Two terminations in one year

It takes 2 to tango. It’s not all on you. Best thing you can do is move on with your life, find a form of contraception that works and get someone to speak to get help with your anxiety etc. Don’t beat yourself up about this. Wishing you all the best 💐

Zombie thread

We're both ur abortions medical abortions? I had one 9 months ago , noe think I'm pregnant again so will be wanting another medical abortion

and strength!

When you’re settled down, talk to DP about contraception (his options) so that you don’t have to go through such a tough time again.

You will be very fertile at the moment, so be aware. Look after yourself.

No need to feel guilt at all.
But easier not to go through it again. Please don't have sex because you feel you are letting him down. And if you do then he needs to use a condom. Contraception shouldn't just be your burden to bear.

Just wanted to give you these OP and to say how nice it is to hear you sounding more positive.

Hope all goes well next week.

I am still following.

So sorry you’re going through this. I went with a friend when she had a termination and she asked them to insert a Mirena at the same time. It’s stopped her terrible periods and PMT completely. Maybe have a think about that and I really hope you feel better soon

bambambi you will be okay doing this at the time when it can be done.

You and DP are a team, maybe he can't come with you to the appointment but afterwards the pair of you can take steps to help you get well again and manage your anxiety. I've struggled with anxiety too and you can get help via the NHS, maybe bit perfect but worth a try.
Also take steps not to get pregnant again in the near future, for your own sake. You don't have to have sex but if you want to for you, not just for your partner, then be careful.

The clinic will be used to people attending alone and will be extra kind to you.

You have no judgement from me and I'd suggest you ignore anyone who does judge, they are not you.
I've had 2 failed IVFs this year and various other fertility treatments and 100% support your right to this medical procedure that you need. I will be hoping it all goes smoothly for you. 💐

I will say I hope the option of legal safe terminations will soon be available for the women of Ireland after their referendum tomorrow.

Glad it went OK, op - and for an easy recovery.

OP

Wishing you all the best. Be kind to yourself, OK?

Ah OP

Have the abortion
Forgive yourself
Get some antidepressants and some birth control
And abstain from sex till it’s sorted

It’s a horrible sad thing . It’s so unfair sometimes

Don't beat yourself up, I think realistically the Dr will just say we need to consider some long term contraception to prevent this happening again. So maybe the implant, just because it's meant to last so many years, you can have it out when you wish.

Don't blame yourself, you're really struggling, if anything you need a bit more support, possibly with HV coming to you, then getting GP to visit if you're going to struggle leaving the house. You possibly might benefit from a CPN, which is a nurse who specialises in mental health, who works in the community. They can get staff who can prescribe to come out to you.

Wishing you all the best.

Accidents happen and they can happen twice.
You need to do what’s right for you, take care

Just another voice of support here. I can totally relate to the anxiety. I'm sure your doctors will want to support you too. Good luck.

I am struggling a week on and I read something on there that I will not copy as it’s not fair in op.
Yes it was a womans view now, but has me sobbing.

To clarify, when I say the boards are pro choice, I don't mean that every single person using them is pro choice. It's a public forum, like MN, made up of real people sharing real experiences, and if course some people will have come through that experience and been left with anti choice views. But it is pro choice in the sense that it's moderation policy does not allow any discussion of pro vs anti choice views, and does not allow any posts or comments on posts that promote anti choice views. It's also, unlike many other (usually religious) post abortion healing sites, not just for people who don't ever want another termination. There's no "let us help you find forgiveness and never do it again" agenda. I'm not sure what stories you've seen, and I didn't see whatever the PP wrote, but unless their moderation policy has dramatically changed any post that was anti choice would be removed pretty sharp.

Of course the mods are only human and some things might slip through the net. We may also disagree on what a pro choice moderation policy looks like. It's a fine line to walk trying to keep a space safe for everyone, without stopping people from expressing themselves and grieving in their own way. One of the things the forum is big on is not dismissing or minimising people's feelings regarding their pregnancy. So a comment about how it was "just a bunch of cells" wouldn't be allowed any more than a comment judging the woman for her termination.

Anyway, I still highly recommend that forum to anyone struggling after a termination, and I have always found it to be a very safe, non judgemental, and well moderated place. But any one using it should take care of themselves there as they would in any other public online space by not reading anything they find triggering and reporting anything that breaks moderation guidelines.

NordicNobody

Some of those stories on that board are not pro choice. Well beiled they are I know it’s peoples own stories but one woman says all
the okd cliches a bit like the awful
Pp. I am sure some of it us helpful but some stories can make you feel worse.

And yes, because it's a second time for you in one year (honestly, that is so tough on you), your DP needs to think about contraceptive as well... he too needs to take action, not you alone.

No judgement here, you poor soul.

I struggled with (suicidal) PND after DC2 and to say it's a beast is a massive understatement. At the best of times, I have difficulty keeping appointments with the GP. At the worst of times, I just never showed up. I can completely relate to your feelings of anxiety and how life inhibiting it all is. You feel buried by it. Know that there is another side to all of this, a better day ahead. But it takes time and effort to get there.

No one will make you keep the baby. Your body, your choice. I'm sorry you have to face this right now. Remember, your GP is there to support you. That is his/her role, which is sometimes hard to remember when you're suffocated by depression/anxiety.

Please do talk to your DP, and suggest that he needs to stock up with condoms if he wants you both to enjoy sex again.

If your dp is wonderful and loving then he wants to know how you’re feeling so he can try and help.

Please talk to him. This isn’t and shouldn’t be your burden to carry alone.

I strongly recommend you check out these links. The first is a website for post abortion emotional healing, the second is a support forum by the same people.

afterabortion.com

passboards.org

It's not uncommon to feel the way you felt towards sex and bc after an abortion, and not uncommon for that to lead to a second pregnancy and termination. The boards are 100% secular, 100% pro choice, and very very heavily moderated so you will never have an upsetting or judgemental reply to anything you post, and everything comes with lots of trigger warnings so you don't have to read about anything you don't want to. A lot of effort has gone into making it a very safe space and you'll be amazed at how many people share your experience. I often hear people talking on here about how someone should "just get an abortion" as if it's no big deal and everyone just breezes through it without any emotional aftermath, but for a lot of women that's just not true. Even if you're 100% confident with your choice it can still hurt like fuck and take a long time to recover from. So check out those links, get some support in real life as well if you can, and please be gentle and kind to yourself.