Prom Queen??? Really??

Is that a good thing it's changed from a popularity vote to a sympathy vote . I'm all for inclusivity doing everything to support every individual but if every award is going to the 'most disabled' person does it not become patronising ?

Clearly the UK is a dog eat dog alternative universe.

@Florenz do schools have American football teams whose last home game is in October?

If not, then you can breathe a sigh of relief.

Prom kings and queens in my local high school have been students in the special Ed department for at least two decades now, or students who have overcome huge adversity, or students who have led campaigns for various improvements events in theschool, etc.

Students in the UK who are treating this as a validation of conventional popularity are way behind.

So many kids can't wait for the fancy dresses and suits and limos, but how can you do that now when it's unaffordable. Girls dresses have become hundreds, plus nails hair etc. i couldn't afford that, so they should tone it done so all kids can go and have fun

My son has his school prom end of next week. Headteacher would not agree they could have it at local hotel but insisted it must be held at school. She has organised a chip van to come and sent a letter home advising parents not to spend lots of money on expensive outfits. She has suggested smart casual is appropriate but no sports wear. My son is furious. He said some of the girls were so disappointed they were refusing to go.

Prom Queen. Rose Queen. May Queen. They are all the same kind of thing, Prom Queens are just the latest incarnation but not as churchy.
Way back yonder when I were a lass and way before Proms crossed the Atlantic, I was in the Rose Queen's retinue.
I vaguely remember that meant I got to follow her carriage on foot wearing a long yellow dress with flowers in my hair.
Looking back I think I probably only got chosen because my Grandma was a tailoress and made all the dresses. Though why I didn't get the top job is a mystery to me😋
I wasn't traumatised at not being the headline act and no therapy was needed.
It was just a bit of fun.

Yes, that was me. I moved two years ago and my youngest children moved schools during the beginning of lockdown. When they started the new school properly the teachers held a vote for various responsibilities for the school leadership teams, including prefects, playground monitors, reading helpers for the nursery/reception children, bully busters etc. I asked my children if they got voted for anything and they said the entire class voted for the two children in wheelchairs for every single role. It made it a bit awkward for the teachers as obviously they couldn’t perform every role. And they got voted for prom king and queen. Someone commented on my post saying ‘how patronising’. I’m not sure if they were referring to me or the kids? I’m just saying how it was and pointing out it’s not always the ‘prettiest and most popular’ competition. The kids just thought they were being nice 🤷🏼‍♀️

My DD just had her prom and did have a great night. I got off easier than most, in that she found a second hand dress she loved and I just had to pay to get in altered and dry cleaned (still nearly £100 though- lots of people paid £300 upwards). Then hair, make-up, nails etc. I am a single parent, no grandparent contributions etc. and it has been quite a lot to absorb cost wise when it all adds up. Some of the dresses/suits on show must have been heading way above the £500 mark.

It is easy to say you do not need to pay this but the reality is so many parents do and unless you are the most self-assured 16 year old it is going to cause anxiety about 'fitting in'. I work with impoverished young people and they already have a crap time compared to their peers through no fault of their own. Most 'choose' not to go- but the reality is they make this choice knowing the stretch on finances and as an already entrenched survival mechanism. We live in a very 'mixed' area so a huge variety in incomes and social status.

Add to that the school policy for attendance. There is the cost off the ticket and photos (free if 100% attendance, then sliding scale). Also based on not having too many comments/isolation. Again children from difficult backgrounds in which a family places no importance on attendance, cannot afford correct uniform, equipment or for what whatever reason is not in a place to make sure the child has the right pen/their planner every day are not in the same starting place. So it is not a bit of fun for a lot of children, mostly those whose life chances have been compromised since birth.

As for the 'prom king and queen thing' - absoultley not needed and seems a weird thing to do. They did it at DC's prom but no one knows who chose them and as soon as they found about about it, DD and friends said ' we are just all going to take the piss out of that'. Ended up it was a couple who have been together since 13 and when I talk to DC and friends from from what they say about them one seems an obsessive control freak who has major issues if the other speaks to a member of the opposite sex!

Wait, did someone just say that the Prom King and Queen were the two students who were wheelchair users??

At my prom they had an award for the "best looking girl" kinda makes me cringe, even to this day (12 years later).

This is pure snobbery. Call it a summer ball, the dresses/hair/nails/limos will be exactly the same!

I think proms are a good thing but I don't like the idea of voting for a prom queen. All the kids I know who have been to probs have really enjoyed them. They are a great excuse to dress up and have fun. You don't have to spend much money.

It's weird how we're supposed to be all about equality. Then suddenly, at prom time, a couple of school leavers are deemed to be somehow special.

How patronising.

@ChrisReasBathEggs a lot of teens today may find getting smashed and snogging on the beach cringey.

People change. Prom is now part of British schooling and has been for over 20 years (ever since I have been teaching).

It's a bit desperate and cringey. Don't understand why it's now a thing here. We just got smashed and snogged each other on the beach. Much more fun.

Ugghh...I **img hate the way we’ve imported proms from the US. I always thought we were too ironic and cynical.

Yes @TheGrumpiest goths do go to the prom. One girl this year wore a fantastic purple dress with a black lace bodice. Kids from every group to. Such varieties in outfits - lots of bright suits with t-shirts for all, girls in tux, flouncy frocks, slinky dresses, formal suits ...

They didn't do it at our school. Only a few couples at my sons and one at my daughter's- so picking a king and queen would have been odd. They just all wanted a fun evening dancing.
I just had lunch with an American girl who said no chance she'd be going to prom as it was still for couples in the States and she didn't imagine she'd get asked.

Do the Goths go to the prom? Oh, it's not 1986 anymore... <goes back to listening to Jesus and the Mary Chain>

When did proms in the UK become a thing? It's interesting really. You just wouldn't have got teens from my youth dressing up like this. It would have been social suicide. We all stuck to our tribes. Goths, Heavies (denim jackets plastered with heavy metal band badges), Surfies, Townies etc. Maybe the Townies would have gone for a prom? Maybe this was just where I grew up. If all these groups were thrown together for a school leavers prom it would have been carnage. I'm sure pigs blood would have been chucked about.

In someways it's quite nice to see young people dressing up and coming together to have fun? Maybe I'm naive as don't have teens.

Dds school opted for a summer ball this year for the 6th forms. It sounds much more civilised but in fact was exactly the same without the overkill on dresses and personal grooming.

'None of us are scarred' - have you asked everyone?

I don’t agree with prom king and queen and my daughter’s school had some sort of awful voting thing for ridiculous categories but I don’t really understand the uproar about proms and how it’s a new thing, I’m 46 and we had a leavers ball at 16 and I went to a convent!

So the winner of 'most likely to be on Love island'. How the hell does anyone think that's an okay prize to win.