Splitting the bill

I think that your "friend" needs to be told what she has shorted the group. If she argues, inform her that the rest of you are going to cover it, but she should be aware that she will not be invited to join you all for any other nights out or trips.
I guess she had to pay for her designer bag some way. 🙄
If all go in a taxi--all pay for a taxi. All eat/drink in an establishment where tipping is the norm, the tip is paid by all. Your "friend" is the one who needs to think AIBU and the answer for her is a resounding "YES!".

Just a genuine question but, i like the idea i might be 'silly'!!

What happens if you are having a walk on your own and decide to buy something - do you need to go back and get your friend to pay for it?

Oh really, do you mean to sound so silly?

Obviously if it works for you then that's great. But, clearly it isnt working for the OP as someone has after the event decided that they dont want to pay for what is billed to them.

It is relevant because you can travel with friends etc and not have to have someone pay for everything and then split the bill. What happens if you are having a walk on your own and decide to buy something - do you need to go back and get your friend to pay for it?

If they had taken this approach, OPs friend would have had an issue with contributing an equal amount into the kitty.

Yes - that’s a fair point. It’d have been “oh, I’ll put less in because I didn’t want to tip/get a taxi”. It would have crystallised at the time though, I suppose.

I know.

Tightness is such an unattractive trait

ive never done this and we travel quite a lot.

Why is that at all relevant @Bellaboo01 ? It's what @Splittingthebill and her friends decided.

I travel a lot with groups of friends in several different currencies & I think it's a brilliant idea & I'm going to suggest we do it this way for our next trip.

What they did is pretty much the same as having a kitty - well from the pov that everything is paid for from a single pot and split equally

If they had taken this approach, OPs friend would have had an issue with contributing an equal amount into the kitty.

OP your friend is BU. Only way I would have sympathy is if she was on a budget and it was leaving her short for essentials. The fact she wouldn't pay for this when she had free accommodation and enjoying time with friends, yet could afford a designer bag just makes her an arse

YANBU. As others have sad, we’ll you know not to go travelling with this “friend” again and may even reconsider any nights out where you’d split the bill. What bloody cheek!

I went travelling with friends where some of us lived in one country, another is a different country and went on holiday to a third country. She had an app to input expenditures and then was split accordingly. Things had to be paid as a group. We did not quibble. We’re planning another trip together as it went well and no hard feelings about money spent. We’re from very different economic positions but a bit of agreement in price ranges avoided any problems.

Fair enough @Bellaboo01, I was just offering an alternative perspective to yours. We only do this when we visit these particular close friends, not on any other occasion.

ive never done this and we travel quite a lot.

YABU. If she doesn’t want to pay for tips then that’s up to her. It may be ‘custom’ in that country but it’s not up to people to make up the shit wages of of staff. I feel very strongly about this. If she’s paid for what she’s actually had then fine.

Id like to agree with you because I dislike tipping too, but in countries where that’s how things are done, it actually is up to the customers to directly pay for the service they received. Even when it’s not great. If you really want to avoid having to pay tips, don’t go to countries where it’s expected.

These types of things REALLY need to be discussed/ agreed beforehand.
If some doesn't want to or can't split it equally (which is fair enough- money might be tight) they need to make sure they have cash at all times.

We frequently visit friends who live on an island and we always do this. They pay for everything while we are there, in the local currency, and when we get home we refund it by letting them choose a day when we pay and it's always the official exchange rate on that day.

It actually has worked really well for many years, but that's because we trust each other and know that neither is trying to benefit in small ways from the arrangement.

The time for the friend to object was when the host first suggested it. Then they could have said they were on a budget so would rather account for their own spending. After the event is too late to raise an objection, now they owe one-third of what all the visitors owe, whether they agree with it or not.

Your friend is being unreasonable, massively in my opinion.

Hate meanness too. We did a kitty for London worked well 2 us. No faffing with purses and who pays. I have a mean friend delays at till.. puts me off meeting them

I had this done to me recently and couldn’t believe it when the couple didn’t pay up. So fucking cheeky. They earn about £30k more than we do, no kids, house they rent out, plus live in a mortgage free house that daddy bought. Thought it was ok to swan off after not coughing up £8 for a taxi 😡

I'm not saying it's right, it just probably didn't really occur to them because to them it's an inconsequential amount of money, barely more than the cost of a drink. If someone owed them £8 I'm sure they wouldn't care less or give it another thought.

freeloading off "friends" is horrible.

Basically, this. Totally agree* *@FaazoHuyzeoSix Not much more to say - all the guff about "being on a budget" is just that - guff. Excuses for being mean and freeloading.

Oh blimey she's a tight wad. This would put me off going away with her again.

I'm not sure why everyone is saying why didn't you get Monzo etc and use them at the time, individually .... surely this would still involve splitting the bill equally at the table/bar? Unless you think she wouldn't have mentioned paying less at the time?

How is it low and mean if she's on a budget

Well @girlmom21 , the OP says that her friend bought an expensive designer handbag while there. Yet she expected her friends and host to pay for everything she didn't want to pay for. That is mean.

Both mean with money, and mean & thoughtless towards her friends.

If I were @Splittingthebill I'd be backing off this friendship. Meanness is really unattractive. Or stating very firmly to her that she is liable for a split of all costs for the trip they took together.

If this friend were so intent on saving money, then she shouldn't have gone with others. If she were on such a tight budget, that she needs her friends to subsidise her, then she shouldn't have gone on the trip.

OP, I hope that your host states really firmly to your mean, cheese-paring friend, that she has made a mistake about the amount. And restates what the amount is.

yanbu

the remaining 3 of you, use a spreadsheet to work out the actual fair and equal split for all expenses, without opting selfish "friend" out of tips and taxi rides because that is clearly ridiculous.

calculate what the shortfall is between what selfish friend claims she owes and what she actually owes. depending on how big the shortfall is, let her know that her next X birthday and christmas gifts jointoy from the 3 of you are your kindly making up the shortfall from this holiday. and never go on holiday with her again.

if someone wants a low budget holiday they should simply not join a group event like this. freeloading off "friends" is horrible.

Just pay what is asked of you.

Seems so odd though that you guys let your friend pay for EVERYTHING whilst you were there and then send you a bill.

She doesn't agree with tips, but happy for the rest of you to pay them?!

@Splittingthebill if friend wants to keep her precise record then the rest of you just tell her what she’s missed. And say, sorry, tips might not be your thing but unless you tell people up front you can’t just arbitrarily decide not to contribute after the event. But I’d have said to the person paying ‘no to them paying’.

To cover yourself next time, get a Metro or Chase account or similar - free forex transactions - contactless works abroad seamlessly. And you can withdraw cash free of commission and only pay the local cashpoint fee. The exchange rate being better usually covers that (click ‘no’ to the offer to use the local bank’s rate as it won’t be as good).

@Splittingthebill how much is she actually short from what she feels she should have paid? Am not sure if the $200 is from you but if that's on top of what she's paid all ready and times by 4 then is over $1000 for just for tips and taxis for a weekend? Ouch!