Bizarre incident on train...

Thanking you.

As this thread has unfolded, it has really got quite bonkers. I think the cohort of posters who apparently refuse to understand that women are allowed to be a bit fucked off now and again are not quite on the level.

Brilliantly put.. How is the OP supposed to know if he is lonely, on the spectrum, etc etc. He’s a dickhead

Well said Autumn crow!

Me too!
(applause... can't find the emoji)

I second that 👏🏼

👏

You know what, my personal space is valuable and I am that fucking special. So is my daughters.So is your daughters, though you will regrettably teach her otherwise.

I AM allowed to not have men touching me. I AM allowed to say to men, you are too close, back off. I AM allowed to say to men, I do not wish to talk to you, or be pleasant to you, or to ignore my boundaries to make you happy.

No happy couples ever met by a man making an unknown woman uncomfortable with unwanted attention. I don;t have a "celebrity crush" due to not being 12, but if I did I can assure he could fuck off if he acted the same way.

My personal space and right to be left alone IS that special, and I fell terribly sorry for you that you don't value your own, or other womens. But that's your issue, not mine, or anyone elses.

It didn’t sound like he was going to attack her at all? It was on a busy tube and he just sounded like he was trying to make conversation?

Well in my 20s I responded innocently to a man asking what I was listening to and then he starting being weird after following me to another (full) carriage, he squashed me against the window and put his hand up my skirt and no one did anything even when I moved to the foyer bit by the doors and burst into tears (crowded train, people just avoided eye contact).

So this is why I wouldn’t even talk to a man on public transport even if it was busy and understand why OP reacted like she did.

Read ‘The Gift of Fear’ we should never ignore our instincts.

I was charging my phone on the train once when a man in his 50s came up and asked for my charger 'because his wife was at the next station and he needed to call her'. I looked up, surprised, said sorry, no. He then insisted! I explained I was using it, as if he couldn't see. He then actually scoffed and replied 'oh you're using it, are you?'
So odd, but also not surprising. Just a relatively mild example from a long line of other, worse, behaviour from men on public transport.

*Men are never rude when they don’t respect womens boundaries

Women are always rude when they tell men to respect their boundaries*

Yup. Tale as old as time…

Your kind and respectful is another person's compliant and a pushover. Being lonely doesn't not give you carte blanche to make someone else uncomfortable by invading their personal space and trying to make them have a conversation with you. I'm sure there were other people he could have conversed with who weren't engrossed in their phone. He was rude and pushy.

It's easy to tell the difference between people who have learning difficulties and people who are pushing your boundaries.

Yes this! I always used to engage as I was conditioned to be polite and put others before my own comfort. I would have done the same, although I probably would’ve silently closed my phone and ignored because sometimes mens reaction to rejection is aggression (personal experience)

She wasn't. He wasn't. They were out of order.

Cant we talk to other human beings on this planet then?

Sock puppetry. No one has said you can't talk to other people. What you can't do is invade someone's personal space, make them feel uncomfortable and then peer at their private phone and make comments about it.

Again, what you do in the countryside for those at the back is very relevant when you're having a discussion about what happens in the countryside. I wouldn't dream of telling people how they should engage there because I have far less experience of it. The situation on the tube is very different.

I have been raised to be kind and respectful in general. Wouldnt make a difference to me if it was a man or a woman and someone asking me a question wouldnt offend me. Who knows why he asked, maybe be has a learning difficulty and doesn't understand social expectations or maybe he was lonely and just wanted to try and make conversation with someone.

Uppity and rude.

a snack for you back in your cave

Not when they don't want to talk to you, no. Not when you get right into their personal space and make them uncomfortable, and nose into their phone and ask questions.

It's actually really easy to work out who wants to talk to you and who doesn't. Get a hint.

These comments get barmier. I'm pretty sure they are wind-ups.

You're not a country side type. In the country side people have to get along together and tend to make connections, not burn bridges at every opportunity.

Laughs in Herefordshire.

😀OMG.

Is that all your have?

Yes, maybe, on my own terms. Not for the edification of the man invading my space and privacy.

I haven't been on public transport for years, so it's a bit academic.

The best one I've had was a lady who kept staring at me on a train. It was quite odd and disturbing. Then she finally asked me if I'd mind if she guessed my star signs. I thought she was bonkers but I said yes and very spooking, she got it right, not just my sun sign 1/12 chance, but moon also.

After that, we talked about astrology, it was very interesting, although it was clearly a very random lucky guess.

It's so sad that people have to be so defensive nowadays.

Did that really make sense in your head?

but you dont mind mind talking to strangers online hmmm?

Me too. On my last train journey the lady next to me told me all about her holiday, her disabled DD, where she lived all sorts. People often tell me their life stories, my husband walks off laughing when it happens in shops or if I sit down on a bench when we got for a walk at our local beach. Not about my phone though as I don't use it much unless someone calls me.

Actually, yes I have. Though it was my laptop and I was in a library. She stared at my screen quite openly and commented on a photo that my friend sent IN A MESSENGER CONVERSATION. It was just scenery from his holiday, but wtf?

I clicked off instantly which probably made me look guilty of something, and looked at her blankly. I think I said something like."Sorry?" and she took the hint and walked away.

I'd actually forgotten about this until now. And I'm prickling at the memory..