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Tell us about your worst wedding experiences?

(499 Posts)
ENormaSnob Tue 08-May-12 13:49:48

Inspired by diamondsonthesoleofhershoes thread in aibu.

The worst wedding I have ever attended was an attempt at a big traditional wedding done on a tiny budget. Freezing cold room, luke warm daytime buffet with 2 choices served on paper plates that bent when the food hit them, no drinks at all, not even a toast after the speeches. There was a pay bar which is fine with me but not even one glass of wine with the meal seems mean. The night buffet was worse than the daytime one, a few plates of dry sarnies and 2 plates of mummified chicken. No pudding of any description throughout the whole day sad I was cold and hungry all day. The bride had told me before hand that most of their budget had gone on outfits for the wedding party and the cars. Cars which no one saw anyway confused On a positive note, the drinks weren't extortionate like they are in some places.

I am not a fussy cow btw, my ideal wedding as a guest would be a village hall type of affair with everyone bringing a plate and a bottle.

Weezie85 Tue 08-May-12 13:58:45

The worst one we went to was a wedding at 11am, which was about 90 minutes away from where everyone lived. No idea why they choose that venue as all the family and friends and the couple themselves lived within the same 10 mile radius of where we were coming from. The bride was late, the venue was very fancy so when we finally got out of the church at 12.30pm and went to the venue they served shots of green wheatgrass, tiny little appertifs and that was it until 4pm when the dinner was served. Thought I would die of starvation.
It was just such bad timing. Also the fact that it was literally in the middle of nowhere meant that you couldn't even just nip off to grab a packet of crisps. The venue was a stately home so didn't have snacks either.

Oscalito Tue 08-May-12 14:02:59

A wedding reception held by my cousin... in an office conference room in the city confused. Bright lights, no seats, lots of awkward standing around.... one plate of prawns appeared and then not much else, apart from bucketloads of very good wine. I was utterly smashed as the wedding was at five so no one ate.

Really strange as he is very wealthy.

Lottapianos Tue 08-May-12 14:04:18

My parents went to a black tie wedding in a castle on 28 December one year. There was no heating - absolutely none whatsoever. There were beautiful big stone fireplaces everywhere but they only had a few lit candles in shock The wedding was in Ireland where they really take the pee with making everyone wait hours for dinner so they will spend loads of dosh att the bar. The bar was a tiny area with a door that didn't close properly, and people were tramping in and out constantly for a fag so there was a gale blowing through the bar area. I remember it was a properly icy cold day too. My mum was wearing a sleeveless dress and a wool wrap - it took her days to warm up afterwards!

mistlethrush Tue 08-May-12 14:04:49

Bride was 45 mins late. Turns out that the photographer made her get back in the car, drive round the block and 'arrive' again from another angle for the film. Then everything in the service was repeated in about 10 min chunks - because they weren't allowed to film the 'actual' ceremony, but the priest would allow it to be filmed again immediately afterwards. Arrived at reception, half a glass of warm fizz whilst we waited for about 90mins (more photos) for the bridge and groom to arrive so that we could be greeted by the 'proper' line up going into the main room. 'Vegetarian' option at the buffet-style food (don't have any issue with a buffet) being fish which of course is not suitable for vegetarians - took sometime to get some microwaved bhajis as an alternative!

blackteaplease Tue 08-May-12 14:05:41

We went to one as evening guests and arrived at 7pm to be told that the speeches had just started so we could sneak into the room and wait for them to finish.

The father of the bride gave a complete run down of all of the brides life acheivements for about 45 minutes, it was so painful. The bride was just drinking random alcohol from the top table to alleviate boredom!

gomowthelawn Tue 08-May-12 14:06:04

You lot are mean. That's someone else's special day you are slagging off. I guess they did their best, and it isn't always easy to organise a successful party when you've never done it before. Most brides get pretty stressed about the whole thing anyway, and would be mortified if they thought the guests hated it.

blackteaplease Tue 08-May-12 14:07:21

Oh, and I forgot. They served bacon butties in the evening (which is fine) but we had travelled up straight from work and I was 6 months pregnant. I had had no dinner as I thought that there would be a buffet for some reason.

