Lost my temper and was a bit rough with toddler.. Feel awful

I was going to say this too.

Stick to the bed routine. Even if she won't sleep just stand in the dark in the bedroom. Don't give in and come down to the living room, you need to stick to the routine.

Good luck x

I know this is an old thread but I just did the same with my almost 14 month old as he was fighting his nap when very sleepy. I felt terrible and all in tears. Reading this thread especially the post by @flatulencebythebucket really helped me feel a lot better. Thank you to all you mummies for rallying around. God when they fight with all their small bodily might and cry loudly, it's so triggering.

You are making it too hard for you self. What you 'did' to your kid is nothing. Weve all been there.

But stop trying to get her to sleep outside the cot and then put her back sleeping

Put her in awake. And let her cry. She is 18 months she can cry for a bit. She is in a safe environment and is only crying because she doesnt want to and by you then taking her out again you are just maintaining the problem. Stop doing that to yourself.

Oh op I know the feeling. I snapped once and shouted at my toddler. I still remember her stunned face. Then she started crying silently :(

It's a horrible feeling but you're only human and you're doing your best.

Don’t worry about last night at all. I’m sure everyone has had a point where the children have nearly broken them. I’m not sure though that they way you’ve responded to the sleep regression is the most helpful for you. Offering her the chance to play etc is potentially a bit confusing. I’ve found with my 17m old she’ll get a second wind on the days she really tired and be a bit of a pain before bed (lots of energy etc) but she’s just learnt to play for a bit in her cot to unwind. I’m sure it’s around this age that I started leaving a book in my eldest’s cot.

The habits you get into now may well stick for a while and you have to have an eye to when you can’t contain them within 4 bars of a cot.

Please don't worry, OP. You're fine.

Why were you doing this unsupported for three hours? Where was your DH?

When dd was a baby and one might she would not sleep and kept crying and I could not work out why. I put her in the car and drove round and round until she was asleep. Then carried her car seat in and put her in cot.

This is normal. Most have done it if they're honest.

It may be time to drop one of her naps, if she still naps/has more than one nap. Mine was only napping once at that age. Whenever she became difficult to get to sleep at night it was always simply because she wasn’t tired enough.

Or put her to bed later? Mine went to bed around 10pm at that age, as she just wouldn’t sleep any earlier! She goes to bed earlier now she doesn’t nap. Just go with it; life is so much easier.

Could you try sitting with her in her darkened room, with her in your lap - instead of taking her into the sitting room where (I assume) there will be light, noise and distractions? Make it as soothing as possible, then you will only have a short distance to transfer to the cot....

You have my every sympathy mine was horrendous at that age (and younger).
I found bath times actually seemed to wake him more when he was going through that stage and so bathed him in the mornings or afternoons.
Baby massage in a quiet, darkened room also helped loads.
I hope things get better for you soon

Try the 20 min rule, put her down let her cry for 20 mins, go back Lie her down cover her up , leave again for 20 mins , repeat etc, taking a child back into the living room or other area does not work, your doing great, be strong 💐

If you put her in her cot and she screams it may only last a few minutes. It feels awful but it’s better for her to be asleep after screaming for a short time than still awake three hours later when she’s exhausted. Sending hugs, that tiredness and despair is awful, we’ve all been there and you didn’t do anything bad at all. If you can bear to let her cry a bit then try that.

Maybe try putting her in cot at 8 pm . ?
Dont take her out
She might rage a bit but just say quiet bed time.

The best tip I had at this tricky time was never to bring them out of their room. They see the sitting room as an "awake and playing" place.

Keep her in her bedroom so it's boring. Don't chat to her too much.

Absolutely don't dwell on what's happened. You said she was smiling so obviously not hurt, and you recognised you needed to step away. Definitely don't think bringing her downstairs is going to help the situation, letting her play etc, so many mixed messages when the aim is bedtime.

Please please don't beat yourself up about this. Just move on and don't dwell on it. We have all been there when we're tired and at the end of our tether and our patience is thin. Your fully aware you wasn't your usual self, you never harmed your LO.

There's no book on how to parent, we just have to try our best.

It's ok OP to be tired. It's hard bloody work. Start tomorrow afresh. If I was in your shoes and your LO is like it tomorrow put them in the cot and sit with them, soon as they think they've won (coming down stairs or in your bed) your on a losing battle. Sit with them and reassure, hand hold, talk, soothe and cuddle them but keep them in the cot. Hopefully they'll settle back to normal in no time. Xx

All been there. Ignore anyone that says otherwise. Don’t let the little buggers, I mean cherubs beat you! And don’t look at them whilst they’re asleep. They are so bloody cute and angelic! It’s nature conning you. Drop the guilt and treat yourself. Self care is the way to be the best mum you can.

Oh OP its understandable for you to feel exhausted and stressed. Every mother had moments like that and it sounds as though you realised you crossed the line in time and handed her to your DP to take over.
Don't keep beating yourself up about it but familiarise yourself with the signs you're about to loose your temper so you can cool down before it gets to that point. I start feeling pressure in my head before I get very angry at DD . I screamed at her on one occasion to "Get to your room NOW!!" And the poor thing got such a fright she fell trying to run away Actually broke my heart. Since that happened I'm now aware of how my body reacts and if I feel the pressure in my head I step away for a moment and do breathing exercises to calm down. We are all human and make mistakes but learn from this so it doesnt happen again.