Bizarre incident on train...

How sweetly naive you are.

'On the train, we might hear someone persistently making sexual comments to another passenger or see them following them through the carriage when they’ve made it clear they don’t want to talk.

We might see someone standing too close on purpose,'

So, the BTP recognise that the behaviour the OP describes is harrassment.

How often are men told to 'be nice'?

That you do you says precisely nothing about whether OP has an obligation to be polite to people creeping her out and invading her (limited) privacy in multiple ways?

I think that being rude is an option that we all have all of the time, and whilst it's best if we restrain ourselves most of the time, because most people don;t deserve strangers being rude to them, it is really not wrong to be rude to people who you feel are doing things you believe are wrong.

What to do if you see someone being harassed:

www.btp.police.uk/police-forces/british-transport-police/areas/campaigns/Railway-Guardian/

Funnily enough, saying 'that was a bit rude' isn't listed as a suggested action.

Thank you, I had no idea there was such a thing!

apps.apple.com/gb/app/railway-guardian/id1608231573

This. It would be useful for women to download the railway guardian app on their phones for themselves and their daughters, which provides advice and actual assistance for women who are feeling threatened or harassed. Invaluable when some men don't have any boundaries and think they can behave however the hell they want towards lone women.

With the most politeness I can muster, are you ok hun?

Not your finest point there was it.

Quote from today’s newspaper (Scottish):
”Transport chief Jenny Gilruth will toughen up security on late-night buses and trains after raising concerns of men targeting women on public transport. ..previously said she was intimidated by drunk men squeezing in beside her on carriages even when she was surrounded by empty seats. She also said she was victimised whenever she tried to swap seats.”
Transport Scotland is carrying out a review and speaking to women and girls across the country. Will report later this year.

This happens. It’s always men targeting women.

The situation was clearly uncomfortable, the man's actions (starting from sitting directly next to you where there was a choice) were directly causing it.

Your first priority was to react/change the situation to not feel bad. You did just that.
It doesn't really matter whether someone perceived is as rude or not.

^ I agree. We can set clear and strong boundaries in a polite manner.

What u said was fine

Ok I'm going to ask a general question again because no-one has answered yet. Would anyone on here approach a complete stranger on the tube and ask them what they were looking at on their phone? Do you consider this normal friendly behaviour? Some must surely, judging by the replies.

@knittingaddict Nope. I wouldn't even ask another woman, because what's on someone's phone is private.

Absolutely fine OP. Got little patience myself with anyone, but let’s face it, it’s often men, who demand your attention.

People saying your were rude are just wrong, what you said was fine. If he was such a tender flower he shouldn’t have imposed himself on someone else in public.

This.

This!!

Having read through the whole thread now and all the OP's responses, I've concluded that it's a perception thing as the OP finds men 'creepy'.

Personally, I wouldn't have felt affronted or violated or invaded for having a stranger asking me what I was looking at on my phone. Is it really 'bizarre' for one person to talk to another? Clearly that's just me and I should have been dragged by the hair and raped & murdered a long time ago after spending years & years engaging with men (all types, all ages, in all situations) in idle chit chat.

I'm afraid I think the OP and the man (if either are in the wrong) are pretty much equal in their behaviour.

The OP reacted as if this was some unwanted sexual advance and she had to launch into full defence-mode.

(If a woman had asked about the photos, would she have reacted as she did? Nope.)

I can't quite understand why people think the OP was in the right to be so rude.

Even if this man was being nosey, or trying to chat her up, it didn't warrant such a rude reply. Just so unnecessary.

She could easily have just said Oh, pics of an exhibition' or even 'Oh, that's private'.

I notice she didn't come back to her thread to tell us what he did next. How he reacted.

It clearly wasn't a threatening situation (and yes, I've used the tube for decades, including daily when I worked in the City.)

It appears that she herself isn't that good with her own social skills.
There are times when it's necessary to (metaphorically) give a pervy man a kick in the balls, and other times when something less aggressive works.

Clearly the 'girls' (who I assume were women) found it amusing as they thought she was out of order with her reaction.

Interestingly, decades ago, my uncle met his wife on a train, leaving London. I wonder if they'd have married if she'd behaved like the OP when he asked her where she was going?

I suspect a great many of these posts are not from women.

I'm not sure who really has a vested interest in women ignoring their instincts, or devoting their time and attention to unwanted, intrusive male strangers. Oh, wait ...

I have read the OPs posts and not many others... I think that it is worth remembering that some men have appalling social skills as opposed to being creeps; that you can't expect privacy when you're in public (however rude it is to look at someone's phone, and it is very very rude, you have no expectation of privacy if you are sat right next to to someone); that simply speaking to a stranger is not in itself wrong.

But, other than those minor devil's advocate points to remember that there are two sides to most things, I can't believe the stick OP seems to be getting. She knows his behaviour was off in a number of ways, and there is no obligation to be all sweetness and light al the time, let alone when you;re being creeped out. 100% on your side OP.

An afterthought: trains are one space in which women have a definite (and IME increasing) problem with intrusive men, and are now becoming a place in which I'm on alert.

I've had, in the past year, a man circling me like a shark in a deserted railway station, coming and standing alongside me as though to board, then walking slowly away watched by the conductor, who stepped out into the middle of the platform and watched him go. Evidently he thought this guy's behaviour was 'off' too, for those on this thread who apparently need male endorsement that it isn't simply women's 'paranoia'.

I've had the knee-brush (plausible deniability of course) at the table seat, and I've been filmed and photographed by the man sitting opposite me. (I'm certain he had photographed me, and was almost certain he was filming me). I got up and left my seat, and would have called the transport police had he followed.

I now park at the station to avoid being there alone late at night. I no longer take a table seat, which is quite an inconvenience as I like to work on the train.

If my experiences were unique, there would not be signs all over railway carriages warning against sexual harassment and intimidation, and plastered all over with the text number of the transport police.

Women need to trust their instincts.

We women sadly do need to be on our guard.Many years ago, before mobile phones were invented, when I was in my young twenties, I was late for an appointment once in London, there was a film crew in the street where I was meant to be, I asked a man politely ‘excuse me, do you have the time?’ His response was ‘sorry love, I can’t leave the set’! It took me a moment to understand his response, he realised his mistake and then told me the time. It just made me wary for future random conversations with strangers, men usually, if not always. They seem to have another agenda other than just chit chat.

I still think if the guy had been a fit hunk, with gorgeous piercing eyes and a smile worth starring in a Colgate advert, the response would have been very different.

I've encountered way too many weird men in public places who try and lure you in with a "nice" conversation that you feel like you can't politely get out of as a lead-in to a situation that feels much more uncomfortable to give any man on a train the benefit of the doubt
That was my dad! Chatted my mum up as she was crossing the road in front of him in his nice convertible car. 2 years later and here I was!

He could have opened more politely, such as ‘excuse me, hope you don’t mind my asking, but what is that? ‘ He assumed he had a right to ask, he doesn’t. If he had been polite, you maybe may have felt less annoyed and responded better.

Don’t be ridiculous. Being in a public place does not make one public property. Social norms call for respect for people when sharing public transport.

I might have been less abrupt in my response, OP, but that’s possibly because I lack a certain level of assertion that you don’t. You did the right thing and ultimately got the result you were after, which was time to yourself to browse your own pictures in peace. Not a crime or unreasonable.