Made Up Food Rules

Oooo I agree.

My boss used to genuinely believe this and quote it when he saw me eating a lot of bananas. He would say, in all seriousness, it can KILL you.

I looked it up and told him that, in theory, he was right… the only caveat being that I’d have to eat 18,000 bananas in 31 seconds.

(Worryingly) I agree with a lot of these.

No baked bean juice or ketchup near egg..

No tomato in omelette.

Baked beans can only go on toast if there is a good layer of butter as a barrier (for which the toast has to have cooled down).

I dont agree about the no butter with jam thing. Toast needs butter. Lots of.

No parsley or coriander anywhere.

The best crisp sandwich is crappy white bread, butter, snv crisps and marmite.

I have always saved the best bits til last but absolutely see the sense in eating them first. I may have to change a lifetime habit!

This is everything that is wrong with Mumsnet in a single post.

Good god this is true and Ive never realised it. If I have chip shop chips they absolutely have to have salt and vinegar but McDonald's fries only have salt. Its never occurred to me before that I dont even think about vinegar with skinny fries but chips without it would be impossible.

🤮🤮🤮

My dad was told this by his kidney specialist. This is back in teh 80s. I dont think he has since eaten a banana.

Foods that should be savoury but taste sweet in a savoury meal. Or foods that should be sweet that taste savoury. Sweetcorn for example. Its a vegetable but its sweet and makes me heave. Can't stand the stuff. Same with caramel that's salted. Caramel should be sweet but ,in your mouth, salted caramel isn't. Foul stuff

At breakfast my DH eats a slice of toast topped with butter, peanut butter, a soft boiled egg, a large dollop of squeezy marmite, then a sprinkling of dried parsley. Yes, I know!!!
So there are no rules in our house.

Oh yes. When people ask for spag bol recipes and someone comes on and says 'the real bolognese sauce in Italy is made with calves liver and milk, and not served with spaghetti but tagliatelle.

No one cares. We are looking for a mince- and tomato-based sauce to go with spaghetti. I don't care if no one in Italy ever ate it anywhere. We eat it in UK and it's lush.

Sweetcorn is a fruit, as are tomatoes, peppers and courgettes.

Very happy with bean juice on bread or toast but absolutely concur that bean juice and egg must never meet. You and I are the reason that budget cafes started using ramekins for beans ✊ power!

gonoodleoodle
Baked bean juice may never ever touch eggs or bread.

But but but … (faints- fake camera pans out to beautiful fry up where beans and eggs are next to each other to create an exquisite taste . Some is missing off the plate, oh, hold on, it’s on the bread and real butter sandwich!!)

Tomato soup must only be eaten when it’s snowing or there is snow on the ground. I’ve tried rebelling but it just doesn’t taste as good without snow ☹️
ETA: also meat must be the last thing you eat on your plate in case anyone calls around mid meal and thinks that you couldn’t afford meat. Still can’t eat it first 😂

@Dearg
I’ve never heard of beetroot, pickled or otherwise, as an accompaniment for stovies. Or milk for that matter.
Oatcakes on the other hand, most definitely! And brown sauce (though that might just have been my Dad & me!)

I've found my thread
My family rules, Yorkshire pudding only with roast beef, usually as a starter on its own
Parsnips- only with beef
Stuffing and pigs in blankets only with roast chicken and Christmas turkey
New potatoes never with beef
Mushy peas made with dried peas soaked overnight (actually delicious) only with roast pork ditto apple sauce
Mint sauce only with roast lamb unless a meat pie also served with mushy peas, I only encountered this in York pubs
My sister still sticks to the roast dinner rules but my offspring insist on Yorkshire puddings with all roasts Inc Christmas
Have to admit I thought ' nooo' a couple of weeks ago when served stuffing balls and pig in blanket with an otherwise excellent beef roast in a pub

Oh I do, as the homemade from scratch I have tried looked like dirty dishwater🤣

Grated cheese does not belong in sandwiches. It falls out!

This is true. It's the only thing I don't have butter with. I even have butter with peanut butter!

I hate meat crisps, apart from bacon crisps. I absolutely loathe meat soup though. I think it’s the thought of tiny bits of meat floating about 🤮 Generally though, I absolutely love meat and adore a steak but those circumstances gross me out.

Yolks must be very well cooked (preferably popped and turned over if a fried egg). Runny yolk makes me feel a bit sick, even looking at it. It reminds me of the consistency and density of green snot or pus. I just have no idea how people can put it in their mouths and eat it.

Gravy must not touch any green foods.
Sandwiches are nicer cut into triangles.
Smooth soup is a bit weird.

Soups. Thick and blended, thick with bits in, or cream with bits in - all good textures. Thin soup (like French onion) - not great, but acceptable. Thin soup with a mixture of bits in (like minestrone) - unacceptable. Thin stew with bits in - completely out of the question. However, ramen is OK.

Plates containing multiple items side by side must be correctly oriented, although 'correct' doesn't have an absolute rule and requires rotating the plate until all components are in the right place. If the components are not arranged correctly with respect to each other, plate rotation may never result in acceptable orientation. In this case the main item goes either top left or bottom left and I eat whatever is then in the wrong position first to get rid of it.

Chips from the fish and chip shop must have salt and vinegar. Unless you are eating them with curry sauce, in which case no vinegar.

Cold dessert-Hot custard
Hot dessert-Cold custard

Mint sauce belongs on any roast, gravy on none 🤮

Sweet and savoury NEVER work together, no fruit with meat or cheese.

All bread products (crumpets, wraps etc) are purely for savoury toppings.

Mayo goes with 90% or meals but NEVER warm.