Onit's still on it! Thread 3

[onitlikeacarbonnet]

Hello to anyone who's still here

Links to previous threads.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/2658829-Anyone-up-DH-is-leaving-me

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/2690159-Anyone-up-DH-is-leaving-me-follow-up-thread-Onits-on-it

I'm carrying on with this as I'm certain I'd be in a much unhappier state without the support I've received here.
This has become my journal of sorts and I hope it's something I can look back on in time to see how far I've come.
I also hope it helps to document the truth of my situation for the future and perhaps, if read by others, will offer help and hope to them too.

[AgathaF]

I'm glad you have decided to not do anything different to what you have been doing. You should not feel you have to dance to his tune, or do things to accommodate him. He is capable of looking for stuff in their bags himself. He is also capable of asking them for their news. If he hasn't yet caught on to this, then the sooner he does the better for him. But it's not your responsibility.

[myfriendnigel]

Yep-mine is also a school governer. He was angry with me for telling school when he had just moved out and about the situation-I felt I had to as I wanted someone looking out for my girls and they would have needed to know that it was the parent of another child in the class involved to be able to support them properly had there been upset at school. He was just really worried about how he would look to the head teacher.
To my face he had said it was the right thing to do-to his sisters he said he felt it was me 'stirring trouble to try and make him look bad'.
And yet he claims not to care what people think of him
You can't reason with people that are that driven by ego onit-sometimes it's best to stop trying, above the bare minimum required.

[onitlikeacarbonnet]

LCB called to speak to the DC this afternoon. A few minutes of chat were had which I had to endure as we were in the car at the time.
Had a wee smile to myself when ds asked LCB why he was calling because "We're going to see you tomorrow anyway" LCB was obviously a bit put out. Boo hoo

[Mix56]

Nice !

[AgathaF]

Excellent .

[onitlikeacarbonnet]

Just checking in
I'm currently in Sainsbury's with a shopping list for my weekend away with 2 of my lovely friends
I am so excited it might as well be Christmas already!
Been quiet this week which is nice but ominous given what came around after the last quiet spell but I will try to switch off from it all over the next couple of days and have fun (and lots of gin) with my pals.

Hope you all have a lovely weekend

[MrsPeelyWally]

Onit, if you're still in sainsburys buy yourself a bottle of Rhubarb Gin. It's delicious and doesn't hurt the next day.

[Mix56]

Rhubarb Gin,
OMG no one told me about this ..........

[MrsPeelyWally]

Mix, it's lovely and can even be drank as a liqueur poured over ice. And if you're really into Gin I recommend getting yourself a Gin glass.

[onitlikeacarbonnet]

I will ask Santa (me ) for the glass at least.
I did actually look at the rhubarb gin but not a fan of plain old Edinburgh gin. I'm sticking to the caorrun (sp) which is especially lovely with lots of fresh lime in and doesn't seem to affect my head next day.

[ohdearme1958]

Sounds like a plan onit.

Did you know that the Spanish are mad about Gin and it's the most popular drink there.

[ChanandlerBongsNeighbour]

Have a great weekend! You've MORE than earned it!

[myfriendnoel]

Have a great weekend onit xx

[onitlikeacarbonnet]

Got back late this afternoon.
Had an absolutely fantastic weekend with my friends, punctuated by 7 phone calls and 3 (I think) text from LCB.
After first 2 missed calls and 1 text (we were in the middle of Aberdeenshire and very dodgy reception) I texted him to say he should call my house or my sister if he wanted to speak to the DC as I wasn't at home.
The phone rang as I was driving home so I answered and he asked to speak to the DC. I told him I wasn't at home and he should call my house or my sister. He said he'd misinterpreted my text.
Obviously my friends witnessed all of thugs and agreed that he most likely was deliberately trying to ruin my weekend.
He didn't.
But it was annoying.
He sent a text later which explained about misunderstanding my text and offering his apologies if "it has seemed like Ive been hassling you"

When I got home my sister said he had called and DC had not talked but just chucked the phone between themselves.
He called after I got home again and DC did speak but only said "Hi. Bye" he would've heard me ask them if they wanted to talk to daddy.
I said to him I don't know what you want me to do. He said he doesn't want me to do anything and he hung up.

I have had the loveliest welcome home. Huge hugs and kisses. The DC had a ball with their DA & DU and their grandson.

I actually feel a little sorry for LCB that he had such a shitty weekend himself that he had nothing better to do that try to bait me. Poor soul

[onitlikeacarbonnet]

Thugs = this

[onitlikeacarbonnet]

I had not told him I was going away but the DC knew for a week that their aunt was coming to stay while I was away.
If he had asked what they were going to be doing, I'm fairly soon they'd have told him (even if he didn't ask) as they were ridiculously excited about it.
I'm 99% sure he knew I was away without DC.

[Mix56]

You do not have to tell him what you are doing with your life, even less justify it. He left. Do NOT feel sorry for him. Remember he chose this & his karma is all of his making

[Splishing]

Glad you had a good time away. It's sounds like it did you the world of good despite the interruptions from him.
I too would be suspicious of your ex saying he didn't know you were away. If your DC are anything like mine, then if they are really excited about something then they will be telling everyone. So I would fully expect them to have told your ex too.

[TheSilveryPussycat]

Excellent stuff, onit. It seems to me that you handled that pretty near perfectly :) (I know it is sad for the DCs though [sad))

[Dowser]

It's just lovely the first time you do something out of the ordinary , especially when you see the look their faces.

After he'd tripped over my new bike in the living room for about 20 minutes and curiosity got the better of him, he finally came out with

Exh...and where are you going to be riding the bike

Me...Cuba!

It was a priceless moment . One I'll never forget. It was like a monty python sketch. I swear to the almighty that he prac ricocheted off the walls going ' Cuba?'
.'
"Cuba?"

"Cuba?"

I loved every single minute of it. I played that tape back in my head every day right up to going to Cuba and beyond.
He had a face like a well slapped arse!

So Bonnet has a life away from her kids...lol...get used to it loser!

[maggiecate]

He was so totally wondering if you were away with a bloke (lurker but following your situation and you're amazing and a fabulous mum!)

[ohdearme1958]

I'm glad you had a great weekend Onit, and that the children were over the moon to see you.

I'm laughing at the phone calls and texts from him because I think it's the fact you were away full stop that bothered him. That's how baseline it is with these people.

[AgathaF]

I'm so pleased you had a great weekend, and of course got the fantastic welcome home you deserve from your DC.

I wouldn't waste your time feeling sorry for the LCB. As they say, he's made his bed and now he has to lie in it. Poor lamb - !

[UptheAnty]

Congratulations onit .. for having a wonderful weekend with your friends, coming home to happy little onits .....that it send lcb into a tailspin is just extra jam

[myfriendnoel]

So pleased you had a great weekend onit-you deserved that
And if it made numbnuts a bit uncomfortable then that's just an added bonus. I know life shouldn't be about revenge and small victories in this way-but I think occasionally when they come along they have to be celebrated