Comments from friends' husbands?

I’m pretty sure they are just being kind

@PollyAmour i let it go because I felt she was new/culturally clueless and probably feeling the pressure of her primary responsibility being to make conversation/put the patient at ease (!) while the consultant is out of the room. I wasn’t offended per se but I imagine it’s only a very short amount of time before she gets sent for ‘further training’ (assuming the nhs can afford this!) 🤨

Your middle paragraph is disturbing. No healthcare professional should pass comment on a patient's body in that way. I would be really shocked if I overheard a colleague saying anything like that to a patient. Astonishingly unprofessional.

God so many handmaids on here 🙄 why do random men think their opinion on the way a woman looks needs to be verbalised? And why are other women so gaslighty? Is it jealousy?

Yes, I’ve heard men compliment my husband. Including today.

Ive also heard him compliment other men.

I wouldn't have bat an eye. I think you are reading way too much into it, has he ever spoken to you since or made another comment?
You're analysing every compliment you've had, have they made you upset of uncomfortable?
I only ask as most people wouldn't remember these specific occurrences as they aren't significant in any way. If you have been made to feel uncomfortable then this is totally different x

Yes we do
ive told friends they look good, I’ve had it said to me

Maybe she'd rather he made no comment at all! How about that?

Are those literally the only two things he could have said to her? "You look good or "You look horrible"?

@Pompomsfantastix

"Last week as I was lying topless, boobs out, waiting for an ultrasound, the female nurse/assistant/whatever she was commented firstly on how I apparently look young for my age and secondly on my body, literally: “your body looks good too. Do you work out?” Is this ok because she is female? She was married and had a son, so this is ok I guess?"

No, of course that isn't OK, and is completely unprofessional for a medical professional, particularly when you are in such a vulnerable position. If I was you I would have reported her for those comments.

would you rather he had of said you look horrible then?

@AllOfThemWitches oh yes, literally, that’s exactly what I wanted!

I suppose it depends on the partners. All my female friends' partners have become mine (and my DH's) friends and they're all thoroughly nice, clearly adore their wives, if any of them said something like that to me I would imagine it was just a friend paying me a compliment. If however I felt that someone's partner was just generally a little bit on the overly flirty with other women/sleazy side then the context might make a comment like that show in a different light if that makes sense.

I saw a guy who I’m not that close to but he goes to my church on Sunday. He’s white but was wearing an African attire. I’m African and the cloth looked good on him so I made a comment. I was not shouting on top of my voice, neither was a saying it in a hushed tone and it’ll be weird if he thought I fancied him because of that.
When I wear something nice, I’ve had men and women comment to say, you look good, that colour suits you, etc and sometimes when I braid my hair, I do get comments on it. I’ve never thought it was creepy.
If someone had said oh, you look sexy or similar or maybe say I look nice and keep going on and on about it, even if they were male or female, that would have been so inappropriate. A simple comment won’t get my back up.

You literally just wanted to show off there didn't you 😆

I often compliment friends of both sexes on how great they are looking or about a shirt/ handbag/ coat if it catches my eye.

Far weirder to tell a third person “Jocob said I looked good earlier!?” Are you someone who thinks everyone fancies you? I think I’d be unconsciously more inhibited about complimenting a man who I was attracted to.

If he said it in a creepy way or accompanied by borderline inappropriate touching or leaning in with held eye-gaze then I’d be with you. I still wouldn’t relate it to a third party.

The answer is - who knows? Everyone can only guess. But what if everyone says it is inappropriate, what are you going to do then? Probably nothing as you hardly know these people so what difference does it make?

Despite the stereotype, men DO compliment each other (at least the ones I know do). Normally it's about clothes or a haircut but sometimes it can be if someone's lost weight or been working hard in the gym. A guy I know, who I hadn't seen for a couple of months, came in the pub the other day, he'd lost a load of weight and looked so much healthier than the last time I saw him. I instinctively said "You're looking really good mate".

I know that if I'd spent time and effort working on my appearance then a compliment would be appreciated. Likewise if I'd bought a new suit for an event or had a haircut, it's nice that people notice. Unfortunately, the best I can hope for these days is the old "You scrub up alright!"...better than nothing I suppose!

• It wasn’t clear, and what you said was challenged multiple times and not once did you clarify it.
• Looks and bodies aren’t the same thing.
• You are yet to provide any sources to back up what you’ve said and now you’re trying to move the goal posts. I’ve been entirely consistent.
• Nobody has agreed with you on this thread. So, apparently, none of possesses room-level IQ, comprehension abilities and cognitive abilities.
• Nobody has stated that it’s fine to compliment women’s bodies.
• The amount of backpedaling and position switching you’re doing in your attempts to defend an indefensible position is rather sad.
• You claimed you were ‘leaving this cesspit of a thread’ but are still here. Slope off and lick your wounds.

You stated that ‘a man should never compliment a woman’.

I went back and none of my posts say that, you are being dishonest. I said a man should not comment on a woman's looks or appearance. Not that he should never, point blank, give a woman a compliment. Just that he shouldn't comment on her body/looks. Please don't lie and twist to move the goal posts to create a false narrative.

JennyNotFromTheBlock
do you have a mixed sex group of friends? When one guy in my group lost weight, plenty of people told him he was looking good in a whole host of ways, including some quietly as an aside.

Situation, intent, relationship, content, tone all make a difference here. That's why your blanket statements and opinion pieces might hold true for you, but so many people disagree with you

This thread is insane.

@JennyNotFromTheBlock loads of men told me I looked beautiful at our wedding - should I never speak to them again? My Dad told me I looked glowing pregnant - is he a wrong un?

OP I think (given you told your friend and started a thread) you want this to be a thing. A friend of mine used to constantly claim everyone’s husbands were flirting with her.

I think it also depends - if you did and do actually and always look very attractive or were they being kind to boost your confidence?