Your partner / husband isn't for conversation. This is what your friends are for. Aibu tojust find this so depressing?

I'm sorry OP, it doesn't look good. It might be that your relationship is coming to a natural end as you realise you want more in the way of companionship than this man can provide. He's not bad or nasty or abusive, just a bit of a bore, but that doesn't mean you should settle for him.

I have the opposite problem. My husband seems to think that being able to have interesting conversations about the news, or whatever, is the ONLY thing that a marriage needs. Things like knowing who I am, remembering important events in my life, having my back, being on my side, emotional connection, supporting instead of killing my ambition. These things he doesn't do.

But he thinks I should still want to be married to him because we have 'interesting' conversations.

The trouble with your DH being your best friend is when he leaves you, you've not just lost your partner but the person you would automatically turn to when something catastrophic (like losing your partner) happens.

We go out for meals and sit in silence. I try to make conversation but just get grunts. Am resigned to it now. In a few years I'll just get my phone out instead - don't think he'll notice.

Is he chatty with other people?

I've often said that I wish a lot of Women in my circle would wake up and see that they get more out of their female friendships than their relationship.

Even if he isn't big on conversation, you should be enjoying special moments and having a laugh together.

Your not happy and by the sounds of it, few would be, that needs to be properly discussed and changes need to be made.

It does sound a bit like you’re mismatched. But it is so easy to get lazy about these things. And if you’re a bit tired of life you can end up zoning out in front of the telly. Is it a habit that he could get into again if he wanted to?

At least he could make an effort when going out for dinner or things like that. I hate having to launch and carry a convo when eating out or - with friends.

My dh is somewhere in between, he isn't my best friend but he is my most trusted confidante. We sometimes have a nice chat but there are also times when he doesn't want to talk and I have to accept that. I can talk for 24 hours although as I've got older I have started to appreciate having quiet moments and silence where we just sit together reading and say nothing. On the whole I'm happy with the balance but every now and again it does annoy me as the gossip I have is so good!

Op I could say pretty much same thing. The thing is my DH can be very chatty when he wants too.

Its lonely sometimes yes. DH is wonderful in so many other ways though, but it does really rankle me. Its almost like when we have been on holiday he is so more chatty but then back at work he works in reasonable solitude and its like he falls back into not talking.

My OH doesn't chat much. We don't have many riveting conversations.
We have been together nearly 30 years and are very happy.

Its not bleak or boring. Its just what it is.
Different things suit different people. If it means that much to you then yes, you need to reconsider your options.

You're not married to him. If you don't have children together (I couldn't tell from your posts) do you have to stay with him?

Shame about your ex - it sounds like he was far more suitable for you.

Mine won’t stop talking. I quite like a bit of silence so I’m sometimes a bit overwhelmed. I wouldn’t have it any other way most of the time though. He’s currently trying to bring up our upcoming trip to a festival as a family into every conversation - I think he enjoys taking about it - I’m apprehensive and don’t intend to spend six weeks discussing tent location preferences!!

YANBU

Yanbu that is a weird attitude. If you don’t really talk what is home life like? Dh and I are both fairly anti-social but we talk each other’s legs off.

Do you sit down and eat dinner together each night or do you sit in front of the telly. I only ask this, because sitting and eating together sort of makes you have to have a conversation. and it's a good starting point.
We can all get stuck in a rut.
have you talked to him about this ? was he always like this?
I couldnt live with it. but many people do.

I would never, ever have married (or indeed fancied enough to shag) someone who I didn't have interesting, stimulating conversation with, who made me laugh and who wasn't willing to chat about both the big and the small stuff.

However, I do agree with you that some people do have a 'you can't expect your partner to also be your friend' attitude - I find that these tend to be people who are heavily invested in traditional gender roles, and so have a 'men are from Mars, women are from Venus' mindset where men and women can't be friends and genuine fun is only found in single-sex groups. In fact, I think it must be a necessary part of that belief to have no friends of the opposite sex in general, as I can see why you might believe (though I don't agree) that you can only really share interests and deep chats with other women, but not how you could do this with some men but not your partner (sorry for v heterocentric language, but I've never met a same sex couple who expressed this view that your partner isn't your friend, so I don't know how they would sustain it!).

I wouldn't have married him if he wasnt the person I most enjoy talking to.

I wouldn’t want to be with a man I couldn’t have good conversations with.

This is a genuine question and I’m really interested... if you don’t talk to your partner, they don’t have opinions on anything etc then what do you get from the relationship?