Badley Fuckitt Welcomes Careful Drivers

(440 Posts)
boatyardblues Mon 26-Nov-18 18:36:30

That's where I want to live right now. Home of the Bluestocking pub and the Shady Pines, the favoured retirement home of gin-swilling, cantankerous elderly gender crit feminists. It's like that village in the Dales which dodged the bubonic plague and is a haven from PoMo fuckwittery. Anyone else in?

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terryleather Mon 26-Nov-18 18:39:29

Yes please!

boatyardblues Mon 26-Nov-18 18:39:53

DH just reminded me it was supposed to be Biglee Fuckitt. Never mind. We'll set up a twinning arrangement. It can be our sister village over the river.

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boatyardblues Mon 26-Nov-18 18:46:28

Welcome Terry. Badley Fuckitt: population 2. Which is great, because now I have someone to play darts with in the pub.

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LangCleg Mon 26-Nov-18 18:54:21

I'll come! Nobbad at darts. Shite at pool. Low tolerance for alcohol but don't let it stop me.

boatyardblues Mon 26-Nov-18 18:56:54

Great stuff. I want a relaxed, no judging depilation policy at the local leisure centre so I don’t have to bother shaving my legs every time I want to swim.

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MrsWooster Mon 26-Nov-18 18:57:08

Im in- I shall run the village shop, like Mrs Goggins.


terryleather Mon 26-Nov-18 18:57:27

I've never played darts, crap at pool, but I LOVE a pub quiz and am partial to a Dark & Stormy (and a G'n'T and red wine and also pink fizz...)

boatyardblues Mon 26-Nov-18 19:06:19

Will it be a local shop for local people, MrsW?

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welshbookworm Mon 26-Nov-18 19:28:04

Sounds like my kind of place. Mine's a G&T. smile

moofolk Mon 26-Nov-18 19:28:40

I'll get a round in shall I? Could do with one.

boatyardblues Mon 26-Nov-18 19:30:38

I don’t want to disrupt the Bluestocking’s business. This is more for deciding on the other business of the village. For eg, do we stock the Guardian in the village shop or not?

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boatyardblues Mon 26-Nov-18 19:33:08

Place your drinks orders here:

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Igneococcus Mon 26-Nov-18 19:43:22

I'll take care of the allotment association of nobody else wants to do it.

SchnitzelVonKrumm Mon 26-Nov-18 19:47:13

I'm in.

UpstartCrow Mon 26-Nov-18 19:48:51

I already live in the twin village, Bigley by the Sea. I say village, its more of a hermitage.

OK its a cave.

FermatsTheorem Mon 26-Nov-18 19:49:12

Ooh, what are house prices like round there? Could I afford a modest dwelling (or even huge ancestral pile)?

I think, distasteful as the Graun is, we should stock everything. Very much in favour of a free press, including the freedom of that press to be wankers if that's the path they want to go down. (Even the Sun managed a stonker of a front page headline at the weekend, I noticed - "N'Golo Kante now pays more tax than Amazon and Starbucks").

DeRigueurMortis Mon 26-Nov-18 19:49:30

I've just popped my house on the market to come and join you. I'll tell DH when the sale has gone through.

I'm fond of cooking so happy to pop to the local pub to serve up a Sunday Dinner for all villagers (and yes I'll happily cater for vegans/vegetarians and food intolerances).

If anyone fancies opening a local Deli with me I'd be a very happy resident.

DeRigueurMortis Mon 26-Nov-18 19:52:09

Oh and don't ban the guardian - it would be a crime to deprive ourselves of laughing over some of the articles.

Maybe just stock a few copies in the pub to share out so we don't increase circulation too much but can still read the latest offering from Sanctimonious Morph for fun.

Katvonblackdeath Mon 26-Nov-18 19:53:00

Can I open a museum about witches there please... like Boscastle but with a GC twist?

Beamur Mon 26-Nov-18 19:55:57

How elderly? I like gin and have an allotment, but am sub 50...

Beamur Mon 26-Nov-18 19:57:34

There are some lovely recipes in the Graun weekend supplements too.
Can I bring my DH?

SuperSange Mon 26-Nov-18 19:58:22

How elderly do I need to be? I could run a yoga class or something. And drink.

AnchorMum Mon 26-Nov-18 20:00:36

I'll help in the deli, as long as we can have a tea shop on the side. No 'free-from' bakes will be served though, as too dry and powdery. Intolerant folk can always get their fill at the pub.

MindTheMinotaur Mon 26-Nov-18 20:14:02

katvonblackdeath Okay that sold the village for me. I'll run the henge and small scale archaeological digs.

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