Bizarre incident on train...

It's so different to London than in Liverpool. In Liverpool we just chat to strangers. It's usually a given.

Although he was rude to look at your phone and also to ask what they were in the way he did.

He could have phrased it better along the lines of "sorry I couldn't help notice your pictures, do you mind if I ask what they are of" or something along those lines.

As it was you responded along the same manner he asked so it is what it is.

I think he was odd, but I also think you were unnecessarily rude. I'd have just given a bland reply which invited no further comment. If he'd commented further, I'd have given one of those weak non-smiles and ignored him. I don't think I'd have given it any further thought.

Sorry, that isn't what I was meaning. It was to PPs saying from the safety aspect she should have been polite, remained seated or got off at the next stop even if it wasn't hers if she felt uncomfortable as if they felt she may be attacked (someone up thread mentioned a stabbing).

No.
interactIon is a mutual and collaborative process, it has the participants
He imposed, unasked,and asserted himself upon her.that’s not interaction, it’s male dominance and he probably expected to get away with it
Because he relies upon social stereotypes of being rude,used that to manoeuvre himself into looking like the wronged party
wakey wakey! Women don’t need to pass time with men

I remember Sandi Toksvig telling a story about being on the tube and a man opposite wanting to show her something. She thought he was showing her something he'd bought so put her reading glasses on to have a look. (Mumsnetters would approve of her friendliness) It was his penis.

<rolls eyes>

What a stupid remark.

OP - the only thing that was unreasonable about your behaviour was that you didn't say to the girls "Well, show him your phones, then."

It’s the tube!! There’s no personal space on a tube!
I think you were rude. There’s ways of shutting someone down without talking to them like that. Man or woman!

I'd have been tempted to say 'sounds like these two want to show you their photos' and direct him their way. Except I wouldn't, because I'd be concerned for their safety despite them being unconcerned about mine

You were quite snippy. I can understand why as I'd be equally pissed at someone peering at my phone and asking questions, but I think I'd' be too scared for my personal safety to chastise an unknown adult male who has already criss-crossed a few boundaries.

Also, am Scottish and used to strangers chatting the hind legs off a donkey at me on public transport.

I would’ve told the girl how would you like it if someone sat next to start looking in your phone pictures please shut the fuck up

Asked for the man probably mentally ill in some kind of way I would’ve ignored him and not answered back and said nothing just moved

In a crowded train just interaction to pass the time .

How often do men try to 'pass the time' in this way with men, do you think?

And why should the OP be responsible for entertaining a complete stranger?

There you go OP. If you don't for some bizarre reason want to provide mental health support or conversation to random men all you have to do is wear headphones, move carriages, change seats and have a prepped pre-vetted polite response like a good service human.

I wouldn't be bothered by him asking. I spent years commuting and actually occassional conversation with the people you're sat next to wasn't that unusual.

If you didn't want to talk to him fine, but him asking you a question about a picture you were looking at wasn't particularly dreadful in my opinion. I'd class it as much the same as a comment about the weather or asking if the book someone is reading is any good.

He was being a bit nosy, but not threatening from what you said. Maybe he lacks social skills and doesn't understand a woman may feel uneasy

im autistic and I probably lack the social skills to respond in the measured and polite manner so many of you possess. In fact I’ve been taken advantage by disgusting men because I am not very good at boundary setting and being assertive.

So please remember when you start applying all sorts of mitigating circumstances to the poor men who decide they are going to approach lone women, that the lone women too may have communication problems.

(i’m not suggesting that the OP has such communications issues, but I’m thankful that there are women like her who are able to communicate clearly and without room for confusion)

In a crowded train just interaction to pass the time . Yeah you were rude .

If he was reading text messages I don't think as many people would be saying OP was unreasonable. Anything on a personal phone should be private in my opinion.

Good post

It didn’t sound like he was going to attack her at all? It was on a busy tube and he just sounded like he was trying to make conversation?
it is a bit weird to look at someone else’s phone, but if you had stuff you really didn’t want others to look at why would you look at it in a very public place?
to me it points to someone without the normal social queues everyone else has and I think there are less rude ways to say what the op said to them.
it sounds like the only witnesses, the 2 girls, also echo that sentiment.

Your response does sound a bit rude but that's okay - if someone makes unwanted advances, sexual or otherwise, you don't owe them politeness. You certainly don't owe them an explanation of what's on your phone.

I used to be very confrontational too in circumstances like that. Nowadays I tend to just say quite politely, 'I don't want to talk to you.' It usually shuts them up.

I can understand why you reacted like that but it kind of reminds me of the sketch on the mash report ' Northerner speaks to Londoners'. People are instantly suspicious and rude to people. Maybe he was just interested and fancied passing the time of day. I sometimes have people speak to me when I am out and about and unless they are directly rude, I answer them nicely. There are lots of lonely people. They are not all predators. I mean he could have been an arse but then again, he might not.

your reaction was normal /understandable, but I don’t consider this particularly “bizarre” in the manner of all things I’ve seen and heard on the tubes of London - being born and bred it almost feels like, yeah and?… that’s the tube for you.

I wouldn’t have thought much of it afterwards personally.

You were right to trust your instincts op.

Mn is obsessed with manners, being rude is the most henious indiscretion on here
never mind he imposed himself upon you or how that made you feel,one must not be rude
you’ve done nothing wrong, it’s a classic male power play. Be inappropriate in a low key social way so that if challenged he can be all faux exasperated and say oh I was only asking…I was only saying…she’s so rude. Use ingrained social misogyny to label the woman as rude, deviant, unhinged.

You would ask a question about an image on a stranger's phone? That is very rude, why on earth would you think that was OK?