Sorry, another "3rd child" one...

How did it turn out OP? X

I’ve been thinking about this a lot recently so this is an interesting thread.

My main concern is money so if I were in your situation and it wasn’t an issue I’d absolutely go for it. For me, the impact of two years of childcare fees between maternity pay and free nursery hours would be too much I think ... but I should do some sums to be sure

I am the third child with a similar gap. I had a happy childhood and it never occurred to me it was a big gap. We had fun together but I also played alone a lot. I was very sad when my siblings left home when I was a tween. I missed them a lot. Now we're in our 40s the age gap is nothing.

On the flip side, my brother (middle child) always resented my existence and that had a very bad effect on my mental health (and I imagine wasn't great for his either). It's taken me a long time not to feel guilty for existing.

Christ I couldn’t think of anything worse! You are at the fun stage with the older 2 and want to go back to the baby stage? Why?

Love that as a 4 we can do so much together as a family that simply wouldn’t be possible with a much younger child. Remember getting on ponies at a trekking centre all 4 of us another family had 2 the same age as ours plus a toddler so mum had to sit out with him. Encapsulated just what we didn’t want. Plus 2 teens is quite enough for anyone

These all relate to economics though, not the environment.

We can't have exponential growth to service an ever ageing population. The whole economic model will need to change.

The economic effects of a rapidly ageing population will hinder progress to a greener future.

I agree we need to think about the economic model (and lifestyle expectations) but failing to reproduce isn’t the way forward.

It’s hard to decide which is more foolish, having no children ‘for the planet’ (and contributing to the problem of an ageing population, yet presumably expecting to be cared for in later life by other people’s children ) or having one child (which suggests an unresolved ethical position).

The global population is predicted to start falling within the lifetime of the DC being born now, so I don't think individuals in the UK need to worry really about overpopulation.

@LaBellySausage class 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Mine are 4, 13 and 14. Feel like my 4 year old is an only child sometimes as the big two are not interested in him. Wouldn’t swap him for the world though he’s fab!

I have 2 with a 7 year age gap and I am older than you.

I wish people would shut up about the environmental impact of 3.

In parking threads nobody is shrieking that you shouldn't have a car in the first place.

In holiday threads no one is wailing that you should be camping at the bottom of the garden to save on jet fuel.

In recipe threads no one is saying "I can't believe you think veganism is environmentally friendly when those avocados have been flown in from Peru!"

In domestic violence threads nobody says "don't leave! 2 households has twice the carbon footprint!"

The OP has already pointed out that she is qualified to make an educated decision about her environmental impact, and is in fact part of the solution for a sustainable future.

This ONLY ever comes up in children threads and it is a massive bore.

So in summary: fuck off!

I’m 40, my kids are 10, 8 and 1. We are so happy we did it. We did buy a bigger car, we had a spare room so stayed in our house.
Yes, it’s hard to coordinate activities. My husband takes the big kids and I take the bubba. Or we get childminding for Bubs on holidays. Yes that’s inconvenient/harder.
BUT the dynamics of our family have changed for the better. She really completes us. The older two can bicker, but everyone loves the baby! She’s a circuit breaker. It’s shown me a gorgeous side of my 10 year old son. He dotes on her!
It helps that she’s a darling. Our school is K-12 anyway, so the argument of high school and kindergarten doesn’t matter - it will still be one drop off.
I’m for it, as long as you can afford some extra help, which minimises the compromises the older kids need to make.

I have 4, they are 12, 13, 14 and 15 and honestly, I think you'd be mad. Put everything into the two you've got as when they get a bit older it will be full on.

We had our third DD in September. I’ll be 36 this year.

Our children are DD1 - 15, DD2 -7 and DD3 6mths. The age gap works well for us. Have never regretted it.

I think 3 children is the ideal so I say yes.
A gap between the first two and the baby sounds great too. I know families who've done it and it's brought the older two together.
I'm jealous. I'm 45 with two children under three and realistically a third is close to impossible at my age. I wish I was a youngster of 36.

We can't have exponential growth to service an ever ageing population. The whole economic model will need to change.

Slightly different scenario but our eldest was 9 when DC2 arrived after struggling to conceive for years. It then felt like we had created two only children despite them being full siblings, hence DC3. Had we had our first two close together in age like you I wouldn’t have planned a third to be so much younger.

Quite. It never seems to factor into anyone's thinking which is very sad

Because I don't see how it makes the slightest difference if I have 3 instead of 2 children?

I have exactly that gap op...my dc are now 12, 10 and 3.

We're also in a 3 bed house but I have 3 boys. The oldest 2 share the largest double, dh and I have the next biggest and ds3 has the single.

I love the age gap so far. My oldest 2 are incredibly close but I wouldn't say ds3 felt left out at all. The oldest ones are lovely with him, happy to play with him and let him join in. He even has his own small tub of toys that they keep in their room (at their suggestion) as there's more floor space in their room and they're happy for him to be in there with them and play.

I also love how having ds3 has kind of 'extended' ds1s childhood. You know all those things you kind of secretly still want to do at 12/13 like climb big soft play stuff, playgrounds etc, but you feel a bit too old? Ds1 has the perfect excuse now so he can 'watch ds3 for me' on the playground, help him in feeding baby lambs at the farm park or whatever it is . But in case any of his mates see him doing uncool stuff, he has the get out clause of 'oh I'm just watching my brother' 😂

Nearly due with third here. Other DC are 7 & 5. I always wanted 3, generally really excited about it, as our kids and DH and think I’ll definitely feel “done” once he arrives!

Africa’s population is aging and it needs social protection

How Does Japan’s Aging Society Affect Its Economy?

China’s Aging Population Is a Major Threat to Its Future

It’s not as simple as just not having babies.

SomethingOnce people in non Western countries are more than already compensating for that, just saying

My understanding is that birth rates are falling across the world, a trend that is likely to continue.

And I’m not clear what bearing the existence of less aged populations in non-Western countries has on the issues arising from ageing populations in Western countries.

Getting a dog is a completely different thing from having a baby.

Until recently, I’d have said the same.

Tbh, from the number of two-child-plus-barely-trained-dog families round here, I’d say a few people regret not having a third.

What? Getting a dog is a completely different thing from having a baby. We'd like to get a dog in the future because we'd like a dog for a pet, not to replace a third baby that we're choosing not to have.