Tell us about your worst wedding experiences?

[ENormaSnob]

Inspired by diamondsonthesoleofhershoes thread in aibu.

The worst wedding I have ever attended was an attempt at a big traditional wedding done on a tiny budget. Freezing cold room, luke warm daytime buffet with 2 choices served on paper plates that bent when the food hit them, no drinks at all, not even a toast after the speeches. There was a pay bar which is fine with me but not even one glass of wine with the meal seems mean. The night buffet was worse than the daytime one, a few plates of dry sarnies and 2 plates of mummified chicken. No pudding of any description throughout the whole day I was cold and hungry all day. The bride had told me before hand that most of their budget had gone on outfits for the wedding party and the cars. Cars which no one saw anyway On a positive note, the drinks weren't extortionate like they are in some places.

I am not a fussy cow btw, my ideal wedding as a guest would be a village hall type of affair with everyone bringing a plate and a bottle.

oh yes! I went to one where the buffet food ran out...very embarrassing!

The wedding I travelled 4 hours to get to, only to look at the seating plan and realise that I wasn't actually invited Luckily for me, but very sad for the bride and groom, only half the guests turned up so there were lots of empty spaces and food :(

Well the ceremony starts at 1pm, so people will be leaving about 2pm to drive to the reception, which is a good 20min drive, so really people will be mingling and enjoying some live music whilst also getting involved with the group photos. People will be seated for the 3 course meal at about 4.30pm. so only 2-2.5hrs of drinking and chatting.

Perhaps I need to get some nibbles, but I refuse to pay another £10 per head for canapes that the venue provide. I'll ask if breadsticks, crisps and nuts will be allowed

As for 'things to do' do I really need to worry about keeping adults entertained for 2 hours? There will be live music...

think is, to get to a 1pm reception (you arrive at least 20 mins early right?) most people will be in transit there over lunch time, so it is quite a long time to wait till their lunch TBH (I lot of people WONT fit lunch in before with getting their families ready and getting there) and once you're hungry that's all you notice and remember!

the canapes are more valuable than the decorations or favours etc, cause without something to take the edge off all people will notice anything else and will be miserable!

live music is nice
but only if there's food too
if the budget doesn't allow both, ditch the music for some snacks, your guests will be MUCH happier!

I got married at 1.30pm and I assumed people would eat/have a snack before they came tbh.

Food - 4 course meal - was served at 4.30 ish and then hot and cold buffet at 9pm.

There were nibbles, drinks and entertainment for guests at the venue whilst we were off having a few photos done.

No complaints.....AFAIK

On the day of our wedding it snowed so lots of our guests couldn't make it. Plus the venue was cold...we were all drinking tea to warm up. But it was still a fantastic day

We got married at 3pm and after group photos near the church had canapes & drinks for guests while our b&g photos were being done & some informal shots of guests before going to reception at 6pm. People ate LOADS of canapes - some had clearly not had lunch in spite of the mid-afternoon start! I'd even said MIL had made enough for 10 each & they all went! They didn't run out early or anything but she was shocked that there were not some left as she thought there were plenty. And I think I'd even made it clear in the information that we weren't eating until the evening.

Another thing was I had made it also clear on the info sheet that if you weren't getting a train, a lift or driving home from reception you would need to PRE-BOOK a taxi and gave names of several firms so that people could do so. And yet one or two people had not and were a bit miffed at having to wait an hour for a taxi...

Also even before that one person went to completely the wrong village and was an hour late...

So you can do what you can to make it lovely for people but some guests will still be disorganised and make it hard for themselves...

At the wedding I went to, the ceremony itself was fine (bride was late, but hey ho), it was the reception that was a problem. It was at a massive country house and well out of the way of any towns or villages. I know the local area, so it was fine for DP and I to get to, but others had problems. With the hour after hour of photographs (which no one was allowed to leave during, in case you were needed for a shot), what was sold to the guests as an early afternoon sit down meal, became very firmly a dinner. Hot Summer day, alcohol, no food, and guests in high heels doesn't make a very good set up. Several people passed out.

I attended a very big, overblown affair. The sort where the women hold their bags awkwardly to display the logo to maximum effect.

