Bizarre incident on train...

Makes me wonder how they brief their daughters "stay safe, but be ever so nice to everyone even if you feel threatened."

Threatened????? By a man asking a fairly innocent question????? Seriously, some of you need counselling.

It's usually men though. She's not a rude person, but you don't sound like you have a lot of sense.

And yet somehow I have got to the age of 63 without a care in the world. If you bothered to read the thread you would see I am not the only one who thinks the OP (and many others on this thread, judging by their repsonses) is rude. Some of you have serious issues and/or are paranoid if you think every man on the planet is ogling and wanting to grope you. I can't say I have ever heard the people of the UK, en masse, being described as friendly, and I can see why.

Yes, quite.
Women are not there to soak up men's personal problems. Women are actually allowed to ride on public transport without having to pander and simper to men with poor manners.

Sounds like they were all in on something together. You were in the right. Some of these comments show to me that a lot of people are way too naive and polite and that's why certain scams and situations work.

Can't believe the number of posts on here saying 'Maybe he had learning difficulties' or 'mental health issues'. So bloody what if he did?! It doesn't mean that the OP was obliged 'be nice' to him if he was making her feel uncomfortable.

@Redqueenheart

In which case I am very happy to be described by you as ''an uptight rude feminist''.

Me too! As I really don't believe the authenticity of many posts on here claiming how polite they would be on the London tube. Clearly they have never travelled regularly on the tube.

I think you reacted in a perfectly appropriate manner. I doubt very much that he'd have done it if you were a man! I had a similar incident quite a few years ago on a bus. The man sitting next to me,who I had never seen before in my life,asked me where I lived. I said that I really didn't think it was any of his business. At this,the woman sitting behind us piped up 'There's no need to be rude!' then started discussing with this man how rude and ignorant I was! I politely told the woman to keep her opinion to herself. Thankfully I was getting off at the next stop,so any further aggro was avoided! Honestly! What is it with some people

These posters saying the OP was rude.... Woooooowwww..... The conditioning is STRONG in you!!
He was rude, obnoxious, and made the OP feel uncomfortable. The term 'trust your gut' really needs to be drummed into girls and women.....
The OP clapped back at him and quite rightly so, fwiw OP, I would have done exactly the same as you, and had I witnessed it, I would have laughed at the way you answered him, so well done you!
You owe nothing to nobody, but everything to yourself!

@RoaringtoLangClegintheDark @BirdinaHedge I was thinking the same! How are all these women criticising Op for drawing her boundaries so clearly and keeping herself safe? But if you look, it is the same small handful of posters commenting negatively multiple times. I think the majority of women on here are supportive of the Op's response.

Well, I thought so until I skimmed back a bit and there's more of this "Op, maybe you had reason to feel creeped out and threatened but did you have to be rude." Depressing! Makes me wonder how they brief their daughters "stay safe, but be ever so nice to everyone even if you feel threatened." Erm no!

Brava OP, Redqueenheart! You were not at all rude, in any way. Man intruded on your space, and kept on pushing his intrusion. You just kept your boundaries - yes! asserted them! - while a dickhead man was trying to get you to entertain him.

He was rude. You were firmly assertive to his nonsense.

The two young women involved will learn, that is inevitable. Though there is the possibility that they were also involved with dickhead man in an attempted distraction robbery. Which, if so, you foiled due to having good boundaries and a good bullshit detector.

Women being out in public does not mean that they are some sort of public resource for men. Any men. Lonely men, men with learning disabilities, men on pick-up, men on the rob, men with social disabilities - not OP's problem. Not women's problem to sort out. If it takes asserting one's boundaries to them, AKA, "being rude", then so be it. Women owe all these men absolutely nothing.

Female simpering at intrusion by male strangers doesn't work, it just encourages them. "#BeKind", my arse.

Having travelled on the tube for many years I know, without realising you are doing it, you can find yourself looking at someone's phone, newspaper, magazine etc but to start discussing it was a bit weird. I probably would have given him a very brief answer but would certainly move if I felt uncomfortable in any way. As for the girls who told you that you were being rude, it's none if their business.

I think your reaction was a bit over the top, enough for perfect strangers to comment, you must have been rude.

Some people have learning difficulties and are socially oblivious.

Some people have mental conditions and socially oblivious. Cant all be perfect !

Absolutely agree!

I don’t think that he “barged into your space”, he sat on an empty seat next to you, I also don’t think that by asking you a question he was “demanding your attention”, perhaps he’s just a little socially inept.

I am convinced that this is one of many sock accounts on this thread, all similar styles of berating the OP

Get a privacy screen protector for your phone.

Would he have done it to a big beefy bloke? No. Creeps do this stuff to women, because they KNOW that female socialisation (often a conditioned response to threat, danger and harassment, an attempt at appeasement) means many women often won't feel confident telling them loudly to fuck off. Many of them actively get off on making women feel uncomfortable.

No 'nice man' impinges on boundaries like this.

Although a train is a public space, in order to look at pictures on your phone they'd having to be sitting pretty close and actively looking(- rude! IMHO)As someone who has had their bag snatched (team distraction on a (foreign) train) by someone trying similar methods, -asking about my book, personal questions etc. I can appreciate your concern. It would be a bit much, that is just downright nosey. I got my bag back by counter bag snatching just before they got off the train.

Sidling! Honestly! No one here knows if he sidled! Do behave.

This thread has made me realise just how much some women expect men to stay in on Plenty of Fish until they're summoned.

And that is completely different to the op's situation. You weren't trapped in a tube train. Honestly!

I was reading a personal letter on the tube and the man sat next to me commented on it. I gave him a filthy look and said why are you reading my letter? I know I was rude but I thought it just as rude (and intrusive) that he was reading it over my shoulder. My Mum said he was trying to be nice! But seriously, WTF?! It was absolutely none of his business. Have some boundaries!

So 10-20 years ago if you were reading a book and someone said : “
is that a good read” ( or something similar) most normal people would engage in conversation. I get that times have changed and people are generally more wary/ less sociable - however a mobile phone is not particularly “ private” if you are randomly scrolling through visible pics sat right side by side with someone else ( any more than the dreaded loud one way conversations people often forget everyone on the carriage can hear!) . He may have been just trying to be pally and engage you in conversation, or he may have been a creep/ utter pain. Either way, you have a complete and absolute right not to engage in conversation- but equally possibly a rather over dramatic/ extreme response?

Weird behaviour from the girls too.

They could have been working on distraction techniques. Who knows?