To be utterly raging?

It doesn't seem to be about them reading newspapers, though. Family doing you a favour doesn't mean they get to be rude to you whenever they want!

Move out. Live your own life and not with them. You have all been there too long. Yes she sounds awful and judgemental but best way to sort this is to move into rental or back into home whilst rest of work is being done.

PS They have saved you a fortune in money so I'd just ignore if you like saving money or woman up and move out.

Advising the OP to move out isn’t an option as she’s said (cost, inconvenience etc)

The question OP is, do you want to resolve this so it isn’t an issue in the future, or are you happy to feel this way on and off for the next 2 months?

If you want to sort it, you need to get to a place of calm before you do. There are a few options:

1. speak to MIL yourself directly, clearly explaining your feelings. Start with: When you…. I feel…. I need to… And I’d like you to…

For example, “when you tell me I should be more organised, it makes me feel like I’m failing as a parent and upsets me. I need to feel like I’m on top of things and I would like you to not comment on my disorganisation in the future.”

2. speak to DH and explain how you’re feeling. It’s unclear if he knows what is happening. Again, be clear with how you’re feeling using the phrases above. You’ve posted here saying you’re “raging” but what is it in particular that has got you raging in the last 24 hours.

3. practice breathing techniques and counting to 10 when MIL says things. Not saying anything is an art form, practice makes perfect. See image attached to consider when in the heat of the moment!

I am baffled by what work is being done to make you move out for 6 months. You could build a house from scratch in that time.

Oh dear. The issue is that you have massively outstayed your welcome and PIL desperately want their own space back. Ideally we all stay polite, even when someone is winding us up on a daily basis for months, but MIL has cracked under the pressure. It's best to acknowledge it openly as not being about you as such, but about the frustration of not having their home to themselves. Perhaps suggest ideas for how everyone can try to give each other a bit more space, INCLUDING PIL, because it is their home after all.

As for mornings, why is it tricky to get out and can you reorganise or get up a bit earlier? We found DS faffed about getting dressed after breakfast, so we make him dress before now when he's motivated by being hungry. A friend wakes her DC at 8.15, but is always late and can't appear to see the connection that 8.15 is just not leaving enough time for breakfast etc.

We stayed with my sister for 6 weeks whilst waiting for our house. I wasn’t working, we kept Ds at nursery as my bil wfh. It was an absolute nightmare.
You’ve outstayed your welcome. I wouldn’t be raging, I’d be moving out.

Is it really not feasible to camp out in various rooms at your house, assuming you're not having work on the whole house all at once?
I agree with other posters that she's probably getting irked that you're all still on top of each other and no end in sight imminently.
I don't agree with her views on 'women's work' though.

How about booking a week at a time in a travel lodge or AirBnB to give them a break from you all, and you some time without them?

You could fit in a week before Christmas and then one afterwards. Having the weeks in the diary will help you all focus on keeping the peace in the meantime.

SO you don't like her - and yet you live with her because it saves YOU money. You don't live with her because you enjoy her company, respect her, want to contribute to making her life easier. The ONLY reason you are there is because YOU want free accommodation for your family while your house gets done.

You own a house, you are renovating it so you are not poor. You chose to do it this way as it means your money goes further. And then just added another couple of months... and she's the bitch????

If she chooses to read the paper in her own home - that's fine. You are presumably choosing to MN in your own time.
I think anyone would be "a bitch" if someone who clearly didn't like them moved in for months and did things in their own way in my house.

Your DH needs to talk to her and make it clear that while you are grateful to stay with them, she shouldn't compare your marriage and family set up to hers, because yours is an equal partnership and he doesn't expect you to wait on him and and foot.

Unless he does. If that's the case, you have a DH problem not a MIL one.

The generally accepted idea in 2022 is that during working hours the SAHM gets stuff done, but anything that can't be done in the working parent's work and commute hours is split 50/50. That's what is genuinely fair.

