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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationships

Onit's still on it! Thread 3

985 replies

onitlikeacarbonnet · 23/11/2016 13:49

Hello to anyone who's still here Smile

Links to previous threads.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/2658829-Anyone-up-DH-is-leaving-me

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/2690159-Anyone-up-DH-is-leaving-me-follow-up-thread-Onits-on-it

I'm carrying on with this as I'm certain I'd be in a much unhappier state without the support I've received here.
This has become my journal of sorts and I hope it's something I can look back on in time to see how far I've come.
I also hope it helps to document the truth of my situation for the future and perhaps, if read by others, will offer help and hope to them too.

OP posts:
myfriendnigel · 23/11/2016 13:58

Ah here you are...Smile
How did you go on yesterday onit?

ohdearme1958 · 23/11/2016 14:12

We're here Onit Smile

StefCWS · 23/11/2016 14:16

hey, been following the story. How is it going?

Forme2016 · 23/11/2016 16:31

Good to see you Onit. I'm still here and cheering you on Smile

Mix56 · 23/11/2016 16:38

Gotcha

TwirlyFoo · 23/11/2016 16:48

Have nc since commenting on your first thread but have remained cheerleading for you from the sidelines. Keep going onit, your children will thank you for it.

Kittencatkins123 · 23/11/2016 19:04

Here! How are things lovely Onit?!

moreslackthanslick · 23/11/2016 19:47

Keep chewing those pickled onions Onit Grin

tiredvommachine · 23/11/2016 20:08
Flowers
onitlikeacarbonnet · 23/11/2016 20:13

Lawyers appointment went ok.
Wish I lived in England though as it appears not to matter much wrt marital assets that I have 2 dependants to consider. Or he had an affair. My eroded potential earnings might hold weight but
50/50 is rarely deviated from so I am not fighting that from a position of strength. But I can live with what I have so I'm not wasting my energy. I will concede on his share of the cars to show I'm "reasonable" Confused obviously I'm being unreasonable wanting him to follow through with any commitment he's made.

I will fight to keep contact as it is at present, and I have power here.
My lawyer is positive LCB will not be granted the custody he wants and his lawyer should be making him aware of that.
I have given him all instances of missed contact etc.
When I mentioned the crying and manipulation, he suggested addressing it in the letter but said we might want to shelve it for later as I've called him out on it directly.

My meeting with my boss has been postponed til tomorrow.

OP posts:
ohdearme1958 · 23/11/2016 20:18

You wish you lived in England!!!!!


Dear god, woman. You do know they don't have white puddings there. Or half plains for that matter. And what about tattie scones? Eh? I think you need to be careful what you wish for hen!

onitlikeacarbonnet · 23/11/2016 20:32

And now I want a white pudding supper Sad

OP posts:
myfriendnigel · 23/11/2016 21:23

Good news on the custody though- and that's the more important but I think- however galling the money stuff is.
Hope all goes well with your boss tomorrow too

fraggle84 · 23/11/2016 21:27

How's your new house?

AgathaF · 23/11/2016 21:53

What is white pudding????

Glad to see the new thread. May it lead you to happier and more settled times.

Forme2016 · 23/11/2016 22:01

Also Onit I'm in England and have been advised to go for 50/50 despite me having the two DC 95% of the time, and my LCB had an affair. Doesn't seem fair does it?? (is white pudding just less messy black pudding Grin?)

Echo Nigel re custody, that's the most important

onitlikeacarbonnet · 23/11/2016 22:30

White pudding en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/White_pudding

I'm not interested in the money other than getting our house up to a standard that we're all used to.
30 year old boilers and kitchens. At least 10 years since a decent lick of paint.
But dcs rooms are decorated now, kitchen is in but still lots to do in there including taking down the suspended ceiling and plastering up the bare brick where the old fridge/freezer was.
Boiler will go in probably after the year.
ActuAlly love our wee house. We're all very settled and can't wait for next year when the DC will get more use of the park across the road and get out to play with their pals.

OP posts:
AgathaF · 23/11/2016 22:46

White pudding sounds much nicer than our black pudding.

I'm so glad you're settled in your new place. Cosmetic stuff can be done as and when. You should be proud of yourself for all that you've done.

Dowser · 23/11/2016 23:00

Glad you love your house.
Look how far you've come in such a short time.

Your situation will only get better and better. He will always be an arsehole.

Dowser · 23/11/2016 23:02

Who advised ...pp in England. I saw three solicitors and went with the one who said 60:40
I actually got 72:28
When it went in front of the judge.

Forme2016 · 23/11/2016 23:10

Dowser - it was me and I wish, but as I'm the higher earner it's what I've been told is reasonable

ohdearme1958 · 24/11/2016 05:52

White pudding is the food of the gods. But unlike Irish white pudding it doesn't have pork etc in it. I have about 12 in the freezer, plus 4 haggis. It caused a bit of a stir at security last week. It must have looked like quite a few ball and chains.

Onit, can I PM you about your new kitchen. I need to pick your brain re Howdens

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onitlikeacarbonnet · 24/11/2016 11:42

Of course ohdear

OP posts:
JunosRevenge · 24/11/2016 12:10

Totally trivial hijack I know, but my Scottish DH does love a red pudding supper.

UptheAnty · 24/11/2016 12:16

I served haggis as a side dish last night to a Singaporean, Brazilian and Chinese guests in my home.... they wanted to try a taste of my homelands! They were not disappointed...or incredibly polite Wink

Glad you've started s new thread onit

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