DD10 bisexual

My 11 yo DS2 has been variously gay, straight and bi in the last year of primary as have most of his male and female friends

He tells me he is straight now.

Its a moveable feast at this age, so just go with it and don't worry too much. Doubtless they are all very similar.

It seems incredibly young to have a crush on anyone, I don't remember that at all from that age! Think I'd be a bit taken aback as the parent of the classmate as well (male or female). Maybe I have a shock coming to me in a few years time...

I have an 11yo, just about everyone in her class has come out as something or other so its really not unusual.

Just tell her it's fine to love who she wants, and its common for feelings to change one way or the other as she gets older and that's OK too.

I would also be aware about not being too heteronormative. Change your language around relationships to become neutral, and make sure she has access to books and programmes with a wide variety of characters in them.

I didnt realise how heteronormative books and programmes were until my older child came out, and it really made me think and change my ways.

A girl crush at age 10 does not mean she is bisexual.

It's not unusual for children to start thinking about their sexuality even though actually having relationships and sex is a long way off.
I would talk to her about relationships, sexual health and permission/boundaries in an age appropriate way.
If your DD's peer group are anything like my daughter's, curiousity about being bi or lesbian is not going to cause her any issues.
Be mindful of what she is looking at online though. Normal though these feelings might be, looking for information on the internet for these topics can quickly lead to material that she might find upsetting. Monitor her use for her own benefit..

Well done OP I've think youve narrowed down the issue. I have an 11 year old and would want her to focus on new friends not faffing about with love notes. I think many many people are a little bit bisexual. Just about all of my friends who are splitting up with their 30 year marriages are having a bit of girlie action and finding their bisexual side!

I had crushes on boys and girls at 10. I'm bisexual now.

Some people will have had the same feelings at 10 and not identify as bisexual as adults.

I wouldn't make this a bigger issue than it needs to be right now.

As someone else said, she's not acting on it and is just figuring out her feelings. I think it's good she spoke to you about it and feels able to do so.

Keep that lovely line of communication with her open.

It's all the rage but just seems really inappropriate to be defining sexuality at 10. It might be she actually is gay (people know that early on) and this bi phase is her way of dealing with it like a stepping stone.

I would be more concerned that she's wearing her heart on her sleeve so early into her arrival at a new school. I'd think this regardless of her sexual preferences.

without wanting to sound too arsey .. it's none of your business . if she wants to say bisexual right now then so be it. who she fancies is irrelevant to anyone else. if she told u she fancied boys would you be as concerned?

I guess the question is would you have a problem if it was a note to a boy? She's only10 so it's all going to be very innocent. I would just tell her you're always there if she wants to talk and then let her get on with it. It's great that she feels comfortable enough to be so open.

I think being bisexual at ten is irrelevant really because she's not going to be acting on her crushes/feelings at this point.

So just be supportive, don't make an issue of it and see what happens once puberty hits.

As regards her sharing all this at school, I would maybe just talk about her being a bit young at the moment for a relationship and encourage her to focus on school, hobbies and making friends.

I'd also have a look into/think about what she's watching/doing online and whether it's age appropriate.

I wouldn’t worry too much - it’s quite normal for kids to pass notes to a crush at that age, and the fact that she’s bisexual doesn’t really change that. You’ve done absolutely the right thing by being supportive and letting her express herself.

She may need the usual parental guidance on navigating friendships / crushes / relationships etc so just keep feelers out for that, but mostly this sounds like normal & innocent development to me.