They must be a lot of house improvements to be away for so long, you need to find alternative arrangements or get your dh to speak to his mum

If where you live renting costs £3000 a month, as you say, your PILs are basically gifting you £15k by letting you live with them for 5 months!

that is extremely generous of them, and I also imagine annoying at times, for both of you…

Do you all eat together? Who cooks and cleans?

I’d try to let the negative comments be like water sliding off a ducks back and try really hard to make it work

tough situation for all involved

They are saving you an absolute fortune so they can read as many morning newspapers as they want imo!

You have a few threads about your MIL, you just dont like her. What she is asking of you is pretty standard, tidy up after yourself and your kids, its not hard.

I could never handle living with family for 6 months, they are very generous doing this plus the weekly childcare for medical and work purposes!
Agree with pp, what's all the chores you are having to do all day everyday? For the full household of 6 or just you 4? It should be easy enough in am, change and feed baby, pop in warm onesie/suit, give 5 yo bfast and supervise getting changed while cleaning up bfast, baby in onesie /snowsuit to do drop off at school? Of course there will be odd day when all goes wrong and dh should absolutely take on their role on return from work but not in AM if they're off out to commute early. I'd rather do as pp have said and get an air n b or camp Out in own home!

We had to live with my parents with a baby as house not ready we get on brilliantly they are fab. Wasnt a choice we had a rental but it fell through 2 days before we were due to move in 🙄. Honestly worst 6 weeks of my life!

My MIL is like yours. No way would I ever set myself up to stay with them. I don't think you can take advantage of what you are and then moan unfortunately. Either move out or suck it up. It's not really her fault you're there and you've kind of set yourself up for failure here!

I agree with others that you living with your in-laws is simply too much for all of you.

I disagree that MIL is any of the choice names that some psters have called her - she has let you stay rent free for months and, presumably, you got on well enough with her beforehand to think that this would work.

For me this sounds like a case of your PIL being an elderly couple that is used to the house to themselves and things in a certain way (reading the paper every morning) and you've come in and added noise and chaos. For you, you might just be getting your children ready in the morning; to them you are loud and disruptive. I suspect you don't realise how much you disturb them; I suspect they don't remember how tough it is with young children. Neither of you is really wrong.

I suspect a proper conversation about what you can do to make things better for all of you (assuming moving out is not an option) is on the cards. Particularly with2 weeks of school holidays coming up so you presumably will be there all the time.

Deep breath OP, sorry you were upset. But I am sure it is difficult for you both right now. If you have no choice atm, you will just have to try to let her comments wash over you. Soon you will be in your home again. Are the renovations at a stage yet that you could move in if you really had too? I have had various friends in the past in this exact situation and it has always come with challenges. Good luck.

Well it’s been said now and I doubt she will apologise because in her head, she sees you struggling with ‘housewifey’ duties and thinks she is being kind in giving you advice to do things her way.
i think you have to try to forget her words if you can..or at least act as though you have. Maybe your DH can talk to her to ask her to back off a bit and she will soften her rigid criticism. I hope he is supporting you with this upset.
Otherwise, I hope it’s a big enough house that you can hide away doing ironing in your own rooms while you lick your wounds and re-gather your courage and resolve to work your way out of this awful atmosphere.
How does it work with food prep? Are you at her mercy at meal times too. I would find that very difficult.
Its another two months OP. Maybe less if you can move back in before all the work is completed. Get through it as best you can with a smile for everybody. Try to live to her routine and her standards while you are still there even though you would naturally do things differently in your own home.
Can you try to have a break away from them both at Christmas time ?
In the meantime, keep your eye on the prize …how wonderful it will be in 8 weeks time moving back in to your own home. Good luck !

I feel really sorry for you, OP. Staying with anyone is hard work even for a weekend,so 3 months with two small children sounds like a total nightmare. That works both ways though and your in-laws will undoubtedly be feeling the strain too so no wonder people become unguarded, nippy and impatient. You're disrupting their lifestyle and you can't live as you want with them. Let's face it, these set ups never work, but needs must I guess

There is no way I'd be living there. I stayed in my home while it was being renovated. Even though it was a mess.

This is why you shouldn't accept favours from some people, and this is an absolutely massive favour.