Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Was I wrong?

86 replies

Daet · 11/03/2020 13:42

At the checkout queue earlier, I asked the man behind me if he’d like to go in front of me - he had about 4 items, I had a trolley full. He gratefully accepted.

But the woman behind him said “you may have time to spare, not all of us do”.

I just said I was sorry and turned away. I’ve never thought of it from her point of view before, I’ve always thought I was doing a helpful thing.

Don’t do it in future or carry on as usual?

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
tiggerkid · 30/05/2023 21:04

Went mad and replied to old thread Bear

tiggerkid · 30/05/2023 21:01

This reply has been withdrawn

This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

AlpacaGoodnight · 11/03/2020 19:10

She musn't be able to count to 2!

Daet · 11/03/2020 19:00

Maybe she doesn’t vote Suburban .

Glad most of you also don’t see where she was coming from!

OP posts:
SuburbanFraggle · 11/03/2020 17:46

Her vote counts the same as yours in elections

GruciusMalfoy · 11/03/2020 17:29

It didnt affect her time waiting at all, I'd have told her to mind her own business.

Lou670 · 11/03/2020 17:13

[confused} As others have said, same waiting time! I always do this for people.

Carry on being thoughtful and kind. If you have overlooking something then we all have on here!!

Selmababies · 11/03/2020 15:54

I'm surprised that 3% have voted on her and also not realised that it made no difference whatsoever to the stupid woman who thought her waiting time would be increased by your kind gesture.

viques · 11/03/2020 15:47

You did a kind thing OP, and most of us would do the same .though I have directed people with one or two items to the self service checkouts if I think they are being puppy eyed and pa by queuing behind me then asking if they can go in front

NoMoreDickheads · 11/03/2020 15:33

She still had both you and the bloke in front of her, so it didn't change how quickly she got served which order you were in. She wasn't thinking that through Grin Maybe she was hangry and needed food.

Andtwomakesix · 11/03/2020 15:25

You didn't ask him to come ahead of her so it changed nothing for her surely?!! I always offer and am thankful when others let me do that. The time it takes me to load everything on the belt, it's easier to let the person behind with a couple of things go pay while I do that. keep being nice I say...

ArgumentativeAardvaark · 11/03/2020 15:19

Diagram

Was I wrong?
ArgumentativeAardvaark · 11/03/2020 15:17

To give her the benefit of the doubt, maybe the situation was this: OP, basket man and complaining woman all walking to checkout at same time. Complaining woman is behind OP and basket man is approaching OP and her from the side, but it’s not 100% clear whether basket man is going to be able to slip into the queue behind OP before complaining woman gets there and claims the space (with basket man forced to go behind complaining woman). OP stops and waves him through in front of her, so in complaining woman’s eyes OP has allowed basket man to go first when his rightful place was at the back of the queue behind complaining woman.

However I think possibly CW was simply “a moron who doesn’t understand how time works” Grin

Walnutwhipster · 11/03/2020 15:15

She's batshit. It made no difference to the time she'd have waited.

mimbleandlittlemy · 11/03/2020 15:12

Obviously she missed the logic bus when it pulled up at her stop this morning. You did a nice thing and she was as mad as a badger.

Brefugee · 11/03/2020 15:10

don't be daft - she had the same number of people and the same number of items in front of her. Smile and wave in situations like this.

rayoflightboy · 11/03/2020 15:04

Maybe she was annoyed you didnt let her go in front as well.But thats her lookout.

Winterlife · 11/03/2020 15:00

She sounds like an idiot who just wanted to make trouble. She would wait the same amount of time if he were in front of, or behind you.

BlackSwan · 11/03/2020 15:00

She's just soooo important.

dontgobaconmyheart · 11/03/2020 14:58

Take comfort OP, that there are people in the world you can't work our basic concepts of time, and that you aren't unfortunate enough to be one of them out embarrassing yourself!

Daet · 11/03/2020 14:54

I only apologised because I thought I’d obviously overlooked something - couldn’t imagine why she’d be annoyed otherwise! I should’ve asked her what it was I’d “overlooked”!

Anyway - thank you all :).

OP posts:
AvonBarksdale99 · 11/03/2020 14:49

You should have said: ‘If you can explain how exactly this loses you time, then I’ll not only let you go ahead of me, I’ll pay for your shopping”

Krong · 11/03/2020 14:49

You did a courteous thing.

Stop being a woman and apologising for things that you don't need to apologise for!

We all need to stop saying 'sorry' when we don't need to be.

northernlittledonkey · 11/03/2020 14:43

She's the batshit one, you were being friendly and polite. I sometimes do the same and really value it when it's done to me.

userxx · 11/03/2020 14:42

I really wish she had said that to me :) What an idiot.