The minister began by reading a list of rules and sending a collection plate around immediately, every speech mentioned a family member a few years back who had been a professional sports person (I'd never heard of him! Nor had my sports-mad husband). The speeches also mentioned how often they ate at the hotel, trying to impress- I wasn't. It's a bog standard hotel.

There were no favours as the money was given to charity (fair enough) but it was done very ostentatiously. The bride and groom bought each other ridiculously expensive gifts (fair enough) and made sure everyone knew how much they cost-tacky.

We were sat right at the back, the last numbered cards (must've just made the cut) seated with the groom's much younger, idiotic friends who snuck booze in(!) then left it under our table when they were nearly chucked out.

A friend was getting married about the same time as me.

Knowing full well she was better off at the time and I was on several precarious part time contracts she belittled every choice I made: "Oh you're having chicken? Everyone has chicken. We're having #picks the most expensive item on the menu#".

Not to mention the seven, eight? hen dos. And her being a proper bridezilla, taking pride in treating the hotel staff like dirt until...her husband to be confessed that she was going nuts with the whole thing, could I have a word and turns out that half the plans never materialised.

My brother's first wedding.

Had to wear bridesmaids which where badly fitted and cut into our underarms, but we were not allowed to change out of. Veg had only been shown the boiling water so carrot balls and potatoes where flying all over the dinning room in posh stately home. The live band couldn't play in tune or sing. My brother only went through with it because it had all been paid for .

We went to a wedding last year where we were freeeeeeeezing! It was a 12:00 ceremony but an hour away so we'd left home at 10:30 just to make sure. Big house, middle of no where, draughty.

We were all taken outside for photos after the ceremony at about 12:30 and no one allowed back in in case we were needed (one photo for us); this lasted two hours! All the women were in little dresses, the odd one with a wrap and people were turning blue - given it was a ceremony and meal in one building I think most people had thought they wouldn't need particularly warm clothing. There were a few canapes and the waitress warned us the food wasn't until 4pm and to have as much to eat now as possible! We froze a bit more inside as the place wasn't well heated (it was April but not warm).

Some of the rest of the wedding was lovely but all I can remember is being cold and hungry.

I have been to so many weddings

The ones I remember are the ones where the guests were hungry or cold.

why is this so hard to sort out?

I'm not a cold/hungry person usually but seriously this does seem to happen a lot!

x-posts with Hanley!

I think the cold/hungry thing happens because some people don't plan anything while photos are being taken, or don't imagine photos will take so long while the photographer goes a bit mad...Guests HATE the photo stage, they just want a chinwag, a drink and a snack, also somewhere to sit, preferably. Somewhere warm if its cold & somewhere shady if its hot. You have to make that bit as painless as possible. It doesn't have to be grand - one of the best organised ones had bowls of Maltesers & sweets in the bar while photos were being done.

Register office at noon.
Then family only lunch.
Evening do at 7.30.
Lurk around small village 200 miles away from home for seven hours.
One singles tray of food for Mother of Bride who is diabetic. Then nothing.
By 9pm all the guests were in the chippy.

There was not a single crumb of food planned for guests, only drink was fizz fir toasting.

It amazes me that people invite you to their wedding as a guest but don't pay you the courtesy of ensuring that the basic amenities - heat, food, drink will be sufficient.

I'd rather fish and chips in the centrally heated village hall to freezing my arse off in a strappy dress on the lawn of a manor house.

Where's the fun in that?

The answer is to get married in the winter, somewhere that has a real open fire, serve mulled wine and snacks while you're having your photos done then have a big huge meal with dancing afterwards.

DH's niece getting married 'up north' where most of the family are from so we travelled and stayed at a hotel - Brides Dad (BIL) had been through messy divorce a few years before and his new wife and SDDs not allowed to attend - although he and his new wife had paid for most of the wedding.

We were 'guilty by association' and spent most of the meal dodging bread rolls and food being thrown at us - even when the bride (who adores my DH) came and sat with us.