I have no idea why I made this assumption as we only served cheese and bicuits blush

ripsisherethecheekycunt Tue 08-May-12 14:09:48

The one where the grooms mum went in mourning, stood up when the register was being signed and told the congregation that the bride was a slag.
The one where the RC priest told the congregation that birth control was a sin against the church, mother Mary weeps and something about nuclear weapons.
The one where the brides' brothers ate the entire buffet. Me, DH and several others ordered pizza to be delivered.

Shazjack1 Tue 08-May-12 14:10:04

Went to a wedding in the Caribbean a couple of years ago. Everyone got food poisoning within a couple of days of arrival and the poor bride inadvertently shat herself after the meal and ruined her dress. We laugh about it now but not funny at the time!

Oscalito Tue 08-May-12 14:12:00

I know it's someone's special day but if you've got a limited budget then for god's sake prioritise. Vintage cars aren't important. Feeding people and keeping them comfortable are.

blackteaplease Tue 08-May-12 14:15:48

I agree Oscalito, your guests enjoyment needs to be considered as part of your day.

DH was an usher at a wedding once where the ceremony was at 12 so we had to be there at 11. There was an hour of photos at the church then a drive to the reception, then another hour of photos before food was finally served at 5pm. I was so hungry. Apart from that it was a fab wedding.

diamondsonthesolesofhershoes Tue 08-May-12 14:20:01

gomowthelawn I don't think we were intending to slag people's special days off. Obviously the most important thing is that the bride and groom are happy but on the other thread I was deliberating over whether keeping everyone else happy was too much bother to get married in the UK.

I guess I wanted an idea of what NOT to do if I do have a family wedding blush

Shakey1500 Tue 08-May-12 14:22:34

Dh and I, along with about 20 other friends were to attend a wedding some distance away. We'd all booked to stay at the same hotel. We all had a drink in the hotel bar before setting off for the ceremony. The hotel owner overheard me saying (quietly) to DH that the tonic in my drink was flat and he went ballistic! Totally overreacted. He told dh and I that we'd have to leave NOW and that we wouldn't be welcome back to stay there later. We were all a bit confused but had to leave for the ceremony.

Wedding goes ahead. Reception in full swing. Unbeknownst to us, another of our friends (also a guest at the mad hotel) decides to TELL the bride and groom that we have nowhere to stay that night (didn't bother dh and I we'd have either slept in the car or found another hotel) and that it was up to THEM to find us alternative accomodation shock Cue the bride asking her friends and family to put us up for the night. We were told ths at the end of the evening blush and consequently found ourselves in a taxi headed to goodness knows where to stay with goodness knows who! Ended up at this house and we vaguely remember the couple from the wedding and they were very nice and understanding. Not a problem they said, plenty of room.

Walked into their living room to find several other couples from the wedding with a party in full swing. That was fine until they all started swapping partners. No wonder they didn't bloody mind. We politely declined and cuddled (read-clinged to) each other on the couch until we fell asleep. It gets worse...

At around 2am, the bride and groom turn up having also been thrown out of the hotel on the back of me complaining about flat fucking soda. The bride and groom spent the wedding night on the sofa (we moved to the floor, least we could do) of their friends house. They completely blamed DH and I for their ruined wedding and we spent the following morning listening to the bride crying down the phone to her family.

Truly truly awful.

ProfYaffle Tue 08-May-12 14:24:49

Oh I hate the ones where you have to wait hours for food.

My worst was in an unheated marquee on a farm in a chilly April. Guests ended up going to their cars and bringing in spare coats, blankets and the like for those of us in sleeveless dresses etc.

The top table were allowed into the Farmhouse to use the loo, everyone else had to use the farmworkers toilet which consisted of a hole in the ground surrounded by 4 sheets of corrugated iron and was about 30 meters away from the marquee down a muddy track with no lighting whatsoever - miles away from street lighting so pitch black. That was fun in strappy heels.

piprabbit Tue 08-May-12 14:29:50

I went to one in Wales (cost me a bomb to travel and have two nights in a hotel, but I thought our friendship was worth it).

