No presents from DH or child?

Well, yeah pretty bad from him not getting you anything, but you also have a weird take on gift giving. Why do you say you bought yourself a piece of jewellery FROM your little boy? That's an odd thing to say. You just bought yourself a piece of jewellery, period. Little boys can't buy presents, not should you expect presents from kids with no jobs...just weird all round.

And this is something good? That's crap and I feel sorry for you. Why do you accept it?

I’m certain there will be similar threads in coming days! Though I hope @Albanyriver hasn’t had to prompt this year.

It’s incredibly hard to understand these useless, selfish men. I’m over 60 and can remember my father (who had a full time job, and did his share at home,) taking me and my siblings out shopping for gifts for my mother - every birthday, Mother’s Day and Christmas. And his own presents to her were the highlight of any celebration.

I recall that the year an ex-partner gave me money to buy my own present, rather than choosing and wrapping something for me as he had done forever, presaged the long drawn out end of our relationship.

And all the men I know ensure their children have gifts to offer their mothers.

Truly, until MN I had no idea that other fathers / husbands / partners didn’t do the same.

I'm pretty sure this Xmas there will still be women who have not got a Xmas gift from their kids even because lazy selfish partners have not bothered to take them to choose or even bothered to get the women they claim to love a little thoughtful gift. It's very sad.

This thread is a year old!

This is so depressing to read. So many men who just act like they are utterly clueless and who don’t value the person they love.

Mine came to a head last year I was fed up with things over the years getting to the point that on a number of occasions I had zilch, not even a card. So asked him (just before his december birthday) shall we forget presents from each othet from now on, as best we have no expectation at all.
1 year later a couple of gifts under the tree!
Though still had to send links for ideas!

Send him out today to find you something. He’s a selfish inconsiderate idiot.

Welll done op. When they spout that I didn’t know what to get you, you look very sceptical and coolly (very coolly) say really? at what point in your searching for something did you decide not to ask me for a hint or suggestion, and that just giving me nothing is the best option?

My xdh was absolutely crap at Christmas.
Was only interested in the more drinking opportunities that Christmas produced.
Our first Christmas together he bought me a plastic fur covered elephant that was a pyjama case..meant for a child.
He wasn't interested in Christmas and thought I shouldn't be either.
He's chauvinistic and cruel and I had some sad and unhappy Christmas's.
I'm in a much better place now.

Lazy wanker

I wouldn’t cook him Christmas dinner, tell him you cook for him during the year.

Honestly, some men come like that and sometimes we make them like for allowing them to lower the standards far too much. Make sure you make your expectations clear before you get so ground down you start dreaming of divorce. Flowers from the supermarket when they are on offer, no Christmas gifts? WTF?

He does not respect or love you. If he did, he wouldn’t behave like this or claim that buying reduced price Tesco Value flowers on occasion makes up for it. I’m Nov/Dec, I work 90 hours per week, buy all the presents, decorate, cook the Christmas meal, entertain, wrap, build toys, write and send cards. If he can’t even buy two presents then he’s selfish AF and you need out!

It sounds like a future alone in a damp, cold flat with ‘Palm and her five fingers’ for company is almost too good for him. Find a solicitor and DIVORCE!

This is not okay. You need to sit him down and tell him what you expect as a bare minimum. My husband is not very good at gift giving so I now send him an email in November with a link to pjs, slippers etc and say these in a size M please. Or one year we shared the cost of going to a nice hotel for our joint Xmas present which worked well but obviously I came up with the idea and booked it!

I still get presents from OH, nothing much just little things. A few small presents and a stocking (complete with an orange/satsuma). When the girls were little he'd take them for my present and I'd be excited to get plastic hair clips and bangles while they'd usually come back with sweets and toys for themselves.

I think this thread is really interesting. My husband got a lot better about presents once my daughter was old enough to give him advice (about 5!) but always realised I liked them and so made an effort. But I think communication is really important. I used to run late for everything trying to fit things in until once he said that he felt very low priority when I made him wait for me. I actually rethought my whole approach to time management and now I'm not late to any things barring unexpected disasters. In the same way I told him that my family Christmas traditions meant a lot to me and so he's enthusiastic about them.

That is so sad.

A similar thing happened to me 5-6 years ago. Everyone got loads of presents, I got a pair of gloves from MIL (so I got something) but everyone else, including the adults got 5-6 presents each to open. My DH bought presents for MIL, SIL, kids…but nothing for me. I felt really sad for the rest of the day.

It really isn’t about the present, but it’s about not being ignored. I felt more like a spectator at DHs family xmas, even though I had bought most of everyone’s presents.

That’s good op. I would give him a list to take your ds with you next time. As upthread, pictures from a website are useful as your ds can join in the fun finding the things in the shops. My dd thought my dh had picked the things for me and gone on a search for them in the shops…

I think there needs to be set rules around giving to each other when you are married. DH and I don't give each other anything for birthday or Christmas because we neither need nor want anything, but when the children were little we always did, and made sure that the children always had presents to give both of us as it made the children happy and taught them about giving as well as receiving

How do all these incompetent men manage to hold down jobs and participate in their hobbies?
Or is only when present buying for their wives that their incompetence reveals itself?

Just don't get him anything. Spend what you would have spent on him on yourself. If you already bought presents for him, hold them over until his birthday or return them.

I hate 'one rule for me, another for you' dynamics.

Mine doesn’t notice even very obvious hints about anything, ever. If I want something, or for him to do something, I have to tell him straight.

He does know that he should buy his wife a Christmas present without being told though 😬

We’ve been married 22 years, no DC, so for years now we’ve bought each other a luxury item for our respective hobbies. I tell him exactly what I want in about August and he buys it, along with some small generic gifts (bubble bath, chocolates, a book, stationery). I do the same for him and we open them at the dinner table on Christmas Eve.

Would something like that ‘stick’ with yours Op?

He claims he feels dreadful but never knows what to get

Pathetic. Honestly, there are so many thraads like this. The bar set for men is so low, and so many of them just don't seem to be able to be arsed to even meet that.