Bizarre incident on train...

I’m a Londoner too. I would have done the above.

Instead you inflamed the situation which is the most dangerous thing to do with someone who you don’t know. So from a safety perspective it was unwise.

From a manners perspective it was just plain rude and uncalled for.

What he said was utterly innocuous and reasonable. Your reaction was hostile and disproportionate.

Hands up. Who has watched the Inside Man?

Janice kept making a bunch of questionable decisions didn't she? Why did she admit to seeing what was on the computer rather than just going straight to the police?

Pick pocketing on the tube is rife at the moment. You need to be very careful. I would be suspicious too.

It's extremely rude to look at another person's phone over their shoulder and even ruder to display your poor manners by asking what you're looking at!

But yeah, OP is the rude one for pointing out that there's such a thing as privacy.

FFS.

"Oh, just an exhibition I've been to" Then I'd shut down my phone and move seats at the next station.

Without knowing anything about the guy I wouldn't be excessively rude. He could just be super friendly and interested in art, he could have a social and communication disorder, or he could be a plain creep. Without knowing which I'd just bring the interaction to an end in a calm and reasonably civilised way.

You were 100% reasonable OP.

I would have felt very vulnerable if i had been in your position (and I have been in similar) and I think the more we react like you did the better.

He wouldn’t have done it to a man. Entitled prick.

If the guy really feels the need to start asking questions to lone women in public places, then he needs to learn this often won’t end well for him. That’s just life.

You can be assertive without being rude and you were definitely rude.

Good for you, I’ve said similar. Not going to make myself feel uncomfortable to spare someone else some minor embarrassment. I’d have moved, where’s the solidarity from those other women??!

I have had some really shitty experiences on the tube over the years. People are often just arseholes.

i had a guy read my note pad as I was jotting some stuff down for work, I wrote “I can see you reading this dick face” and he stopped. I’ve had men take pics of my cleavage, refuse to shut their legs so I could sit down, what I think was a pregnancy fetish man come to my “aid”, been picked up and carried by some other men on to the train so I could squeeze in when it was rammed (this was actually helpful).

Basically do not assume what happens down there is accountable to any reasonable logic.

Is it possible he was on the autistic spectrum? It's just I came across someone similar recently on a train who was, it is possible to be both extroverted and autistic. But you're not unreasonable to want to be left in peace, you should be able to say you don't feel like talking and be left alone.

I agree. I spent many years commuting by train and have had far too many experiences of men who have decided that any woman they choose owes them attention. In my younger days I put up with feeling uncomfortable for fear of people around me thinking I was rude if I didn't reply/moved seats etc. On many occasions what started as 'just a chat' became inappropriate comments/questions and once a man who was 'just being friendly' decided to follow me (in the dark) to my car when I got off the train and tried to get in. It pisses me off that women are expected to 'be kind', give any man who wants to speak to her the benefit of the doubt etc etc but it's very rare for anyone witnessing this sort of behaviour to ever call the man out on it. It's also amazing how these men who 'just want to chat' only ever seem to want to chat to women.

I'm sure some people will say perhaps the man was lonely, perhaps he just wanted to chat etc etc but he could easily have chosen a man to chat to.

I think you were unnecessarily rude. Life is a lot better if we’re all a bit more polite to each other and don’t always assume everyone is acting in bad faith. And don’t sit down next time, you’ll have more luck stopping others staring at your phone if you stand up.

I would have moved without the rude snappy comment. Disengage and walk off, he could have been aggressive.

I like your style.

Funny how he didn't ask any of the men in the carriage isn't it?

I would have probably said something similar op.

I was born and raised in London and still live here, and I think you were rude. If you didn't want to talk, you could have said so.

Yes, just sit there staring at the floor so you don’t risk upsetting a man.

Fucks sake.

I admire your assertiveness. It is fine to look at your own photo's in a public place and you renunder no obligation to tell him what they are. In the same way it has always been rude to read over someone's shoulder it is rude to look at their phone over their shoulder.

I don't regard either of those private but I turn the pages when I am ready. I don't wait for sluggerbeds.

A book is quite different to an easy to view photo.

So anyone can join in reading your book/paper? Everything should be a group activity?

Ok to say ‘It’s private’ but ‘there’s such a thing as privacy’ is horrible.

Your reaction was fine.

The girls were out of order, too.

I would have simply said 'pics from an an exhibition' with a look to make it clear I wasn't interested in chatting.

I was born and have grown up in London but I don't see someone attempting chit chat as deserving of the outrage and snarky response you gave.