One of the brides aunts tried to get me outside for a fight (because BIL would not admit that his 'new' family were nothing and did not matter and I'm a second wife like she is)

Finally - everyone else left and bride and groom asked us to stay up (we were in same hotel) so we could have a chat and a few drinks - when we heard a noise and looked in the car park and found the 3 bridesmaids fighting with another girl (she had told the bridesmaids the bride had said they were not very supportive while she was organising the wedding!!) The two best men (!!) refused to go out and sort it out as the girls were better at fighting than they were.

To top it all - I found a woman crying in the loos during the evening - tried to comfort her and she poured out the story that the groom and her son had been best mates and her son had died a few years earlier and so she would never attend his wedding / be a grandmother etc etc................

One of the best I went to had large slices of gorgeous home made cakes with cups of tea served at the back of the church whilst the photos were taken.

Like everyone else I hate weddings at 12.00 or 1.00 as there is not time to eat lunch. We had ours at 3 because of this and I put the time of the meal and evening buffet on the invites so people could plan. I have taken tupperwares of cold pizza and fruit in my handbag for the kids to eat during the service for lunchtime weddings .

Oh god yes - comforting crying women in the toilet. Joyful day!

I went to one evening reception where the venue was invaded by a travelling community who were attempting to drink in every establishment in town as part of a wake. they ate the food, drank the wine, danced etc. There was a lockdown. the police were called to evict and the bride stood up and very calmly told them to f off and stop ruining her day. we got extra free champagne and food from the venue as an apology.

I did not really enjoy my cousin's (groom) wedding last year. DH and I were invited without kids, which is fine in principle. Unfortunately our childcare arrangements (PILs) fell through at the last minute (Friday afternoon) due to illness and it was too late to line up anyone else (we had a 7am flight on Saturday morning to get there, so we essnetially needed someone to stay at ours (or have the kids) from Friday evening until Sunday afternoon). I had been very busy at work and was tired anyway, so we thought we would just cancel but my mum got a bit upset as neither of my siblings were going, so I ended up going on my own without DH. Given work and early flight (and general worry about missing flight so not sleeping well), I had about 4 hours sleep. When I looked at the seating plan, there was no-one else I knew at my table (and an empty seat for DH given last minute cancellation). Turns out the other people at my table were all friends of the bride's parents, about 20 years older than me and not particularly inclusive (although I did try). To make matters worse, they served fruit juice rather than wine with the meal. No idea if it was a religious reason or financial (there was a pay bar but none of the others at my table ordered any wine so I did not like to in case it was some kind of religious reason). Luckily one of my other cousins came and sat with me for a while so that helped at least.

I also found the wedding really quite formulaic (apart from the lack of wine!) and a bit lacking in any particular "stamp" of the personality of the couple. But I suspect that is being a bit harsh, as a lot of weddings are quite formulaic and I have really enjoyed most of the others I have been to.

I think my weddings are usually pretty grim tbh - I have had two in register offices, and certainly in those days the latest possible appointment I could get was 11.45 in both cases, so everyone had to get up at crack of dawn to get there, using my possibly not ideal directions. I always put some witty crack on the invitation about dress code so nobody knows how to dress. I insist on getting married on a Saturday as I don't feel posh enough to marry during the week, thereby insulting my partially Jewish new family. I arrange so much food and drink that the waste causes my cheeseparing blood family to have a collective conniption about it and start stashing leftovers in their emergency tupperware before the speeches even get going. And I have had two wedding lists . I do look back and get pretty at myself. What is it about weddings? What was I thinking?

Our own! It was a litany of crapness.

During the meal, a waitress was flirting with my sister's DP. When the waitress was serving her main course, she poured a half full gravy boat down her dress. Which, thankfully, wasn't very hot.

Also during the meal, it came out that my Dad had lied to his fiancée about when and why he left my Mum...total accident, she mentioned something, my Gran corrected her, she asked my Dad to confirm...Dad's fiancée storms out, he yells at my Gran and storms out.

In the evening a very-nearly-fist-fight breaks out between DH's Dad and Uncles. DP spends so long breaking up/sorting out that I don't see him all evening.

My Mum's DP falls over on the dance floor and has to go to A&E.

Ahhhh...we sound so classy. We are much less chavvy than this all makes us sound!