Bizarre incident on train...

I'm remembering what you said in case that ever happens to me hehehe well done you.

I agree with you BUT I am from London and travel on the tube daily - Im pleased to say it is not only the north where people feel free to share and be friendly! I’ve had some great encounters on my commute.

OP I can only think the girls got involved because of your unfriendly tone and possibly they picked up on some type of neurodiversity.

Ive always found that answering politely to questions and then not much engagement has been enough to stop unwanted questions/conversation free travel but appreciate it is each to their own

What he said was utterly innocuous and reasonable. Your reaction was hostile and disproportionate.

What he said would only have been innocuous and reasonable had it not been preceded by behaviour which made the OP uncomfortable.

I think if I felt that threatened by him (which you’re saying you did) I would’ve responded something not quite so cutting.. eg.. ‘just an art gallery I went to today’ and put my phone away.

Probably for the same reason if you're walking home alone at night and a man starts walking behind you you'd be a fair bit more concerned than if it was a woman, I would say. The threat level is very different. Yes he could be absolutely lovely (unlikely) or he could see any engagement in conversation as 'encouragement' and follow her off the Tube. Again, a 70 year old woman doesn't quite pose the same threat.

Never mind the OP needing to be more polite, maybe men need to understand that imposing themselves on women in this way is the height of rudeness.

You can't? Surely you know it's a woman's job to be decorative AND polite?

This

Unless there is an emergency, it's rude to demand a stranger's attention. Anyone who does so should expect a sharp response.

I might have reacted as you did but I think it's possible he really didn't realise how his question would have felt to you. Some people can't empathise or see how others would feel in situations like this. It could have been that. I don't know.

God OP, a weird random bloke leans over you on the tube and starts asking what’s on your phone and you WERE NOT POLITE?

i can’t believe what I’m reading.

So what if it came off as rude, you don’t owe a train creep politeness!

I don't have any experience of the tube which is why I was asking how people behave.

Well then your opinion is really irrelevant then, despite your over confidence in voicing it.

I'm not defending him.

Of course you are. Like all the other handmaidens on this thread.

Poor intrusive men. So hard done by. They should be allowed to continue to rudely impose themselves on young women 🙄.

Plenty of men (and women in their 70s) on tubes, trains and buses seem to be able to manage perfectly well without bothering women who are minding their own business.

This thread is baffling. The man was rude, OP was rude back. How on Earth is OP in the wrong?!

It's not OK to ask a complete stranger what they are looking at on their phone.

I'm gobsmacked you are so naive.

I would. There is nothing about being female and 70 that makes it okay to try and make other people be your entertainment on the train. At 70 your mum really ought to know she’s being incredibly rude if she does something like that.

I'm wondering what OP meant by personal space.
@Readaboutyourself said : "Do you think him getting to touching distance is rude?"

I went on the train up to London this week. I go up once a qtr. Bus to Denmark. Tube later on.
At every stage I had people very close to me. When you sit on a chair the person is touching your thigh with their thigh.

No they're not identical scenarios, unless your mum goes round sitting too close to complete strangers and fidgeting next to them before peering over their shoulders.

Not impossible she'd do this...

But even if she did do that, it IS more intrusive when a man does this because they are bigger, stronger and therefore more of a risk. Also a man on the tube is also far more likely in the experience of many women used to travelling on the tube, to be persistent and not leave you alone.

I don't have any experience of the tube which is why I was asking how people behave. The OP sounds breathtakingly rude to me but maybe that's standard

So really, not the same situation at all. Weird that you're trying to compare them just so you can defend some rude bloke. So disappointing that so many women do this

I'm not defending him. I'm just gobsmacked at the way the OP has spoken to him, the various cheerleaders, and a LOT of emphasis being placed on him being male.

It's not an actual crime to have a penis, except on MN apparently

Anytime I was polite to a man trying to chat to me on a train we would end up trying to touch me so I wish I never was. I wish I was brave like you.

Women are not support animals for bored curious men. You were fine, OP. I can’t believe the pandering on here.

It's not so different to somebody bringing a puppy on the train and somebody going "aw, he's cute, what's his name?"

You probably wouldn't say "He's my dog and his name's private!!!"

No they're not identical scenarios, unless your mum goes round sitting too close to complete strangers and fidgeting next to them before peering over their shoulders.

But even if she did do that, it IS more intrusive when a man does this because they are bigger, stronger and therefore more of a risk. Also a man on the tube is also far more likely in the experience of many women used to travelling on the tube, to be persistent and not leave you alone.

So really, not the same situation at all. Weird that you're trying to compare them just so you can defend some rude bloke. So disappointing that so many women do this.

He was a bit forward, you were a bit snappy. Both are personal choices. I wouldn't have asked a stranger like he did, but some people would. It's not like he was starting in your window at home or something - you looked at it in front of him and he asked a somewhat forward question.

Oh, my hackles went up when I read about the fidgeting.

I know these fidgety types well. They have often stalked up and down the carriage first. They sit down too hard, flap around right up in your space, huff and puff and mutter to themselves. Absolutely desperate for someone to look up and pay them some attention and can't stand it when you don't, so they have to push it a bit further.

I think what you said has taken this thread off at a tangent. It was sarky.

It sounds like he was invading your space. This was before he even looked at your phone or said anything.

If I felt that someone (male or female) was invading my space I would say something or move.