I am stunned at this wedding list

I can't see why you wouldn't want to buy presents for a couple that you cared for and liked as they celebrated the fact that they had found a life partner

I can't imagine anyone counting up the amount they had spent 20 years back

I can't imagine wanting to have that kind of friends

Actually Cappucino when I got married 100 years ago to Hubby1, I DID get lots of Portmeiron. My marital home was full of the stuff. [cringe] Then long after we divorced I sold it all and bought myself a lovely WHITE dinner set.

But I also dressed in Laura Ashley all the time and had decorative borders in my bedrooms. The late 1980s were SO floral...

we are going to ask for money because we have everything for our home, ived here a year now and the things we do need like a fence to keep our kids in the garden, a new couch (ours was donated by my grans friend its pea green velour and 15 years old ) arent likely to be bought as presents

i know some people find it offensive but i hope when we ask it will be ok. we are going to ask face to face too not on an invitaion or wedding list as i think that face to face is more polite.

I'm sorry but I'm going to have to go mp before I hit you - I can't even respond to that post without violence

you are a completely unsympathetic f*cker today

I was very good with the thank you cards
[smug emoticon]

But Cappucino wedding presents aren't supposed to be an economic token to help the poor middle-aged married couple who have buggered up their lives

They are supposed to be helping people set up home for the first time

If they are that poor, don't spend any money on a wedding

god mp I am glad that you said that

I was imagining your house full of the stuff

I don't mind lists or cash requests and I don't think it matters if it's a second marriage either
You don't have to give anything if you don't want to

What I do object to is people not sending thank you cards

in response to Blu's question, I'd argue that second marriages need more presents

there are more likely to be kids involved and therefore no money. There are more likely to be responsibilities and therefore no money.

Buying two 25-year-olds presents who work full time with no kids is a cheek really. Buying household goods for the wedding of a single parent, to use my mum as an example, who has struggled to bring up her kid on her own and as a result has a load of knives with the handles missing to eat her tea with is far more worthwhile.

We sent out invitations to the wedding & that's it. We didn't ask for anything but the presence of our friends & family. If someone asked us what we would like as a gift, we told them about the list we had set up (which had a large range of prices). I felt uncomfortable with it because the idea was to celebrate our marriage, not send round a begging bowl! Some people came from far away so their journey to the wedding was a gift in itself.

Hate to sound sanctimonious but expecting gifts is really naff imo.

money for an extension?!!!
why don't you buy them a self-build book
and teabags for the builders - great idea

ROFL have just looked up Portmeiron Soup Tureen

It is the UGLIEST thing I have ever seen

I resent that too and I was always cautious about peoples spending just on my wedding, I didnt want to have it on an estate 50 miles away from home cause then there was the problem with driving/drinking and generally having fun and I didnt want a hen night that consisted of three weeks in Maurituius and expect people to pay up for it.

Friend of mine did a themed'list' - said if you want to buy something, get something white, or if not donate to charity. She got some nice white sheets, china etc plus jokey bits too.

I saw a loo seat on wedding list once

We got an oven glove as one of our gifts and I love it, it's really funky

about price of soup tureen - that was just plucked out of the air

I would DEFFO be annoyed if she'd bunged that out with her first hubby

My gosh, that post was awful ! I applaud you if you managed to make sense out of it

mp how cranky are you today?

my mum remarried after many years alone (dad was a twunt) and why should she have been ashamed about wedding presents when marrying the love of her life?

she didn't get most of her wedding presents back to start with cos they 'disappeared' plus she wanted to have some things that were hers and dsf's to start afresh

and maybe there's a difference between what you think of as wedding presents. Having googled your soup tureen and finding it coming in at a bargain £165, I'd like to point out that some of us get wedding presents costing £20-£25 each guest and are bloody well grateful for them as well

We had a gift list as JL for our wedding last July and i absolutely hated sending out those little cards with the invitations. I struggled with it for weeks before DH and I decided we would add a little note in just saying that we do not expect anybody to buy us gifts but if they would like to and there were stuck for idea's then some options were available through JL.

Absolutely hated it and found the whole thing really cringeworthy - we got some lovely gifts and not all were from JL

IMO I think a good structured wedding list is not a problem...with all different price ranges...obviously closer family members buy the more expensive items...or what they can afford..
Asking money for an extension is rude

Blu you are ABSOLUTELY right

Yes or something they can easily divide in two

Bookends

unbelievable about the extension!

i think the thing with second marriages is that you've already invested in the first mariage and they ballsed it up so having a list for a second marriage is cheeky. i would still buy a friend a present, but it might very well be an oxfam goat.

What is RUDE is the assumption/obligation that people will spend LOTS OF MONEY just because it is a wedding

I RESENT that