Confront over cheating or walk away immediately?

I think if you look at the dates of the thread she probably ghosted him 5 years ago.

Hi, OP -

I am glad you are going to gather your strength. Then ghost him if you like. If you will feel better contacting him with a final message you have some great options hete, or perhaps you will come up with something even better. Then block him and delete his contact info!

I agree with PPs that confronting this waste of space would fail to provide closure and likely induce self doubt. You deserve better.

You could just go with "eeww... turns out you're a sad old sleazebag. Goodbye."

I still prefer my message on the 1st page

Ghosting's too subtle. Tell him his behaviour's unacceptable and you deserve better.

I know you're fucking around. We're done. Never contact me again.

Then block before he can respond. You're not interested in his excuses.

Haha thanks! Wish I could say this wasn't from experience. Hope the next one is less of a turd xx

Yay @Whyyounoeatmypie

Excellent message

Ghost 👻 👻

Ugh what a wankpuffin. I wouldn't meet him in person or speak on the phone, just send a really direct message stating how it's going to be:

hi wankpuffin, seen you're on a few sites amd asking around for sex. Obviously we've talked about this and I've said I wouldn't be happy to continue seing you if you were still doing this. You've both broken my trust and knowingly endangered my sexual health, so I'll be leaving things here. Please don't contact me again, I don't want to discuss.

Then delete all traces. Closure is best, and people are too used to indirectness in dating - you should let him know the consequences and have no obligation to do anything more.

I would adopt a friendly tone and just say "How's Tinder going for you?" And let him squirm. You have your friend as backup if he denies it.

@Whatafoolihavebeen ... this is really not about you at all. No one was ever going to be "enough" for him right now because he is really obviously lacking in something quite significant.

People who have got their shit together just don't treat other people like this because they don't need to and why on earth would you want to unless you were pretty fucked up? He is currently unable to "see" anyone beyond himself and people like that are so difficult to have in your life - total vampires.

I've said it before and I'll say it again - "Two months ago he told me he’d been on an online dating website just looking around and chatting". Two months ago he showed you who he was and that was the time to say - hang on, why would someone who gives a shit about anyone but themselves not only do that but tell me about it to test my reaction? There's no talking or rationalising to be done here unfortunately - Game Over. Don't feel foolish about not doing that 2 months ago though - I have also been there and allowed a man to get away with something very similar and yes it really stung when I subsequently found myself in your position... but it taught me a great lesson and I never made that mistake again and it really served me well.

For the right person you will always be enough. This person wasn’t for you but maybe he has taught you something that you needed to know, that’s one way to look at it x

I’m sorry to hear this. Perhaps book yourself some counselling to give yourself some power back and self esteem.

This is him showing his self and nothing to do with you or your worth.

What have you decided to do op? How are you feeling now? I mentioned Matthew Hussey on another thread the other day but his videos are really good, all about valuing yourself and having more confidence. You could google him. He’s on insta and Facebook as well x

I think a lot of men (my ex included) love being in a relationship and getting to have the intimacy and the closeness... and also want the excitement of dating and new women. They tell themselves that they're careful and won't get caught.
When the relationship ends because of lies, they are upset but do the same thing again and again anyway.
OP, you need a clean slate so ghosting isn't the best option (though it might sound like it), if you think he might come chasing an answer.
Send him a text so he knows you're done. Something short and to the point like "I know you've been setting up dates with other women. I'm not interested in taking this relationship further. Don't contact me again." Then block.

*pissed off

Sounds to me like you're looking for a reason to let him off the hook. Don't bother wasting any more your time. He's a player that's all you need to know. Forget this bla bla bla about confronting him, he's a liar and a cheat so you're never going to get any truth out of him. The only way to deal with him is to give him a taste of his own medicine. Don't even bother going to the trouble of blocking him, he's not that important... just totally ignore him. You're busy! Don't tell him that, show him by your actions. He's so unimportant to you that you don't even bother to hit one key on your keypad in response. If you respond to him i can almost guarantee you'll be the one who ends up totally screwed over and feeling kissed off. Head held high don't give him another thought. This life is not a dress rehearsal, don't waste your time.

Personally I would probably send him a message something like: "We agreed to come off online dating websites and that we would be exclusive. You haven't stuck to this agreement, therefore our relationship is over. Do not contact me again."

And then block, don't give him a chance to make excuses and wheedle his way back in. You would never be able to trust him. Don't tell him how you know, either.

Believe me, I know OP - the reason you've had so many replies is that so many people have been there (either those who've responded to you or their close friends). It stings of course because it was lovely to be enjoying intimacy with someone and it's fucker when that rug is pulled out from under your feet so suddenly but, really... and this is important...NO REGRETS. You had fun over the summer and it's a shame that your hopes this was going to become something more than that must now come to an end but that doesn't take away from the fact you had fun and now the summer is over it's time to draw a firm line under it all and move on. There is no benefit in dragging it out now (in the form of confrontations, second chances or ruing the time you spent with him) - total waste of energy and the longer you do that, the longer it takes for you to meet someone truly deserving of your care.

Nah you've not been together long enough for that shit get rid of him without a second thought.