Splitting the bill

Like someone else just said, IME it's always the one's who over indulge that insist on sitting the bill.

I generally try to view my contribution as the cost of the evening rather than the food cost so we all pay same. Tbf there's been times I've gained, times I've lost out etc. providing everyone is on similar ground.

If u had starter and bottled water I'd say three way split fair enough. If u had no starter and tap water then u definitely shouldn't have paid same and I would have should my ground.

In this situation I would have split the bill, agree it can be awkward though.
I used to go out for a meal with a group of friends we met through a hobby. As I was financially having to be careful I would order a non alcoholic drink and go for the cheapest main. Meanwhile two of the group would always order a bottle of red being the only ones who would share it. Starters, mains and pudding would also be ordered.
When the bill came they always expected it to be split equally! I felt awkward speaking up whilst others didn't. I simply stopped going as I could not understand their bare faced cheek of expecting others to pay for their greed.
On the last occasion I heard one turn to the other when the bill arrived as if trying to justify things mentioning that there was no difference between the wine cost and a couple of half lagers. Still gives me the rage thinking about it.

How utterly entitled your post sounds. Eat and drink what you want - and pay for it. It's not up to your companions to fund your choices.

Good restaurants make profits on their excellent food, not bog-standard alcohol being pimped out, they don't need to do that. The lesser places, maybe so.

It was pretty awkward for them and me tbh, just not hubby. They didn't have the funds, so their adult daughter had to pay some too, but she was 1/3 their bill anyway .

My husband said on way home that he wouldn't of helped (my friends not his) at all, and why should he as they knew full well how much money they had and were trying to freeload off us. Luckily the daughter reduced the embarrassment.

I did and can still see his point, it was cringeworthy, why order champagne when you only have enough money for lemonade is what he said

I've always understood that restaurants make a good proportion of their profits on drinks, so I think of buying alcohol or fizzy drinks as paying for the privilege of sitting in the restaurant. I think people who drink only tap water are being a bit tight from that point of view so it's fair to expect them to chip in to cover the 'rent' that their companions are paying on their behalf.

With food, one or two people not having a starter or a dessert if everyone else is I'd again say chip in. But if some people are having three courses, expensive dishes, lots of drinks (including non alcoholic) and most are having two standard courses, I'd be inclined to pay separately, specially if the same people had form for this.

I'm usually the one drinking water and eating less, as that's what I prefer, but I do feel that the more extravagent consumers are in a way justifying my place in the restaurant, so I'm happy to chip in. That said, among my friends it's normal to say 'I had the expensive ... so I'll put in extra' or 'So and so only had ... so should pay a bit less'. We also tend to know who is better off and less well off and the better off tend to be a bit quicker to volunteer to 'lose out' if the situation arises, trying to be subtle about it. But we're friends and care about each other.

I agree with this but would say that not all bill-splitters are CFs but that the CFs are always bill-splitters and do not ever want to pay for what they've had.

Superb! I'd give good money to have seen their faces 👏👏

I'll not show him this or I'll not hear the end of it. He can be a grinch or very generous, but simply just won't let people take advantage of him or me.

I pay for what I've had. Which is normally more food and booze than anyone else as I love a decent meal out 🙂

A one off not an issue, just split it. But if you feel you are always paying more than your fair share ask for separate bills.
I eat out with a friend and usually one of us picks up the bill but we alternate- no one is keeping a tally though. She does tend to order a bottle of wine but is always happy to chip in more for it (I'm usually driving so have none or one glass and she'll have the rest).

Excellent work by @Whammyyammy 's dh.

notacooldad, Why must people speak up at the beginning?

It's not a complex calculation and for those people who would struggle, people have phones with calculators. It doesn't matter when somebody says they want to pay their own, they should be allowed to do that. Tip is optional and again, shouldn't need a committee decision.

Exactly.

I am not sure why one or two posters are getting bogged down with this pretty normal playing with language

@Whammyyammy your husband is a king! 🤣

There is no such thing as "full fat" coke

It's just coke. FFS

You should have just insisted on paying your own. It can't have been hard to add up what you had if you didn't have a main and just had water.

My oh calls coke zero/diet coke unleaded, and "full fat" coke leaded....

We have friends that had a rep for being like this. Went out for a meal with them, they were ordering cocktails, as many food courses as they could, and the more expensive course too (steaks, lobster etc), large desserts, and lots of alcohol.

As the night drew to a close they proposed splitting the bill in half (5 of us, me and oh, other couple and their adult daughter). My husband informed them he had already been to the bar and settled mine and his bill including a tip! You could tell they were pissed off, saying they weren't sure THEY had enough funds to cover what THEY had eaten/drank 🤷‍♂️.

On way home my husband said the total bill was about £450, ours came to about £120! CFs clearly wanted us to pay a fair chunk of what they devoured.

We've not been out with them since, and a few other friends have also now done the same.
CFs wanting someone else to pay for their dinner....

The only people who ever insist on splitting the bill equally (or call others who object "tight") are those who take the piss and rip off the people they eat out with.

Moral and decent people are aware if someone else has consumed less expensively then themselves, and never want to freeload off them.

Spot the freeloaders on here 🙄

"this friend has a habit of doing it, she eats a lot, will order several starters and cokes. When I usually just have a main and water (just my preference not being cheap)"

Next time you eat out with this friend, just say as you sit down 'We won't be splitting the bill today, I will pay for my own and you pay for yours'. Upfront, firm, no argument brooked.

Why didn't OP just say something? I would have! I would've just said no, here's my £8 for the starter, I only had water and my main was deducted, so the rest is yours.

If you don't speak up, more fool you.

Well, she is clearly annoyed at subsidising the full fat coke habit and multiple starters. Worth forcing a glass of champers down to give friend a taste of her own ( full fat) medicine. I look forward to reading the next thread about it.

My bad, I’d only noticed the bit about the friends ordering the multiple starters. Also, she’d paid £25, not £20.
I only usually make these errors when I’ve been on the wine, no excuses for a morning post…!

Does doing this genuinely please you?