Bizarre incident on train...

I believe, although am no expert (honest!) it's something Japanese. It's drawings of ladies being pleasured by octopuses

It’s always men. Every time. I bet none of you polities have ever had a woman start a random conversation about what’s on you’re phone?
This is very weird. I had plenty of women starting to chat to me. Often drunk ones who would ask me where I was going, or where I bought my bag and would go on and on. I find it hard to believe this only happened to me!

Strange how for so many life still has to be based on providing pleasant interaction to men, no matter the circumstances or how dodgy their behaviour, because god forbid a woman might miss an opportunity to be part of a couple...
Haha, going from just being pleasant to strangers to indulging men...not a gigantic step at all. Being nice is just that. It's not selective, opportunity minded, and certainly not being weak.

Some might well see this as 'rude'. I view it as simple, direct speech (and the methods listed above as craven cowardice)
Indeed, others might see it as rude just those two girls did as they were entitle to. The whole thing is a non issue, but OP clearly did. It's ok for her to say what she wants but not for others. You can't have it both ways.

i also had years of using public transport and my worse discomfort was someone overweight taking a seat next to me and overcrowding me. If they also happened to smell, that was misery. Yet never would have had told them to get out of my space because...well it would be rude.

Public transportation is very often an unpleasant experience, it doesn't mean it's ok to be rude.

But it's no-one else's business what the OP finds unacceptable or not as long as she's not breaking the law or breaching safeguarding. She wasn't.

And no, I wasn't assuming anything, @LuckyLil, I can assure you.

Because I'm fucking reading the news or looking for knitting patterns or surfing mn. That ok with you. Grrrrr.

You're assuming we know for a fact this man didn't have a learning disability of some kind which may have made it difficult for him to understand appropriate boundaries. Clearly the women who called OP out didn't find his manner threatening otherwise they would have backed her up. My feeling is he was probably completely harmless. if the way OP has been snappy to anyone on here who doesn't agree with her is anything to go by then she must be a real joy to bump into on the train...

But have they ever asked what's on your phone?

I've had chats with strangers on public transport about the weather, the bus being late, the train being late (again), all kinds of neutral things. Never, ever would I ask any of them, what's on your phone? And I would find being asked that intrusive. It crosses a social boundary for me. And it's OK for me to feel like that.

That's such a strange comment. I quite often have women starting up a conversation if I'm in the bus or out walking the dog etc. Especially elderly women (and men for that matter). I just always take it that they are just being friendly tbh.

why are people sitting with their heads in their phones in the first place engage with people around you.

I do get random women starting conversations with me actually. But it's different, isn't it?

It’s always men. Every time. I bet none of you polities have ever had a woman start a random conversation about what’s on you’re phone?

I think the young girls were naive.

you were rude, he was just making chat and im not suprised the women said something. Cant we talk to other human beings on this planet then?

How on earth was op rude. Bee in this situation many times especially when I was younger on public transport growing up in London.
you KNOW when something isn’t right and this wasn’t right. The man was too close and invaded her space plus looked at her phone asking questions that were none of his business.
OP you acted exactly as many would have. Why should women have to deal with this crap then feel guilty after for being ‘rude’. I know exactly what this situation would’ve felt like. Those who say otherwise clearly have no experience of this or are completely naive. OP you were correct.

So what is he was ND? That isn't an excuse to get into a woman's space and make her feel uncomfortable. MN is exhausting with the 'perhaps they have XYZ' excuse

I’m surprised (or not?) how many people think this is normal and that’s it’s ok to not only look at a strangers phone but to comment on what they are looking at?! I’m so glad I have children so no strangers ever sit next to me on public transport 😂 and if I’m not with them (not often) I stand up!

I once saw someone looking at octopus porn on the district line and I managed to not exclaim, "what the bloody hell is that?!"

I know this is not the point, but... what the bloody hell is octopus porn?

You were wholly in the right, and reacted appropriately.

The two who intervened sound young - sadly they’ll learn!

I once saw someone looking at octopus porn on the district line and I managed to not exclaim, "what the bloody hell is that?!" This man did not need to try and look at someone else's pictures. You just don't do it. You really don't.

There are unspoken social rules about where to sit on public transport (and using cubicles in public toilets, where to sit in waiting rooms, etc.) We don't efficiently start at the front and fill up neatly - we put space between each other, so there's at least one empty seat between us and strangers until it's too busy for that, and then it's okay to start filling in the gaps. You try not to touch strangers even when it's so busy you don't really have a choice,unless you're a predatory bloke using the crowds as an excuse to cop a feel. We pretty much all know this, even if we never talk about it.

People don't talk to each other on the tube unless it's something like, "excuse me," "I need to get off here," and similar necessities, unless things are out of the ordinary, such as a train breakdown.

You definitely don't acknowledge reading over shoulders, be it book, phone or anything else. You don't lean in for a closer look, however curious (and I have been very curious at times, and wanted to know more.) We tell small children not to do these things, not to stare, not to comment, so they too grow up to be people who know these rules without having realised they learned them.

And it's okay to say, "none of your business" to people who invade your space unasked. You don't have to be polite about it (they're not,) and while it's sensible to consider your personal safety in how you respond, it's fine to decide your own boundaries there. I'd suggest not thumping someone (it'd be assault,) but you don't o someone politeness when they've been pushing i to our personal space.

The more women there are asserting their boundaries, the better for all of us.

I believe in direct communication. I neither go in for nor entertain passive aggression, silly spite/attempting to injure others by gossip etc, or appeasing inquisitive strangers by pandering to their efforts to approach me (decent men, BTW, do not approach lone female travellers) or ask me intrusive questions.

Some might well see this as 'rude'. I view it as simple, direct speech (and the methods listed above as craven cowardice).

On a separate post, we have:

we don't own public spaces 🙄

I'm unclear as to whether this poster is being disingenuous or not. If not, then tell women something really obvious, that we're not made to feel EVERY single time we interact in public. Hence women make ourselves and our bodies smaller, and are conditioned in 'politeness' as seen upthread.

The material point is that women are at far greater risk then men when occupying public spaces. And the reason we're at risk, is because of men. The idea that trying to maintain perfectly reasonable boundaries and trying to keep ourselves to ourselves in public is claiming 'ownership' of those spaces is so hilarious I'm in two minds as to whether or not the humour is intentional.

You're not a country side type. In the country side people have to get along together and tend to make connections, not burn bridges at every opportunity.

Mmm, yeah, cause nice men often start by sitting too close to you, fidgeting, invading your space before invading your privacy....

Not. Raise your standards.