The bride was horrifically late to the ceremony.
After the ceremony, everybody heads off to the reception venue. The directions were a load of bollox and most non-local guests got very lost, some were over an hour late and arrived quite upset at the thought of messing up the wedding for the couple. Local guests were sending out search parties to look for confused looking cars and lead them back to the hotel.
Not that the guests being late mattered as the entire wedding party had disappeared. We sat around waiting for 2.5 hours at the reception venue waiting for them to turn up. We thought there must have been an accident. When they eventually turned up, it seems they had gone to a local landmark for their photos. Not sure what took so long as it was only immediate family - the rest of the guests were at the reception venue and not included in any photos.
By this time the hotel staff were getting a bit frantic, but to give them credit the meal was lovely and the reception progressed well. Until the evening do kicked off with an extremely blue/rude comedian - think Jim Davidson with a welsh accent.

All topped off by the couple failing to send a thank you letter for their gift, and to have subsequently ignored all attempts at contact.

What a fantastic celebration hmm.

DontmindifIdo Tue 08-May-12 14:38:20

As I said on the other thread - your guests are just that, your guests, not your extras for "the perfect day" - so look after them! You wouldn't invite someone to your home from 11am and not feed them until 5pm, if it was a cold and rainy day, you'd make sure people were warm and comfortable...

Worst weddings, went to one in Sweden (bride was Swedish, not a destination wedding really), it was hight of summer and she's obviously planned for sunshine and warmth - it was at her local church and then back to a barn owned by her uncle that had been decorated, lovely. However, it was cold, seriously freezing. It rained so hard during the drinks reception there was rivers running through the field - the caterers were setting up in the barn so we weren't allowed in. There were two small gazebos set up (the bride thought we might need shelter from the sunshine grin ) the wine was in the other gazebo. We took to bribing small children to go get us bottles of wine.

The meal was lovely, it involved us eating horse. It was so cold (and remember, everyone has wet feet/mud coated legs by this point) the woman across the table from me got her DH to take his socks off (the only person with dry socks - he'd staked a claim near the booze early and not moved) for her to wear with her cocktail dress and strappy sandals. DH took to holding napkins over the candles to warm them so I could wrap them round my ankles. One of the bridesmaids had blue lips and looked ill.

The (English) best man felt the need to talk about the groom's entire sexual history, names, dates, details.... this might not have been so bad, if he hadnt got someone in his office to translate the whole speach and copies were being handed out to the bride's family. The best man even handed over the groom's porn collection to the now miserable looking bride...

At the end of the evening, we had all been told that transport had been laid on to get us back to the nearby town (everyone was staying in one of the 3 hotels there), they had arranged a coach for the way from the church to the barn so we assumed that would be the transport back, but no, they had lined up the brides cousins to drive us back in relays - very kind, but we'd been watching the down neat vodka for the last couple of hours, one could barely stand.

We're in the middle of a foreign country, not even knowing the name of the farm we're on and the only way back to the hotel is a hammered bloke driving a suped up car with bluelights underneath. We braved it in one of the first cars with one of the more sober looking blokes, having taken the mobile number of the couple with small children - the mum was holding a sleeping toddler refusing (rightly) to get in the car, we got to the hotel, got the reception (who knew the address of this farm) to send them a taxi. Apparently the taxi driver was asked to do about 10 trips, the bride said the next day that they were "so silly to pay for a taxi when someone will drive, people don't crash on country roads" confused

Longdistance Tue 08-May-12 14:39:34

The one I didn't like was in a fancy hotel. They served Pimms instead of champers/cava. We were made to wait 2hrs for the photographer in the freezing rain, and I was near 8 months pg. There was no food tila t least 5pm for a 12pm wedding, no nibbles. I though I was gonna faint. Got dh to go get sarnies as could feel my blood sugars dying couldn't not eat pg Then when the food came out, speeches ran over, and then the buffet came out straight away, which only had 6 choices. You'd walk around the table and it was like deja vu.

