Bizarre incident on train...

i know you would suggest that. And someone on this thread did exactly that and was followed and assaulted. So I'm saying it's bad advice. I'm not sure if you're trying to be funny about the putting someone in a box situation, although if you are you're not succeeding. Alternatively you are lacking the ability to understand metaphors. Never mind, eh.

Yes I would suggest all women did as I said and move away. No idea how the OP put him in any box but if it was going to end badly putting someone in a box doesn't seem the solution.

Which is exactly what didn't happen.

In your opinion.

If you think you should just mumble at men who are behaving intrusively, then carry on. Just don't try and tell other women to behave the same way because in the actual experiences of other women it can end badly.

And the OP got exactly what she wanted which was the man, who'd been bothering her, stopped bothering her.

There is another thread on AIBU asking why people stand when seats are available. I rest my case.

I have no problem with random men conversation. They are half the world and often interesting. I can't think why I wouldn't want to talk to them on the basis of their sex.

Being confident and being able to assert yourself with strangers and having a sixth sense for potential risk isn't 'living a life in fear'.

I've spent a happy non-fearful life able to get on with what I want in public - reading my book/the internet, listening to music, talking to people I like - without feeling I need to make polite chit chat with red flag creeps.

This sums it up beautifully. We don’t need random man conversation.

Tell me you haven't read the thread without telling me you haven't read the thread.

Everything I wanted to say but much better! 👏🏼

Putting someone back in his box? Ignoring social cues? As I say, completely OTT.

I totally support your behaviour OP. You did what you needed to do in an uncomfortable situation. You owe that stranger nothing and I applaud you acting so assertively. Having travelled on the tube for many years I agree that you get a gut feeling when things aren’t quite right and you should always go with that feeling. He’s a grown man and you saying what you did will not leave him traumatised for ever.

It’s interesting there was a thread on here recently from an OP who’s son (I think just 15 or almost 15) was in a group who were hassling one of the groups GF for a nude “flash” on a FaceTime/video call. The girl, in the end “showed them something” to get them to stop. This isn’t even F2F it was remote. Why didn’t she just get off the phone, why didn’t she assert herself and tell them to F Off….. because of the people on here who think she owes politeness, kindness, conversation, a negotiation. When she should have been taught to do what the OP did and is teaching her daughters, which is that the second she feels uncomfortable, the second her boundaries, whatever they are to her, are over stepped she has every right to say NO. No explanation, no justification just NO. That situation is not even the end game when we teach girls to “be kind”, be the appeaser, be polite instead of trusting their instincts and taking whatever steps they need to stop/end the situation. More importantly they need to know they will not be judged for doing so… Which is what is so shocking about this post, the judgement that OP firmly saying NO based on her boundaries is somehow “rude” and the message that sends young girls about the importance of their boundaries and feelings over others. It’s so so incredibly dangerous, and if that means my daughter isn’t the one in a million who meets her “spouse” on public transport because she’s brave not polite then that’s a risk I’ll take quite frankly.

Yes because mumbling to someone who is intrusive and ignores social cues works so well 🙄.

She's not having her whole life dictated by fear. She just put some annoying little man back in his box.

The OP wasn't aggressive to the intrusive man, she just made it clear he should back off. She didn't tell him to fuck off, call him a cunt.

If you didn't think he was weird or at least unpleasantly bothering the OP then I think there's something wrong with your social radar.

Actually what she got by being assertive, was exactly what she wanted, he stopped bothering her. As countless women have testified, often playing nice is what ends up with certain men being aggressive back.

This, and thank you, R0BYN, very well expressed. And very sorry that you had those experiences, and got shut down, gaslighted, no support, poor man - yeah, same here. Same with so many women and girls.

It was not the OP woman being rude. It was the man being an arsehole.

The whole thing sounds a bit OTT. I think if it were me, I'd have mumbled something and moved off if he was intimidating. Ridiculous to have your whole way of life dictated by the fear a man is going to look at a picture on my phone while on the tube.

I wonder if he had a hidden disability? Being direct and not understanding social boundaries can often go along with these conditions.

What if you DO look someone in the eye....so what???

Just read that, it's so depressing it makes me want to cry. We always have to be scared and ready for danger, don't we? :'(

Thanls for posting this, it's so encouraging.

But the judgement was that "tge OP finds men creepy". Not "some" men, apparently "all" men!! That is patronising in the extreme, why shouldn't she answer!!

Thanks OP for running this thread so long. Clearly this discussion is very much needed. Women have right to perform their boundaries.

Why should women have to suffer this invasion of privacy. Convention on tube/train is NOT to interact .

Sitting too close - rude.
Nosing at someone’s phone - rude.
Making a comment about what you seen - really rude.
Getting all touchy when told to mind your own business - also rude.
OP you were not rude. That guy had already broken several (unspoken) “rules” about how we behave on public transport. Serve him right.