Bizarre incident on train...

I think you’re right that they were distraction thieves. I would have moved too.

Same! Also putting yourself in a situation that could potentially kick off for no real reason. Loads of weirdos on the tube.

now I’m thinking - what would my decent, polite OH (man) do. Never ever sit next to a woman, look over her shoulder at her phone and start to ask questions. Can’t imagine it.

I would have become very nervous and possibly much ruder than you. I’ve been attacked by three boys and punched in the stomach before, on a normal but quiet London street, and I have to say you do you here. Other posters do what they want. You don’t think about your reactions when you’re scared and for those who wouldn’t be - accept that others might.

I think he was rude and the women were wrong. Looking at your phone was intrusive.

be the bigger person and just move away

I'd far rather women were more concerned with their safety and preserving their dignity than appeasing creeps or whether they look like a 'good person' or not.

YANBU.
First, always trust your instincts. Second. You don't owe strangers or anyone who cold approaches you in public anything. Cheggers etc get short shrift with me. I assume any stranger who approaches me in public is up to no good. Safety is number one, especially for a woman on her own. Btw I don't live in London.

And err @dottypotter do you seriously chat to people on a London tube? Nah you don't. It's weird to do that in London...hence OP was unsettled.

He was a dick and you can respond any way you please.

maybe he was just being friendly but I doubt it.

The invading of your space is a dead giveaway.

OP I think the man sounds weird and rude. The broader context is that women unfortunately have to be wary of men. They are the attacked sex. Those of you goading the OP...look at the f@@ing statistics and stop being such sanctimonious nobs. She felt threatened and intruded upon. A depressing proportion of men feel entitled to encroach on space and privacy; and decent men have way more respect. People don't need to tell them to back off because they don't overstep, because thry give a shit about respecting everyone's space. YANBU OP and this is the ever more depressingly goady mumsnet 'attack the OP automatically' brigade

I don't think anyone's saying you're not allowed to do these things. They are saying that it is possible to be assertive without being aggressive and rude. IMO a lot of these responses are way over the top. Yes, the man on the train was inappropriate, but be the bigger person and just move away.

Head stuck in the phone instead of being aware of your surroundings and possibly chatting and then rude when spoken too, then onto the Internet to tell strangers about it. Yes very bizarre.
Too many people with their heads stuck in their phones today. Talk to people around you. You never know you.might enjoy some pleasant convo talking to another human being on this earth.

Im
guessing you’re not single then poor guy that must of really hurt his ego

I understand how you feel and it is creepy that he intruded into your personal space. But I think that the reason I understand how you feel is because I've been in that kind of situation before and it's actually really scary. If it had been me I would have said 'this is personal property and I would appreciate it if you would give me back my personal space' or something like that. It could be worth reporting it to the police just so that it's on their records in case it happens to someone else too

👏

YANBU, OP. Women should be a lot ruder to creepy men, imo.

You did nothing wrong. Unfortunately too many young women have been instructed to 'be kind' especially where men's feelings are concerned. It took me years to realise that I didn't have to.

Give your own boundaries away if you must.

But I'll be holding on to mine.

Honestly it sounds like you were quite obnoxious generally about something very innocuous, and being "furious" about it is an over reaction.

You were absolutely spot on with how you dealt with it, especially in the current toxic climate with regards to woman’s safety. He had no right to invade your personal space and his behaviour was indicative of pure male entitlement. Appalled to hear those defending him, and concerned that said people may still be raising their daughters to people please men. Good for you for defending your space and privacy.

How funny. I've never heard a man being called uppity. Another word like hysterical, feisty, shrill, bossy, abrasive, pushy, sassy, bolshy, nagging, headstrong. They're only used about women and are designed to stop them setting their boundaries and being assertive.

Stay in your place and humour men is the message. Well fuck that.

If you want to limit yourself, feel free, but don't try and shame other women into being as downtrodden as you appear to be.

No idea why other just seem to think/be focusing on you were rude because actually that isn't really the issue!

It's almost as if it's perfectly fine for a man to be rude (sitting uncomfortably close, peering at her phone, asking her about what he's seen on her phone) but a woman must always, always, BE KIND, BITCH.

I would have said "Some pictures!" Got up and move d immediately, But I would have moved as soon as he sat down and creeped me out by man spreading. Even if I had to stand up as a result!

No idea why other just seem to think/be focusing on you were rude because actually that isn't really the issue!

👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

I do think you were unnecessarily rude. As a PP said, you could have replied “it’s private” without the sarcasm.