Inspired by diamondsonthesoleofhershoes thread in aibu.
The worst wedding I have ever attended was an attempt at a big traditional wedding done on a tiny budget. Freezing cold room, luke warm daytime buffet with 2 choices served on paper plates that bent when the food hit them, no drinks at all, not even a toast after the speeches. There was a pay bar which is fine with me but not even one glass of wine with the meal seems mean. The night buffet was worse than the daytime one, a few plates of dry sarnies and 2 plates of mummified chicken. No pudding of any description throughout the whole day 
I was cold and hungry all day. The bride had told me before hand that most of their budget had gone on outfits for the wedding party and the cars. Cars which no one saw anyway 
On a positive note, the drinks weren't extortionate like they are in some places.
I am not a fussy cow btw, my ideal wedding as a guest would be a village hall type of affair with everyone bringing a plate and a bottle.
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Tell us about your worst wedding experiences?
ENormaSnob · 08/05/2012 13:49
My wedding is later this year, invites have already been posted... Church starts at 1pm, sit down for 3 course meal circa 4.30pm, cake at 8pm, evening buffet at 9.30pm.
I have put these rough timings in the wedding info sheet with the invites with the hope people will think 'ah, better have a late breakfast/light lunch before the church'
Now I'm nervous
Worst was an Evangelical Christian wedding (and by Evangelical I really mean it - I went to their church once and they had maps explaining their campaign to convert, amongst other places, the entire Middle East and India). All the other guests had short neat haircuts (male) or long hair and Laura Ashley frocks (female).
DH, a male friend and I (all atheists) turned up with two foot pony tails (them) and crew cut and emerald silk trouser suit (me) (it was the late 80s and we were students 
). We sat near the front and an empty cordon sanitaire was left on the aisles in front and behind us.
During the signing of the register the brides brother came out with a guitar to play 99 favourite evangelical tunes, none of which we knew. At first we were reassured that it was fine just to listen if we didn't know the songs, but eventually they insisted that we should "sing the next verse to Laaa". The reading was from the book of Revelations, and the priest made no pretence that his sermon had any connection with the bride and groom's happy day - it was entirely focussed on his golden opportunity to convert a captive audience. Sitting completely isolated front centre in our conspicuously non-conformist clothes we just had to sit there and take it. We staggered to the church hall for the reception to be greeted, inevitably, with the words "Would you like orange juice or grape juice?"
I am not ashamed to say that we made a detour via Oddbins on the way to catch the train home.
I went to an awesome wedding, fab venue, food and drink amazing, guests pampered and cared for and the bride and groom so obviously in love....
However, the Bestman's speech was truly grim 
. He kept referring back to the time he was Bestman the 1st time round for the groom and THEN asked the guests to raise their glasses to toast the bride and groom but used groom's first wife's name instead of the actual bride!! The guests gasped in horror, there was a stoney silence and then the gorgeous and very composed bride just laughed and said "Cheers!!" as she raised her champers!
What a dick-head that man was!
Worst one ever was a friend of exs who was marrying the rudest woman on the planet. The reception was at her parents house. They live in Cornwall and have a swimming pool. The reception was in July. Except it was freezing. There was no marquee - they'd pinned up some sheets of plastic to make a kind of lean to against the house. The food consisted of iceberg lettuce, half a tomato and 2 slices of ham. The drinks consisted of beer. Or beer. It started to rain. The contempt that the father of the bride had for his daughter was palpable - she cried during the speech because he repeatedly said that he coudn't believe she'd ever get married - and not in a nice, gentle mickey taking kind of way 
(that probably goes a long way to explaining her personality)
Then the grooms army mates decided that it would be fun to throw everyone into the pool. Fully clothed. I was 6 months pregnant and got thrown into the pool by 2 burly squaddies.
Nightmare
And they're divorced now as well.
My worst wedding experience? Going through with wedding number 1. 
I can't think that we've ever been to a bad wedding per se, they've all been lovely and had their own special moments.
That said, I do prefer the ones that aren't in stately homes/posh hotels/ hotels who think they're posh and charge extortionate prices for flat drinks
Some of the best weddings we've been to have been in fields/marquees/village halls where all guests have been asked to bring a bottle and/or plate. There's always been tons of food of a massive variety and plenty of booze too, working on the assumption that you take what you want to drink and a little extra and everyone else does similar!!
I don't like bring ripped off for drinks, but find it equally distasteful to stash a bottle of vodka/rum/gin etc in handbag and buy only mixers
Someone did hit the nail on the head tho when they said the focus should be on the marriage and not on the wedding day 
I had the most awkward moment at my DB's wedding last week.
Earlier in the day the bride had gone spare at me because we'd not brought out invite with is to 'grant entry' into the reception (hadnt realised i needed to), after being sworn at for about 5 mins I told her it had gone in the recycling.
The speeches were about to start so I legged it to go to the loo first. On the way back past the top table my new SIL grabbed my hand and started making a tearful plea to me to forgive her, how grateful she was to have me as a 'new sister' etc etc, cue my other brother (best man) tapping a glass for attention for the speeches. Room of about 150 people turn round and see the bride crying clearly sad tears and me looking a bit
Nearly got a skelping off my mum for that one.
This was actually one of the nicest wedding I had been to, very good friends, lovely service. Meal etc.
They got married 5 days after I had DD but I went to the wedding but decided to go home after the meal. We were sat having a lovely chat with people we didn't really know when I started to feel a bit funny... Glanced down to see 2huge dark spots appear on my dress which were getting bigger by the second. Of course my milk had come in I ended up grabbing DS (who was 7 at the time) picking him up, running to the loos and sent him back to the table with a message for DH. poor kid didn't know what the hell was going on! I spent most of the main course limboing under the hand dryer in the ladies & stuffing tissues in my bra..
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no matter how much thought has gone into venue/decorations/dress, the ones where everyone has been standing around starving hungary for hours are always remembered for only that!
otherwise: FOG speach turned into opportunity so schmooze buisness associates who he had invited, we were told how lucky we were that they were with us that night , and then he told us why (their CVs basically) bride and groom not mentioned - strange!
angry bride SCREEETCHING at everyone to come and have their photographs taken, she has a formal photograph list a MILE long (her and the girls from work, her and each girl from work by themselves, her and her DH with her work friends, her and her DH with each work friend by themselves.......) was screamed at in the face by the bride to find someone called Marrion, my "protests" that I didn't know who Marrion was just angered the beast , eventually found someone who knew a Marrion - phew!
I wonder how she can possibly look fondly back at those twenty thousand wedding photos when there were no happy memories behind the smiles of fear LOL!
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