Eating the leftovers

YANBU
It's another way some mem absolve themselves of the mental load. I'm sure he'd complain when your food budget started to rise massively because you were cooking food then just chucking it coz he didn't fancy it. Unless you are very wealthy it's a ridiculous way to live. I don't think it's controlling as you are a family with a family food budget... he's not some random single man you are trying to tell what to eat for your own entertainment

I'm with you OP, food waste is just plain wrong. But if he wants mackerel, it's hardly worth arguing about.

I'd be annoyed at him starting a new loaf though, especially if he's only making toast. That's pretty self indulgent.

I agree with you op, hate food waste, and it's always women, the mothers, wives, partners who end up eating the banana that's going black, the dregs of the cereal packet, the broken biscuits, because the other feckers in the family open the new packet before the older stuff is finished.

Not in this house. Nobody opens a new thing until current one is open, it's a rule just like any other, if fruit looks like it's on the turn then we all have smoothies (usually made by teen or dh) or dh will make some banana bread. Both dh and I were taught to not open something until the other stuff is finished and if we didn't listen then his dad/my mum would just stop buying that cereal etc.

Dh always checks the freezer before we do a shop so if he's making something like chicken broth, he knows there's space to freeze leftovers because as much as I love broth, I don't like it three days in a row so he either does a big batch and freezes, or buys less and makes enough for the two of us (teen doesn't like)

When we do a bbq and there's leftovers then dh would be the one taking it to work for lunch. Very rare there's leftovers that would make one person have to eat it for days but if there was then whoever's turn it is to cook would probably bung it it with some pasta and a sauce or something so that it doesn't feel like the same cold meat for every meal. He'd never ever tell me off if I didn't want left over bbq and chose something else instead, because he'd know it would be used up anyway. He'd eat it instead of cheese sandwich for work or he'd use it in a diff meal.

Fil is the same, my brother and my stepdad too, That man once served us toad in the spag bol (yes you read that right) because there was some mince and half a tin of hotdogs to use up.

But it’s just two chicken breasts! Perfectly edible tomorrow. Very good ingredients for a dinner. One lunch made of mackerel is not causing a mountain of food waste.

But does there have to be express mention?
She doesn’t like food waste - whether it’s because of moral, economic or other reasons.
My point is that you’d think food costs alone might bring her Dh on side.

Oh jeez… just make the chicken, salad, and rolls for dinner. This is not a crisis or moral failure on anyone’s part.

There’s not one word about that being her motivation in any of her posts. You’d have thought she might have mentioned if it was.

Aren’t most people these days concerned about increased food costs?

Where has the op suggested any of this is because of budgeting?

YANBU to ask.

YWBU to insist.

YANBU
Given increased food prices I would think that your Dh would happily wish to avoid food waste - or is that just your problem?!

Some adults need policing.

I wouldn’t be in a relationship with someone who policed what I was eating. I also wouldn’t be in a relationship with someone who wouldn’t be involved with meal planning and cooking though.

Some adults need policing.

But then would the best way to prevent that type of food waste not be to sit down together and do some meal planning and then buy less food? If you’re regularly forcing yourself to eat raising and baby bel that you don’t want, maybe time to cut back on buying those products rather than sit eating them and feeling resentful.

I agree that wasting food is wrong. Adults should make their own choices not to waste food rather than policing what other grown ups are eating.

Nailed it! And at least 80% of the relationship threads with it.

I hate food waste and have three young kids. Sometimes all I want is a meal with proper boundaries, instead of one padded out with half a box of raisins, a sweaty babybel and the tired bit of a banana.

It never seems to enter my husband's mind - all excess straight in the bin. I almost envy him the obliviousness.

Food waste is wrong and unethical. Some people are too selfish though to see it and cry 'controlling'.

Not unusual at all, we're exactly the same!

To be honest, it's better the food from the bbq is used up first.

We plan evening meals together. I cook more because I like cooking more. Lunches are sorted separately. We add what we want to the list and it gets delivered, or bought by whoever has more time.

I’m intrigued by how many of the posters on this thread appear to be the sole provider of household food. DH and I both shop and cook. He more than me. Are we really that unusual? Most of the couples I know share cooking to some extent.

I think there has to be some give and take. If I make something I know DH doesn't like as much as I do, I expect to handle the leftovers myself (including freezing them, when possible), and he'll use up anything he cooks that I don't like.

But if there's another meal or two of leftovers of something we both eat, I'd be annoyed if he refused to join me in using them up. Exceptions made in the case of someone feeling ill and needing to eat something different, but if they regularly just fancy other food and leave me to eat the same leftovers for days, I'd find that annoying. I like leftovers, but some things do get dull after the second or third time.

I'd change how much I prepared, if it was happening too often, or just tell him, "We're having X tonight" (rather than asking or giving him a chance to come up with something else he wants to eat instead), possibly changing it or augmenting it slightly to make it feel like a different dish.

I don't care what my DH eats. It's up to him.

Eating food that isn’t nice to eat is no one’s job. If you’re regularly getting black bananas and you don’t use them in some way, buy fewer bananas?

So you'd just throw it away then? That's a great attitude - not.