DontmindifIdo Tue 08-May-12 14:44:41

Basically Diamonds - even if is a summer wedding, assume it will rain, assume it will be cold, if you want the wedding to be in the middle of nowhere, provide taxi numbers with your invites - if it's hot and sunny, it's a bonus.

Lottapianos Tue 08-May-12 14:51:21

'It was so cold (and remember, everyone has wet feet/mud coated legs by this point) the woman across the table from me got her DH to take his socks off (the only person with dry socks - he'd staked a claim near the booze early and not moved) for her to wear with her cocktail dress and strappy sandals. DH took to holding napkins over the candles to warm them so I could wrap them round my ankles'

Bloody Nora! This sounds like the 7th circle of hell shock I can't imagine being so cold that DP would hold napkins over the candles to then wrap around my ankles grin

DontmindifIdo Tue 08-May-12 14:55:20

Lotta - I've been on snow and ice camps with the scouts and I can safely say I've never been so cold as I was at that wedding. (I was rather impressed with DH's "problem solving abilities after lots of wine" with his heated napkin ankle warmers.)

loopydoo Tue 08-May-12 14:56:37

The top tier of my wedding cake fell off when the waitress bashed into the table it was sitting on with her thigh.

She was only very young and felt awful so she rang her dad after she went back into the kitchen to take her home. She apparently told the manager she wasn't coming abck as she felt so bad but DH spoke to the manager and got her to call the dad and tell her we didn't mind.

I actually burst out laughing - the whole room was staring at me thinking I was going to cry but luckily, I laughed.

We put it back on and picked up the sugar craft flowers and all was fine.

I also made DH take out all of my hair grips before we went to sleep on the wedding night too - there were 84 of them!

Lottapianos Tue 08-May-12 14:56:46

Soooo miserable - and it's not like you can make your excuses and sod off, you're stuck with it! How awful. You're not married to Bear Grylls are you? wink

CeliaFate Tue 08-May-12 14:57:58

This wasn't a bad wedding, but it serves as a reminder of how to plan things a bit more carefully...
Wedding at 12 on the Saturday, 80 miles away, meaning a 2 night stay at 2 different hotels (bride's parents found the hotels and did a group booking, we paid). That's £180 straight away.
Wedding at 12, ended at 1pm, got to reception. It's freezing cold. There are no canapes, no welcome drink, there's a bar open so we buy wine.
Photographs took 3 hours by which time I'd accidentally got hammered (wine and empty stomach do not mix).
Meal arrived at 4.30.
Speeches at 6
Band at 7 - we were near the top table, which was cleared to make way for the band. Who were so loud my ears hurt and both dc cried their eyes out.
Ds felt tired at 8 so I took him to bed and stayed there, missing the hog roast and disco.
We only knew a few people at the wedding and were in one photo - we are the bride's family.

Bucharest Tue 08-May-12 15:01:27

The one where we were promised all manner of loveliness, spent a fucking fortune schlepping to London from ooop north in fancy frockage...checked into hotels and headed to church......(eager to catch a glimpse of the groom's mother's latest lover-a transvestite...we had been primed beforehand that if said lover was in frockage we were to address him as Paula but in a shirt and tie then Paul was OK....After ceremony we were herded over to tin hut of a church hall where a couple of family members pulled a couple (and I mean a couple) of bottles of supermarket beer and wine out of a couple of bags and then the respective families got tupperware countainers out. After about an hour of sitting there like, well, spare guests at a wedding, the groom came over and said "we are all heading off to the hotel now,byeeeeee"

We wnt to Cafe Rouge then bought bottles of plonk and drank it with the down and outs on Blackheath. We even checked our (beautifully embossed) invites later to make sure we hadn't missed something. Oh no..."pleasure of your company bla bla and afterwards a reception to be held in......children welcome"

We were all about £400 out of pocket. They divorced and we laughed.

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