Relationship age gaps

Give over. Why are you making out I am angry?

I simply think it weird and creepy to lie to make out a teacher shagging a student is fine. It’s weird and creepy to make out you are proof it’s fine by making up a fake story. I also think it’s weird and creepy to believe that the only problem with that relationship was peoples judgements of it, like you do.

Why does that make me angry? Because I disagree with you that it’s perfectly fine for a teacher to shag his students?

Why would it be different if it was your child? You seem to believe that that this relationship would have been perfectly fine, if people hadn’t judged it. So, surely, it would be fine if it was your child.

As I said earlier, op also claims to have ‘first met’ the man she is with now, in her 50s. So even the claim of 25 years of bliss is made up.

Gosh the poster who as a 17 year old ghosted a 32 year old - you really really don’t need to feel bad about that!

My friends ex Dh actively looked for a much younger partner who went on to be high maintenance had tantrums and dumped him by text. He then looked to my friend for sympathy- and didn’t get it! Think her response was “well if you will date a millennial…”

There’s 10 years between me and my partner but we met at 26 and 36, so it didn’t seem weird. 16 and 26 would have been.

The older you get the less it matters. There is 13 years between me and DP. I met him at 42, him 55. Not an issue. If it had been 20 and him 33, I'd find that wierd.

Oops, it just seems a bit pervy! And you wonder do they have much in common and shared interests other than him wanting sex with her and spending lots of money on her, terrible to say I know but it's probably true.
If the woman is older then I don't have that same view.
When the younger person is under 24/25 and the other one is over 10 years older I think it's inappropriate!

I do find it a bit eye brow raising if the man is a lot older than the woman,

There were about 4 posts saying the same thing. I'm not sure why you're so angry, I just recommended a search.

I'm not going to get myself all wound up over a person who I don't know and says she's happy. If it were my child it would be a whole different story.

I first met my now husband when I was 18 and he was 26. I was working in local pub part time and going to university. The attraction was there etc but aside from one amazing kiss when I was 21 nothing happened. I got my degree and moved away for work.
Fast forward 12 years I was back home in my home place and we bumped into each other again and attraction was still there.
We are very happy together and I love being married to him. We both reckon it wouldn’t of worked out had we dated when we were younger. We were at completely different stages in life with different goals/expectations.
There does seem to be a high incidence of controlling or abusive behaviour in relationships where one partner is a teenager and other is a good bit older. You really don’t know who you are are 18.

Hang in. You detailed the thread by telling people to go search.

FFS so you think people shouldn’t judge a teacher shagging his student? Should have left them alone to get on with it?

No one said relationships without an age gap are automatically problem free or never toxic.

PP can post whatever fake story she wants. But when she tries to justify something that’s illegal and immoral, by using a fake story the I don’t mind calling bullshit.

Or maybe people could have stopped judging and she'd have been happy. Who knows? The acceptable age gap didn't work out though. It also sounds like there were issues. Funny that!

Either way. I just didn't see the point in derailing a thread over a troll hunt where it wasn't needed. But carry on!

There’s 12 years between me and my DH, we met when I was 24 while both travelling and working abroad. On paper it seems a big gap and that I was very young but we’ve been happily married for 6 years. We have common interests and life outlook it really works.

If I had met him at 21/22 I think it would have seemed a bit weird. the extra couple of years of independence and maturity made the difference for me.

Oh and also she met someone long distance in her 50s. So if she in her 60s now. It’s not 25 years of bliss. I expect she changed details there so it fitted the title of that thread too.

I searched as you suggested.
I stand by what I said. Making out a 17 year in a relationship with a teacher is fine is creepy.

Making out you have been together ever since and pretending it all worked out beautifully so it’s ok Is creepy.

and that poster was definitely chatting shit.

That's not what her post on this thread says though, she doesn't mention she broke up with him, she said they've never had a sad day together. If they had stayed together when she was 17 then this is a very different scenario, getting together with someone in your 40s and them being 11 years older is pretty irrelevant.

Over the age of 18, I mostly can't see the problem.

Maturity, life experience etc can be an issue but not always.

I'm female and personally don't find men my own age attractive.
I can't explain why, I just don't.

Dh is significantly younger than me but the age gap is barely noticeable until we start talking about tv & music we loved as children (and that's hardly a regular topic of conversation!)

So her original story is still bullshit.

It didn’t work out between a 17 year old and their 29 year old teacher. Did it?

It's when in life they are for that may bother me. Say a 45 yo dating a 55 yo - nothing wrong. An 18 dating a 28 yo - not illegal but I would be wondering about the balance of powers and the 28 Yo's intentions

She's in her 60's. She broke up with him the first time around and they reconnected years later after she divorced her first husband.

People will parrot things like consenting adults can do whatever they like but I do think there is a huge difference. A 28yr old man dating an 18yr old woman is not right in my book. Of course there are relationships where they have a 30 year age gap and every day has been filled with laughter and farting unicorns but it still doesn't change that these relationships often have quite distorted power dynamics which can be made worse by the older person having been in a position of authority over their partner. I have had an age gap relationship and of course at the time thought I was in love but when you really think about it it is unhealthy.

A check back proves what I already knew, I was reading a thread yesterday and remembered this poster. Not sure I understand you comment?

Anyone over 18 and within reason I think it’s for the couple’s own business and I have no issue with it. It works for some people, doesn’t for others. Like all relationships

How do you know it’s bullshit? I’ve just searched that poster and can’t see anything that shows she’s lying?

@starrynight21 I think you should rename yourself as StarrySHITE, so strong is the bullshit with this one.

For the amount of posts on mumsnet, you would think most of us are aware that age gap doest matter. Any relationship can have a toxic dynamic regardless of age.

I often wonder if people who ended up married to the man they met when they were 17 who happened to be nearby 30 at the time just don’t have a sense of what a normal power balance in a relationship is nor want to confront it as they may need to consider the fact they were essentially groomed.

I went to uni with a few girls in big age gap relationships which all were quite… iffy.

A teacher training or it in a relationship with a is against the law. Consent changes to 18 if the person is in a position of authority. Not the correct wording. Shame on you husband for not knowing that or if he did and ignored it.