busy (which it is compared to usual) and that she prefers it quiet (which a lot of people do). Extrapolating from that how she isn't happy for you that you're reunited with family at christmas,or that she should consider the fact your own children don't visit you as often as you'd clearly like is unfair as well as a hiding to nowhere - that isn't anything to do with her. If she wasn't willing to live at her boyfriends mum's house I assume you would see your other son an awful lot less as well.

If you weren't happy with her living there, or aren't, or would rather a contribution then ask for one or ask to discuss the situation like adults once you're feeling less upset and when emotions aren't running high.

Hasn’t son’s girlfriend got any family she can spend time with? Sounds like you both need a break.

Suggests she goes and stays with her family during this time, after all she sees you all the time,

Why are you "absolutely furious"
Maybe go for a walk and try to calm down? Jeeze.

5 years down the line...."Why doesn't my DIL talk to me? Wny don't they invite me for Christmas?"