Bizarre incident on train...

You did nothing wrong, everyone knows on the tube the etiquette is don't make eye contact.

I would have said the same and moved too.

Just this morning DH has a morning off so we went to get some shopping so I can actually visit a shop instead of online order as I don't drive.

DH was putting his card in to pay and some random guy in the queue behind edges so close he was on DHs shoulder! He was trying to see if he put a pin in, so I said, loudly "excuse me, move back, that is so rude to stand that close". He did move back but I then said to the assistant, "and you should have told him to stand back and wait as well"

People seem to have forgotten personal space now we don't need to have enforced distancing. Also you have to guard against distraction theft too

Yep, very enlightening that there are so many misogynists posting on MN 🤔

The poster of that comment is autistic. Are you minimising how they feel? It is offensive to suggest autism as a reason for inappropriate male behaviour.
If the OP had said the man had put his hand on her thigh, would it be OK to suggest autism as a reason for that too?

Not that all autistic people are the same, but having worked in that environment/alongside (residential setting and educational), I have found that when out and about they are far LESS likley make eye contact or be over familar (they might when they get to know you..... again, I worked mostly arorund young men and women of all ages), and I know for sure when I see them on their outings with their workers theat they are autistic to some extent. They will usually look away, or at the ground.
The OP does not have to consider or figure out his mental conditions; he was creepy and rude and invaded what personal space there might be on the tube. The women who witnessed it will learn, in the end. Easy to sit on the sidelines and criticise (this thread is an example) - especially when there is more than one - the Power of the Plural, I call it. Or plainly, Idiots.

"Feminists wants more rights than men and you should feel lucky that man didn't do something worse to you" has literally finished me off today. Fascinating.

I always take a dim view of any man who chooses to squish up to you on public transport when there are other seats and tbh I wouldn't even do this to another woman
I had this happened equally from women. My reaction to the situation makes no distinction.

there are some massive ignorant ableist bellends on this thread.

please stop rolling out autism as an excuse for behaviour like this. It is inappropriate and highly offensive.

And what if the lone female is autistic? I am and would have found this situation extremely hard to cope with.

If it was me, I'd just have told him they were from an art exhibition and left it at that, don't engage in more conversation.

OP was a bit rude.

I've lived in London nearly all my life, travelled on tubes. There are sometimes scams like this. Vast majority of people I see don't talk to anyone on the tube.

We got to sexual harassment before the question about something on a phone.

Before he looked at the OP’s phone he sat down and pressed into OP’s physical space despite there being plenty of spare seats available. OP has been quite clear he was physically encroaching on her in a manner she reasonably interpreted as being harassment - reasonably because the world with kids being ogled and groped on public transport and half of all London women being sexually harassed on public transport is the world we live in. It’s the world OP lives in and a man who deliberately presses into your space and asks you questions about what’s on your phone is a big red flag. OP couldn’t not engage. He had already engaged her physically as well as verbally. And that is a damn good reason to be rude in response.

No, we don't have to talk to random men, especially if we feel they are overstepping our boundaries. We shouldn't be bringing our girls up to believe that they should.

Also boys and men should know that if there are other empty seats on a vehicle don't choose to share a seat with a woman. If you need to share, don't manspread, touch, or lean into her space and try to look over her shoulder at what she is doing.
I always take a dim view of any man who chooses to squish up to you on public transport when there are other seats and tbh I wouldn't even do this to another woman.

Whatever the reason, it wasn't even the man himself who thought you were being rude but random strangers in the carriage who heard the way you spoke to him and felt it was unnecessary. If that was how your response was received by people outside of the immediate situation then perhaps what you perceive as being abrupt may not have come over quite how you thought. There's obviously a difference between moving away discreetly and being unnecessarily rude just for the sake of it. Your response appears to have been the latter, to the point even other people pulled you up on it. Maybe use private transport if you don't want to be looked at or spoken to.

This. I would have answered in a similar way and left it like that. I hate being rude to people, but am no walkover if I think someone is insulting me.

Why did you start the thread when you're convinced you were reasonable? Seems very disingenuous.

You snapped at the man and snapped at posters who didn't think you were reasonable, despite your having asked them. You're not unreasonable as such, you're just very very... angry. Surely there are better ways to spend your time than all this drama.

No idea, she's under no obligation to speak to a rude woman either. Why would she?
It's usually men though. She's not a rude person, but you don't sound like you have a lot of sense.

It’s the type of world where girls are ogled and groped on public transport from before they’re teens
I experienced all this as a teen. That doesn't mean I assume all stranger men starting a conversation with me have unpleasant intentions.

I don't like random chats with strangers and will quickly put an end to it but I don't think that gives the right to be rude in any way. It's not forbidden by any law. They are perfectly entitled to start a conversation for whatever reason.

I will always make a point of being firm but pleasant in my initial response. Oy if they jeep insisting will my tone of voice change.

I really dislike people people they are entitled to be rude just because. Too many such people polluting our spaces and contributing to people feeling doom. Light up, put a smile on your face and be kind. It will pay off.

You weren't brought up better, you were just socialiased harder to be a good little girl. Never be rude to the men!

Oh, so if had been a woman who had asked what the photos were the OP would have happily told her? I don't think so, she just sounds like someone who is a rude person. I couldn't care less if random man speaks to me, but then I don't automatically think man = evil.

No we don't have to talk to random men in public, because they want to talk to us. We don't own public spaces, but neither do they. We do own our own privacy though.

You weren't brought up better, you were just socialiased harder to be a good little girl. Never be rude to the men!

Guess I was just brought up better? We all have to talk to people sometimes, we don't own public spaces 🙄

He was ruder. Why should she tell him what her photos were of?

The amount of female apologists for mens horrible behaviour on this and many other threads is depressing.

The fact that some people don't understand personal boundaries doesn't mean women should be forced to Keep Sweet and not be allowed to have any personal boundaries

It’s the type of world where girls are ogled and groped on public transport from before they’re teens.

How have we got from a question about something on a phone to ogling and groping? Maybe he came from a more friendly society, where people show a genuine interest in other people's lives - i.e. a world far away from MN. There is nothing wrong with not wanting to engage with someone, but there is no excuse for rudeness as a response to a perfectly innocent question.

And then got into a conversation the op didn't want and reward the pushy man and ignore her boundaries. Great idea. 🙄

You you have a problem reading social cues?

I can't believe the autism excuse has been rolled out here. It seems every bit of dodgy behaviour is down to autism these days. Not fair on people with autism and it's not as kind as these posters think it is. It's the opposite.

"Would have been just as easy to say, "just some private photos" and put your phone away in your bag/pocket."

This requires the OP to stop doing something she clearly wanted to do. Why should she have to do this?

It's more than time for women to start being "rude" in the face of unwanted attention.