Bbq etiquette

maddiemookins16mum

The BBQ should be warming up from about 12.30 and eating within the next 45 mins to an hour. Ice creams at 3. Everyone gone by 4pm.

Gone by 4pm?? Seriously 😳 it's supposed to be a social event surely? That's just odd

BYO is the norm with us if it's more than one family we're inviting over, and to be fair, even if it is just one family they never turn up empty handed even when we tell them we've got it covered. IMO it's rude to turn up empty handed to a BBQ.
I'd have snacky bits ready for the kids straight away, maybe kept out of sight in hope that they wait til the BBQ, and have salads and sides ready to dish out when the BBQ got put on, but we'd have a few drinks and chat for a while before putting it on so 2-3ish before food was brought out.

I would expect to eat at some point in the afternoon after socialising for a bit, not straight away and would not mind bringing my own stuff at all 😊

Food at 1 at the earliest

This

I’d probably expect 2-3pm for a bbq myself. Certainly not on arrival.

I’d say about 2pm. If it’s from 12 then people might not even turn up until 12.30pm. I’d expect a drink and chat first before chucking food on bbq.

I agree people would normally bring something but the invite is worded as though you have to bring all your own meat. Normally the hosts would provide some and everyone's offerings would be top ups.

I'd expect food to be cooked ready to eat by 1ish then the bbq to be on until everyone's had enough.

Bring and share are the best parties, IME. I like it when everyone brings a different salad too. Can take or leave the meat but homemade coleslaw, potato salad, couscous, Greek salad etc to die for!

To answer your question, the BBQ will be lit at 12, ready for 12.30, first food ready 1pm or later.

I always bring my own just to make sure that I have something that I like so this request wouldn’t bother me at all.
I’d expect to eat about 1/2 hour or so after I’d arrived.
I’d bring my own wine etc too, if I didn’t have to drive. These kind of things are expensive and if you’re having lots of people, it can cost a fortune.
I’d never turn up at anyone’s house without at least a bottle of wine, if I were planning to drink.
cost of living is too high now; but it’s still nice to see friends and family.

God only knows. It depends on who brings what and what time they arrive.
if someone asked me to bring my own meat and drink, I'd stay at home and do my own BBQ and drink my own drink.

Should your friend have bought a cheaper house for her own family so she can pay for dinners for friends instead instead?

I’d rather have a grazing affair , so cook things staggered than all in one go - it seems odd when people cook everything and even keep stuff warm in the oven before eating it all together

Most bbq's I've attended people bring stuff.

It's perfectly normal with my friends too. Only a few of them have the space to host big get togethers so I'm happy to bring steaks and leave them with the clearing up!

I would say you won't be eating until 1.30 -2 earliest

We're abroad and it's perfectly normal here to bring something to a bbq. Most of our friends would feel awkward turning up without anything. It's not poor hosting unless you are running a restaurant. A casual bbq in the garden isn't the same as a formal dinner party, either.
We have the biggest garden and enough space for all of the kids to roam around, so tend to be here. We usually provide salads, drinks and meat such as (chicken) sausages, turkey steaks and vegetarian options. If anyone wants red meat, they are asked to bring their own because we don't usually eat any.
I'd expect the bbq to be ready about 60 to 90 minutes after people have arrived.

About 20 mins after you throw your food on the bbq, which the event is centred around and will be up and running on arrival

Well like PP state, how can you eat immediately if bringing your food?

If we have a barbecue we would provide all food and it would be ready at a given time so we weren’t cooking loads whilst guests were there.

Bring your own meat barbecues ( or vegetarian) are quite normal for my friends for larger parties. Everyone gets to eat what they want, very little waste, and not too expensive for the host. If we invite 40 people then 10 don't turn up that's a lot of meat to find a home for. You also don't have that "how much should I allow for everyone" sinking feeling. I think you're more likely to get better cooked food as everyone is cooking their own, not one person trying to cook 50 sausages and 50 burgers.

Lighthearted: So what happens if you've brought Waitrose Finest burgers and someone brings Tesco Value burgers and you get served those do you just have to suck it up.

BYO is standard procedure in a South African braai. Host does all the salads and sides, guests bring dop and tjop. (Drinks and chops!)

Barbecues in our friend circle are pretty much some element of bring your own. Host usually provides some stuff and the basics but everyone brings some meat, buns, salad, drinks, etc. Pretty common!

I would expect to eat maybe an hour/hour and a half after arrival, not immediately.

I shouldn't worry too much as I doubt many will turn up.

Very poor form and cheap.

You are not really having a BBQ, just offering to cook and eat other peoples meat basically.

Food ongoing throughout the afternoon, but obviously the meat isn’t going to be served on arrival if guests are bringing their own. It’ll be served whenever it’s ready. Guests are arriving ‘from’ midday; this is a casual thing, not a sit down meal

Nothing wrong with BYO, it’s what people do when they aren’t loaded but want to see their friends and family, and saves wasting money on different foods to cater for different needs if people just bring their own.

I would expect mid afternoon onwards for any food that needs to be cooked.