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AIBU?

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Original poster

counsellors who are no good at their jobs

104 replies

Kim666 · 30/09/2017 16:04

Over the years I have had a few counsellors. My experience is that it's a bit of a myth that there are these wonderful nonjudgmental people out there who just want to help.

I had one who when I mentioned that I'm unemployed she said "As far as I'm concerned, anyone who really wants a job can get one". First of all that's not true, secondly why would she say that?

I know some people will say that all counsellors will be good at their jobs, but they might just not suit you. Some will say that the problem must be with you.

I've heard things about people's experiences of counsellors that make me think there are people doing that job who shouldn't be doing it. A woman who was grieving the loss of a pet was told that she's just being stupid because it's just an animal. The boy who'd been abused who was told several times that when he grew up he would be an abuser too.

I'd like to know other people's experiences. I suspect that articulate middle-class people are less likely to have a problem.

OP posts:
DJBaggySmalls · 30/09/2017 16:32

YANBU. I know several people who were told they must confront their abuser, & that the death of a pet is nothing to get upset about.

On a less serious note I once saw a psychiatrist who freaked out when I told him we had pet rats as he had a terrible phobia about them, and I ended up having to reassure him that I hadnt touched them before our session Grin

missarcher · 30/09/2017 16:27

I've seen 7 and out of those 7 there's only 3 I actually got on with and would see more twice (I have a 2 session rule, if at the end of 2 sessions things still don't feel right with that person then I walk away)

Bombardier25966 · 30/09/2017 16:14

I don't think every counsellor is good at their job, but I do hear many stories where people have focused in on certain words the counsellor has said, lost the context, and the recounted conversation become something very different to what it actually was.

I don't believe a counsellor told a victim of abuse that they would be an abuser too. What may (or may not) have happened was a conversation about how some abuse victims do go on to abuse (in the context of their abuser), and he has taken that to heart and made it personal to him.

It's easy for things to become twisted when we are emotional. I remember seeing a psychiatrist and being very upset that he'd told me to get a job (I had one), whereas in hindsight he'd talked about how work can help people with depression.

I wouldn't judge any of the given scenarios without being a party to the original conversation.

ilovesooty · 30/09/2017 16:07

I'm a counsellor and fully accept that there are people practising who shouldn't be.

There are excellent practitioners too.