Bbq etiquette

@SergeiL

Nope, not unusual here- sounds like every bbq I've been to too

This may be the case in some parts of the UK, but it is definitely not the case in Southern Hemisphere

I'm not in the "Southern Hemisphere". I am telling you my experience.

Right?!

This thread is bonkers.

As they are friends, why not ask them rather than have lots of random people guessing.

You genuinely can't understand that sometimes people have lunchtime or afternoon gatherings / parties ????

I think hosting in the Southern Hemisphere is just different overall.

Even when it’s not a BBQ, where everyone absolutely contributes food and drinks, everyone will contribute.

Turning up empty-handed to something is an absolute no no. And a bottle of wine as a gift for the host is not how it works here.

Even for a dinner party, people will contact the host to see what they can bring. Sometimes a host may say ‘just yourselves’ but even then, you’d still bring some cheese and crackers or other stuff for the pre-dinner platter, a baguette, something for the kids to have pre-dinner, some chocolates. And obviously wine, maybe some beers, etc.

But as often as not, a host might say, bring a salad / dessert, etc.

Guests always turn up laden down with contributions.

And no-one ever, ever expects to be fed the minute they walk through the door! Nibbles and drinks go on for a while. Food is rarely timed to served at X o’clock, it’s ready when it’s ready. Which is why the pre-dinner food is always plentiful, to stave off any hunger.

This may be the case in some parts of the UK, but it is definitely not the case in Southern Hemisphere countries.

Firstly, no one here would have a BBQ (real term - braai) with burgers. Burgers do not go on BBQs here. There is always a variation of meat.. chops, steak, wors (sausage, but not the banger kind), sosaties (kebabs), pork rashers,,ribs etc. Most people cannot afford to supply all of that for everyone, so it is an unwritten rule. You get told ... braai, my place, Saturday for the rugby.... There is no more discussion. You know to take your cooler boxes, one is filled with your drinks for the day/night and other contains the meat. No time is given, you get there before the rugby starts. Even though the host will supply salads etc, there may be a discussion of shall we bring that pasta salad everyone raved about last time, and hey do you guys have enough rolls.... and then in the cooler box that has space, a few bags of crisps will be chucked in, and probably some dips..... as we all know there is no way we are eating until AFTER the rugby.

We entertain outdoors a lot, all year really. So this... you who hosts must supply everything would not work here at all. We pick up the costs for ourselves for the meal, and the next weekend someone else will host and everyone does the same again. The food all gets put together and cooked together, so if you brought fillet and get rump, well its no biggie (to be fair no one is taking fillet tbh). And the person hosting usually gets the keep the leftovers, so they have a great breakfast and lunch the next day.

It is all very casual. Some of you seem to make out its a real formal affair, invites, eating at certain times, all food should be supplied. Can I suggest you make friends with a South African, so you can pull in for the rugby and then you will see. 😄

This.

Being a Saffer as well, I am quite aghast at some of these replies, ie how rude, if the host doesn't supply everything then they aren't going 😂

I have been to more bbqs in the UK than I can count up to, and unless it’s a very small gathering (under 6 people, more dinner party vibe), everyone takes a bottle and something for the bbq. The bbq is usually just an excuse for a party!

And do british people really not bring food to a BBQ? How odd!

My AIBU is I would expect to eat around 1 but my DH reckons people would expect it to be served on arrival

You're both cracked. Any BBQ I've been to with similar timings, you would expect food at 3. Or 4. Maybe 6.
It's mostly about the drinking anyway

I've never known anyone start that early. Arriving mid afternoon is typical. Guests bring drinks but no food unless its been requested.

Crisps, dips olives etc already out. Hot food served maybe from 4.30

Ok so you were commenting on other threads? I think you need to point that out and again, no one said provide all the meat wasn’t expensive, but providing a few burgers and sausages to get it started costs a few quid. As said from Asda you can get 8 burgers and 12 sausages for just over a fiver.

I wasn't talking specifically about BBQs - you get this on wedding threads where people talk about having a cash bar is somehow looked down upon.

However, it does add up. Meat is expensive. Then add in the salads and bread and puddings and soft drinks and it can cost over a week's shop for some families. Some people have budgets they need to live within.

Sometimes people have a the best home for hosting - maybe geographically in the middle of a spread out family or group of friends, or maybe a big garden or maybe a big open plan living space rather than 3 or 4 smaller rooms, or maybe better parking or maybe a dozen other reasons - not sure why they should always be the ones having to buy in all the food.

🤣 me, me ... Invite me!

Holds arm up with other arm to show keeness

D'oh, missed the update 🤣

If they don't squirt you with champagne from super soakers on arrival and slap you round the chops with a fillet mignon it's rude and poor hosting.

That's like inviting somebody to a roast dinner - we've done the veggies just bring your own meat and gravy 🤣

Yes!!! This is how it's done The unidentifiable cold meat bits are def a highlight

Sounds bloody fantastic!

Experience tells me to eat a fairly substantial brunch in advance.

From midday, I would assume means to arrive around 12:30-1pm. Food available from 2pm onwards, though maybe some snacks/nibbles on arrival.

Right. So they are providing the food.
That was confusing..